Will Edit By 10/1/12
Season 1
[Pilot] [1.01]Stefan: For over a century, I have lived in secret. Hiding in the shadows, alone in the world. Until now. I'm a vampire and this is my story.
Bonnie: Hold up, who's this?Elena: All I see is back.Bonnie: It's a hot back! I'm sensing Seattle and he plays a guitar.Elena: You're really going to run this whole psychic thing into the ground, huh? Bonnie: Pretty much.
Elena: [about Matt] He hates me.Bonnie: That's not hate. That's "You dumped me but I'm too cool to show it, but secretly I'm listening to Air Supply's greatest hits.
"Elena: People are going to stop giving you breaks, Jeremy. They just don't care any more. They don't remember that our parents are dead, they have their own lives to deal with. The rest of the world has moved on. You should try to.Jeremy: I've seen you in the cemetery writing in your diary. Is that... is that supposed to be you moving on?
Caroline: His name is Stefan Salvatore. He lives with his uncle up at the old Salvatore boarding house. He hasn't lived here since he was a kid. Military family, so they moved around a lot. He's a Gemini and his favorite color is blue.Bonnie: You got all that in one day?Caroline: Please. I got all that between third and fourth period. We're planning a June wedding
.Stefan: I know it's late, but I needed to know if you're okay.Elena: You know, for months, that's all everyone's wondered about me, if I'll be OK.Stefan: What do you tell them?Elena: That I'll be fine.Stefan: Do you ever mean it?Elena: Ask me tomorrow. (Stefan stares at her) It's warmer in the house, we can talk. Would you like to come in?Stefan: (smiles) Yes.
Zach: You promised. (shows him the newspaper with the news of the attack)Stefan: This was an animal attack.Zach: Don't give me that. I know the game - you turned them up enough and they always suspect an animal attack. You said you had it under control.Stefan: And I do.Zach: Please Uncle Stefan. Mystic Falls is a different place now, it's been quiet for years but there are people who still remember and you being here its just going to stir things up.Stefan: It's not my intention.Zach: Then what is? Why did you come back after all this time? Why now?Stefan: I don't have to explain myself.Zach: I know that you can't change who you are, but you don't belong here anymore.Stefan: Where do I belong?Zach: I can't tell you what to do. But coming back here was a mistake
.Damon: Your hairs different, I like it.Stefan: It's been 15 years, Damon.Damon: Thank god! Couldn't take another day of the 90's. That horrible grunge look did not suit you. Remember Stefan, it's important to stay away from fads.
Stefan: What are you doing here?Damon: I missed my little brother.Stefan: You hate small towns, they're boring there's nothing for you to do.Damon: I've been keeping myself busy.Stefan: You left that girl alive tonight. That was very careless of you.Damon: Yeah, that could be a problem... for you
.Damon: Is it working? Being in her world? Does it make you feel alive?
Damon: I was impressed. I'll give it a six. Missing style, but I was pleasantly surprised. Very good with the whole face thing, it was good.Stefan: It's all fun and games, huh Damon? But wherever you go, people die.Damon: That's a given.Stefan: Not here, I won't allow it.Damon: I take that as an invitation.
Stefan: Damon, please, after all these years, can't we just give it a rest.Damon: I promised you an eternity of misery, so I'm just keeping my word.
Stefan: Stay away from Elena.Damon: I take that as an invitation.
Stefan's journal:I shouldn't have come home. I know the risk. But I had no choice. I have to know her.
I lost control today. Everything I've kept buried inside came rushing to the surface. I'm simply not able to resist her.
I had a plan. I wanted to change who I was, create a life as someone new, someone without the past. Someone alive.
They follow you. You can't escape them - as much as you want to.
Elena's diary:Dear Diary, Today will be different. It has to be. I will smile, and it will be believable. My smile will say, "I'm fine, thank you. Yes, I feel much better." I will no longer be the sad little girl that lost her parents. I will start fresh, be someone new. It's the only way I'll make it through.
Dear Diary, I made it through the day. I must have said "I'm fine, thanks" at least 37 times. And I didn't mean it once. But no one noticed. When someone asks "How are you?", they really don't want an answer.
Dear Diary, I couldn't have been more wrong. I thought that I could smile and nod my way through it, pretend like it would all be okay.
Without the pain. Someone alive. But it's not that easy. Bad things stay with you.
All you can do is be ready for the good, so when it comes, you invite it in. Because you need it. I need it.
The Night of the Comet [1.02]Bonnie: I was talking to Grams, and she said that the comet is a sign of impending doom. The last time it pasted over Mystic Falls there was lots of death, so much blood and carnage it created a bed of paranormal activity.Caroline: Yeah, then you poured Grams another shot and she told you about the aliens.Elena: We never got to the texting part.Bonnie That's an important part in any relationship.Jenna: Eat anyway. It's a rouse. I wanna talk.Damon: Were you successful? Did the powers of persuasion work? Remember if you don’t feed properly, none of those little tricks work right.Stefan: How long was Elena here?Damon: Are you worried, Stefan? Scared we may be doomed to repeat the past? Isn’t that why you play your little game ‘I’m a high school human’?Stefan: I’m not playing any game.Damon: Of course you are. We both know the closest you’ll ever get to humanity is when you rip it open and feed on it.Elena: He [Damon] told me about your ex, Katherine?Stefan: What did he say?Elena: She broke your heart.Stefan: It was a long time ago.Elena: When you lose someone, it stays with you. Always reminding you of how easy it is to get hurt.Stefan: Elena…Elena : It's okay, Stefan. I get it. You have no idea how much I get it. Complicated brother? Check. Complicated Ex? Check. Too complicated to even contemplate dating? Double check. It's okay. We met and we talked and it was epic, but then the sun came up and reality set in.Vicki: I know you.Damon: Well, that's unfortunate.Damon: You have two choices. You can feed and make her forget. Or you can let her run screaming vampire through the town square.Stefan: That's what this is about? You wanna expose me?Damon: No! I want you to remember who you are!Stefan: Why? So what, so I'll feed, so I'll kill, so I'll remember what it's like to be brothers again? You know what, let her go. Let her tell everyone that vampires have returned to Mystic Falls, let them chain me up and let them drive a stake through my heart, 'cause then at least I'll be free of you.Damon: It's good to be home. I think I might stay awhile, this town could use a bit of a wake up call, don't you think?Stefan: What are you up to, Damon?Damon: That's for me to know and to you to... dot, dot, dot.Elena: So the thing is, I got home tonight planning on doing what I always do. Write in my diary, like I have been since my mother gave me one when I was 10. It's where I get everything out and it all goes in this one little book, that I hide on the 2nd shelf behind this really hideous ceramic mermaid. But then I realized I would justwriting things I should probably be talking about.Stefan: What would you write?Elena: I would write, Dear Diary, Today I convinced myself it's okay to give up. Don't take risks. Stick with the status quo, no drama. Now just isn't the time. But my reasons aren't reasons they're excuses. All I'm doing is hiding from the truth and the truth is, I'm scared Stefan. I'm scared that if I let myself be happy for one moment, that the my worlds going to come crashing down and I don't know if I'll be able to survive that.Stefan: Do you want to know what I would write? I met a girl, we talked and it was epic. Then the sun came up and reality set in. Well, this is reality... right here.[edit]Friday Night Bites [1.03]Elena: That throw was insane! I didn't know you play football.Stefan: I used to, it was a long time ago.Elena: So why don't you try out for the team?Stefan: Yeah, I don't think so.Elena: So you don't like football?Stefan: No I love football, I think it's a great sport but in this case I don't think football likes me. You saw Tyler over there and we both know how Matt feels.Elena: They don't know you. To them your just mysterious loner guy. Wouldn't hurt to be a part of the team, make some friends.Stefan: Says the girl who spends her alone time writing in a cemetery.Elena: Hey, come on, there's more to me then just gloomy graveyard girl. There's a whole another Elena you have yet to meet. She was into everything, very busy.Stefan: Well I look forward to meeting her, and when will that be?Elena: Soon. She's working on it.Bonnie: Fine. Well, how about this. Today, I’m obsessed with numbers. Three numbers. I keep seeing 8, 14 and 22. How weird is that?Elena: Maybe we should play the lottery?Stefan: They are people, Damon. She's not a puppet - she doesn't exist for your amusement... for you to feed on whenever you want to.Damon: Sure she does. They all do. They're whatever I want them to be. They're mine for the taking.Stefan: It's time for you to go.Damon: That's not a problem. Because I've been invited in. And I'll come back tomorrow... and the following night.Matt Donovan: This week a practice I was a dick.Stefan: You had your reasons.Matt Donovan: No excuse. Good luck, we're lucky to have you.[Matt and Stefan shake hands and Matt walks away]Damon: Isn't that nice. Stefan joins a team and makes a friend. It's all so Rah-Rah go team, Yeah!Stefan: Not tonight, I'm done with you.Damon: Nice trick with Elena. Let me guess, Vervain in the necklace. I admit I was a bit surprised, it's been a while for anyone to resist my compulsion. Where'd you get it?Stefan: Does it matter?Damon: Guess I could seduce her the old fashion way or I could just... eat her.Stefan: No, your not going to hurt her Damon.Damon: No?Stefan: Because deep down inside there is a part of you that feels for her. I was worried that you had no humanity left inside you, that you had actually become that monster you pretend to be.Damon: Who's pretending?Stefan: Then kill me.Damon: Well, I'm tempted.Stefan: No, your not. You've had life times to do it and yet, here I am. I'm still alive and there you are. Your still haunting me after 145 years. Katherine is dead and you hate me because you loved her and you torture me because you still so. And that, my brother, is your humanity.[edit]Family Ties [1.04]Damon: I just wanna let you know they caught the culprit. The animal responsible for killing coach Tanner and all those people.Stefan: What are you talking about?Damon: It was a mountain lion... really big one. It attacked a hunter this morning. It’s all over the news: “Deadly beast captured. All is well in Mystic Falls.”Damon: What's so special about this Bella girl anyway? Edward's so wipped.Caroline: You have to read the first book first, otherwise it won't make sense.Damon: Uh, I miss Ann Rice, she was so on it.Caroline: Hey, how come you don't sparkle?Damon: Because I live in the real world where vampires burn in the sun.Caroline: Yeah, but you go in the sun.Damon: I have a ring, it protects me. Long story.Caroline: Are these bites going to turn me into a vampire?Damon: It’s more complicated than that. You have to feed on my blood then die, then feed on a human, it’s a whole ordeal. This book, by the way, has it all wrong.Stefan: Can’t touch her [Elena] now.Damon: Well, the Vervain keeps me out of her head.. maybe that’s not my target. Believe it or not, Stefan, some girls don’t need my persuasion. Some girls just can’t resist my good looks, my style and my charm... and my unflinching ability to listen to Taylor Swift.Damon: [after Stefan stabbed him through the t-shirt] This is John Varvatos, dude. Dick move.Damon: I like being the eternal stud.Stefan: Yes being a one hundred and fifty year old teenager has been the height of My happiness.Damon: I'm not some drunk sorority chick. You can't roofie me.Damon: I'm going to have to go to the party upset. Who knows what I'll do?Stefan: (to himself) The real animal is still out there. Waiting for me, challenging me to fight back to stop him. But how do I stop the monster without becoming one myself?Logan: I know you. You have a lot more insults in you, I can tell.Jenna: Your hairline’s receding.Logan: No, it’s not. You wanna have lunch?Jenna: Nope.Logan: You haven’t changed a bit.Jenna: Oh, yes I have. I’m meaner now.Caroline: (about Stefan and Elena) They look.. so.. cute together.Damon: Don’t talk, please…Elena: Look, you’re the mystery guy and I like that. But with mystery comes secrets.. and this thing with Katherine…Stefan: You know, let it go. I don’t wanna talk about it.Elena: Well, then say something about yourself.. anything. Otherwise, I’m left with nothing but what other people tell me.Stefan: Look, there are things that you don’t know, okay? Things that I want to tell you but I can’t, and I may never be able to.. and I just need you to trust me.Elena: Trust is earned. I can’t just magically hand it over.Stefan: I did what I had to do.. to protect Elena.. to protect everyone. Yes, Damon, the headline reads: “Deadly beast captured. All is well in Mystic Falls.”[edit]You're Undead To Me [1.05]Elena: Jenna, are you aware of what’s going on upstairs?Jenna: Uhuh…Elena: And... you have no objection?Jenna: He [Jeremy] could be craftier about it. At least make an effort to sneak her. [Vicki] in and out.Jenna: Have you called him [Stefan]?Elena: Nope, not going to either.Jenna: And you’re okay with everything?Elena: No, I’m not okay with any of it. I’m not gonna cry about it either. Honestly, I’m not gonna be one of those pathetic girls whose world stops spinning because of some guy.Zach: You appear unannounced, reminding me that this isn’t my house, that you’re just permitting me to live here. Hell, that you’re permitting me to live.Damon: Someone had to mow the lawn.Elena: I think there’s something that he doesn’t want me to know which... makes me wanna know all the more.Matt: Like what? Like that he’s a serial killer and he keeps a clown suit in his trunk?Stefan: Talk to who? I'm so sorry that I'm late.Elena: What happened?Stefan: I got held up.Elena: Is everything okay?Stefan: There’s this thing with my uncle.Elena: And you couldn't call and tell me you’re going to be an hour late.Stefan: I’m really sorry. It was unavoidable.Elena: What was unavoidable? (Stefan looks down) Okay.Stefan: No. Er. Elena please.Elena: No, Stefan don't you get it every question gets a vague non-answer. What is so awful that your afraid to tell me?Stefan Hey, can I take you home. And, and we can talk about all this. Is that okay?Elena: Wait, what was that?Stefan: I, I, Dunno. Nothing.Elena: Right. Nothing. Okay am I gotta go Stefan.Stefan: (to Elena) You wanna know me, right? Well, I figure if you’re gonna dump me, you should at least... uhmm... know who you’re dumping.Stefan: I do know that I did some things that.. I’m not proud of. And my biggest regret.. is not being able to make it right before she died.Stefan: You know what? I even like that one Miley song. Easy…Elena: I didn’t say anything.Elena: Uhmm.. I think that my paranoia has turned into full blown hallucinations.Stefan: Part of your charm.Logan: (to Elena) Hi.. Elena, right? I think I met you once when you were nine.Jenna: Your emotional maturity level.. when we were together.Logan: Ouch! And here I thought we’re making progress.Logan: Wait.. One condition. Dinner, tonight, your house.Jenna: Fine.. but you’re eating leftovers.Logan: Oooh…Matt: (to Stefan) Hey.. I’m not saying this for you, I’m saying it for her [Elena]. But, she’s big on trust. So, whatever you’re holding back from her, the more you try to hide it, the more she won’t stop ’til she figures it out.Sheriff Forbes: Honey, are you okay? Anything you wanna talk about? Is it a boy thing???Caroline: Mom, if I wanna talk boys, I’ll call dad. At least he’s successfully dating one.Elena: Dear Diary, I’m not a believer. People are born, they grow old and then they die. That’s the world we live in. There’s no magic, no mysticism, no immortality. There is nothing that defies rational thought. It’s not possible. I’m not a believer, I can’t be. But how can I deny what’s right in front of me? Someone who never grows old.. never gets hurt.. someone who changes in ways that can’t be explained. Girls bitten.. bodies drained of blood..Elena: (to Stefan) What are you ?[edit]Lost Girls [1.06]Elena: What are you?Stefan: You know.Elena: No. I don't.Stefan: Yes, you do, or you wouldn't be here.Elena: It's not possible. It can't be.Stefan: Everything you know, and every belief that you have is about to change. Are you ready for that?Elena: What are you?Stefan: [pause] I'm a vampire.Elena: I shouldn't have come.Stefan: No....please...pleaseElena: No! [Turns and runs towards her car]........How did you do that?Stefan: Please don't be afraid of me.Stefan: I’ll explain everything to you but I beg you, Elena.. do not tell anybody.Elena: How can you ask me that?Stefan: Because you knowing this is dangerous! For so many reasons. You can hate me.. but I need you to trust me.Elena: Just go.. just go, please.. go. If you mean me no harm then you’ll go.Stefan: I never wanted this.Damon: Where are you, Stefan? I’m trapped, at the house, and I’m getting really bored and really impatient and I don’t do bored and impatient.Damon: I want my ring.Stefan: Where are you you?Damon: I'm at the sizzler. I had the buffet. Where's my ring?Stefan: I don't have it. Where are you? What have you done?Damon: Nooo, what have YOU done? Your the one that locked me in the basement and starved me so whatever I've done... whoever I've sucked dry is on you buddy.Stefan: You're being careless. How many more animal attacks is this town gonna believe huh?Damon: I know how to cover my tracks Stefan! Where's my ring?!Stefan: I gave it to Zach to hide. You probably shouldn't have killed him.Damon: Ahhh, you almost got me. Where is it?Stefan: I'll get it back. But I need time.Damon: What.. did you Fed-Ex it to Rome?! Where is it?! I want my ring, Stefan.. or my next stop’s Elena’s.Stefan: I already want you dead, don’t give me another reason to make it happen.Damon: Don’t give me another reason to rip you apart.Stefan: Yeah? Is that gonna be before or after you get your ring back?Damon: Just get it…Stefan: Elena.. give me today. I will answer any questions that you have, and when it’s over, you can decide for yourself what you wanna do with what you know. It’ll be your choice.Elena: What are we doing here?Stefan: I wanna show you something.Elena: In the middle of nowhere???Stefan: This.. didn’t use to be nowhere. This used to be my home.Stefan: What Damon wants, Damon usually gets.Elena: So how...?Stefan: I've been 17 years old since 1864.Stefan: That's the thing about Damon. He doesn't get mad. He just gets even.Elena: You knew Katherine in 1864? Damon made it seem like...Stefan: Damon was trying to make you think that I was still heart-broken. He saw that I was happy with you and he wanted to ruin it.Elena: All because you loved the same woman, a hundred and... forty-five years ago ?Stefan: That necklace.. contains an herb called Vervain. It protects you from being compelled. I wanted to protect you from Damon’s influence. But I also wanted to protect you from me.Vicki: Don't you wanna be in love?Damon: I've been in love. It's painful, pointless and overrated.Damon: No more talking. Let's dance!Damon: I think I know what can help you.Vicki: What’s that?Damon: Death.Stefan: Right now, she doesn’t remember anything, a part of her’s still human. Slowly, the deeper she gets into the transition, the memories will start to come back, and then she’ll know she has to make the choice.Elena: The same choice you made?Damon: May I come in? Oh wait, of course I can, I’ve been invited.Damon: I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess, Stefan finally fessed up.Damon: Don’t look at me with those judgey little eyes. That girl is gonna thank me for what I did to her.Elena: Did you thank Katherine?Damon: Got the whole life story, huh?Elena: I got enough.Damon: Oh, I doubt that.Damon: Tip for later; be careful who you invite in the houseDamon: (when Logan tried to kill Stefan and Damon saved him) If anyone’s gonna kill you it’s gonna be me.Stefan: I’ll take care of it.. I’ll find her and I will show her that she can live like I do, I’m gonna make sure that she does not hurt anybody, Elena, I promise you…Elena: What do I tell my brother, and.. and Matt?!Stefan: We’ll come up with a story.Elena: You mean we’ll come up with a lie?Stefan: I’m so.. sorry…Elena: I gave you today just like you asked. And I understand that you would never do anything to hurt me and I promise I will keep your secret but.. I can’t be with you, Stefan. I’m sorry I.. I just can’t.[edit]Haunted [1.07]Damon: You... don’t talk.Tyler: Screw you, dude!Damon: Dude??? Really?.. Dude???Elena: You shouldn’t skip school. If they find her [Vicki] we’ll know. That’s what cellphones are for.Jeremy: Your lips keep moving, I don't know why.Vicki: What is it?Stefan: It’s what you’re craving.Damon: Huh! Don’t lie to the girl. It’s so not what you’re craving but it’ll do in a pinch. Right, Stef?Vicki: What is it???Damon: Yeah, what is it? Is it skunk? St. Bernard? Bambi???Damon: Don’t listen to him [Stefan]. He walks in a moral plane way out of our eye line. I say.. snatch, eat, erase…Stefan: We choose our own path. Our values and our actions, they define who we are.Damon: Okay.. Count Deepak! I am outta here.Elena: Is Stefan here?Damon: Yup.Elena: Where is he?Damon: And good morning to you, little miss ‘I’m on a mission’.Elena: How can you be so arrogant and glib after everything that you’ve done?Damon: And how can you be so brave and stupid to call a vampire arrogant and glib?Elena: If you wanted me dead, I'd be dead.Damon: Yes, you would.Elena: But I’m not.Damon: Yet.Elena: Where is Stefan?Damon: He's upstairs. Singing "The Rain In Spain". Knock yourself out.Vicki: This daylight thing is a bitch! I need more blood!.. Where’s your bathroom? I have to pee.. Why do I have to pee I thought I was dead???Vicki: You did this to me out of boredom???Damon: It’s one of the pitfalls of eternity.Vicki: Now I’m bored!Damon: Well, your life was pathetic, your afterlife doesn’t have to be.Stefan: She [Vicki] could hurt someone.Damon: I’m not taking her to Disneyland. We’re going to the front yard.Damon: Come on, Vicki... Live a little... No pun intended.Elena: People die around you. How could it not matter?! It matters and you know it…Damon: You confuse me with someone with remorse.Jeremy: Why does everybody have to die on me?Elena: Are you okay?Stefan: I, uh…I wanted to help her. But instead, uh… How’s he doing?Elena: He’s a mess. I don’t want him going through this again. He’s just a kid.Stefan: Elena, what can I do? What can I do to help? I’ll do anything.Elena: Can you make him forget?Stefan: Elena...Elena: Stefan, please. I don’t know how he’ll ever get past this. I just want him to forget everything that happened.Stefan: If I did it there’s no guarantee that it will work…because of who I am, because of how I live. I don’t have the ability to do it right.Damon: I can do it. If this is what you want…I’ll do it.Elena: It’s what I want.Damon: What do you want him to know?Elena: I want you to tell him that Vicki left town. And she’s not coming back, that he shouldn’t look for her or worry about her. He’s gonna miss her, but he knows it’s for the best.(Damon walks in the house. Elena sits by Stefan)Elena: Part of me wants to forget, too. Forget meeting you, finding out what you are and everything that happened since.Stefan: If that’s what you want.Elena: Yes, it is. Because I don’t want it to be like this. I don’t wanna feel like this. But I can’t. With everything that happened... I can’t lose the way I feel about you.(Damon walks out of the house. Elena looks at him)Damon: It’s done.[edit]162 Candles [1.08]Lexi: Well let’s hope she’s [Elena] better than the last girl you got a sprung over.Stefan: You didn’t even know Katherine.Lexi: ‘Cause if I did I’d kick her ass.. old bitch. Speaking of.. where’s Damon???Stefan: Inflicting misery somewhere.Stefan: Katherine and Elena may look the same on the outside, but on the inside they are completely different.Lexi: Oh.. so Elena’s not a raging bitch then, huh?Lexi: So.. this Elena girl. She’ll come around, I’m sure of it. Have you had sex yet???Stefan: No…Lexi: Sex always works. I mean, you’ll rock her world so hard with your vamp sex she’ll be yours forever.Stefan: Well, you see this isn’t about.. sex or.. or compulsion or any of our other tricks. She has to want to be with me on her own terms.Lexi: Wow.. that’s sounded all mature and grown up.Stefan: Well, I’m not getting any older.(...)Stefan: Elena is warm and kind and caring and selfless and it's real. When I'm around her, I completely forget where I am.Lexi: Oh my God… You’re in love with her.Stefan: Yup… Yeah I am…Lexi: Wow…Damon: Hello Lexi.. what an unexpected surprise.Lexi: Unexpected surprise? I think the wrong brother went back to high school.Damon: Aww… You mean you didn’t come all this way to see me?Lexi: That’s it, Damon. After a century, I finally realize death means nothing without you. Do me.Damon: Why are you so mean to me?Lexi: Uh, have you met you? You’re not a nice person.Damon: Well, because I’m a vampire.Lexi: But you’re only the bad parts.Jeremy: Want to keep it down over there?Jenna: Why, what are you doing?Jeremy: Homework.Elena: Since when do you do homework?Jeremy: I got to finish this, I'm way behind and I have a quiz tomorrow so.Elena: What do you think..Alien?Jenna: Some sort of replicate.Jeremy: He can hear you.Caroline: Well are you having a good time?Damon: Do you have my crystal???Caroline: No…Damon: Then I’m not having a good time.Stefan: (to Lexi) awkwardly dancing Just do me a favor… Tell me if you see Damon with his camera phone.Damon: Stefan smiles… Alert the media!Elena: You haven’t given him a lot of reasons to be happy lately.Damon: Does he get tired? Being so righteous?Elena: smirks It flares up in the presence of psychopaths.Damon: Ouch! Well consider this psychopath’s feeling hurt.Elena: What did you do to my brother?Damon: I’mma need a less vague question…Lexi: Ah. The famous Elena.Elena: Towel girl.Lexi: I've been called worse. Here.[Lexi hands Elena a shot of alcohol]Elena: I didn't know that you guys could drink.Lexi: Oh, yeah. It helps curb the cravings. But... makes for a lot of lushy vamps.Elena: You know, I've never seen Stefan drunk. He always seems so...Lexi: Uptight?Elena: Yeah.Lexi: Yeah.Elena: But not with you.Lexi: Well, that's the benefit of knowing someone for over a hundred years. You can just be yourself.Elena: Yeah, he can't be himself with me.Lexi: Well, not yet. The first step was him telling you. The rest comes with time.Elena: You seem so sure.Lexi: The love of my life was human. He went through what I imagine you're going through: denial, anger, et cetera. But at the end of the day, love really did conquer all.Elena: I’m scared…Lexi: But you’re here. ‘Cause you’re crazy about him. I get, okay? I mean.. what’s not to love?Lexi: When it’s real, you can’t walk away.Stefan: Thank you.Lexi: You weren't supposed to be listening. [pause] I was feeling epic. Whatever.Stefan: You came…Elena: I couldn’t miss your hundredth and.. whatever birthday.Caroline: Am I shallow?Matt: Is that a trick question?Caroline: I don't mean to be. Yeah, I wanna be deep. I wanna be like... the abyss deep.Matt: No offense, Car but... deep's really not your scene.Caroline: It's true. I’m shallow. I am worst than shallow. I’m a kiddie pool.Damon: I have a diabolical master plan.Lexi: What is it?Damon: Well if I told you it wouldn’t be very diabolical now, would it?Elena: Stefan, Stefan….Stefan: He killed her. He killed Zach. He killed Tanner. He turned Vicki. I have to kill him.Elena: No. You can't do that.Stefan: Why are you trying to save him? He's never gonna change. Don't you see that? He's never gonna change.Elena: I'm not trying to save him. I'm trying to save you. You have no idea what this will do to you. Please, Stefan.Stefan: Everywhere that I go, pain and death follow. Damon follows me. No more.Elena: Please. Please, just talk to me. Let me be here for you. Talk to me.Stefan: You were right to stay away from me.Damon: Come on. I did this for you to get them off our trail.Stefan: You never do anything for anyone but yourself.Damon: You missed.Stefan: You saved my life. I'm sparing yours. We're even. And now we're done.Damon: Rise and shine! You’ll be late for school!Stefan: What are you -- what are you doing?Damon: Peace offering. (Lifts a cup) C'mon, you need it for blood circulation. It does dead flesh good.(Stefan looks at him in silence)
Damon: Alright, I’m sorry.Stefan: Step aside, please.Damon: I got the town off our back. It was for the greater good -- but I’m sorry. And to prove it, I’m not going to feed on a human. For at least a ... week. I’ll adopt the Stefan diet. Only nothing with feathers.Stefan: (Mimicking Damon) Because I realize that killing your closest and oldest friend is beyond evil, and yet, somehow, it’s worthy of humor.Damon: Are you mimicking me?Stefan: (Mimicking Damon) Yes, Stefan. Now that the secret society of vampire haters is off our back, I can go back to my routine of how can I destroy Stefan’s life this week.Damon: (Mimicking Stefan) And I can go back to sulking and Elena-longing and forehead-brooding. (In his own voice) This is fun. I like this.Stefan: (Mimicking Damon) And I, will finally reveal the ulterior motive behind my evil and diabolical return to Mystic Falls.Damon:(Pause) Yeah. I’m done. (Mimicking Stefan). This is so like you Damon -- always have to have the last word.[edit]History Repeating [1.09]Matt: Hey.Caroline: Hey. What is that?Matt: What is what?Caroline: The "hey". That is twice. That is two heys. That's....do you have any other words in your vocabulary?Matt: What's wrong with hey?Caroline: It reeks of awkward subtext. You just spent the night in my bed. There was cuddling, then you snuck out before dawn so you wouldn't have to face me. Which I must say, is a total lame guy move. Which I did not appreciate. Now with the heys? Seriously? I mean, I may have been some pathetic, insecure mess after the party, but do not mistake that for me being a pushover. Because I do not let guys mess with my head anymore.Matt: I heard your mom in the morning. I didn't want to get you in trouble, so I went out the window.Caroline: You went out the window? Well another lame guy move.Matt: Your mom's a sheriff. And as for the heys, I'm pretty sure it's what I've said to you every day since the first grade.Caroline: Oh.Matt: Trying to read something into it, lame girl moveElena: I'm sorry Stefan, I thought that... I couldn't be with you but I can. You don't have to push me away - I can do this.Stefan: I can't. I, uh, I have to leave Elena. Too many people died. Too much has happened.Elena: What? No, I know you think you're protecting me but...Stefan: Elena, I have to. Coming back was... It was a mistake. I can't be a part of your life anymore.Elena: Don't go, Stefan. Please... You don't have to. This is your home, you just... Please don't go.Stefan: (after kissing Elena's hand) Goodbye Elena. (Turning his back and leaving, still in the woods)Elena: You're just gonna walk away? Don't walk away, Stefan. Stefan![edit]The Turning Points [1.10]Logan: See I know what you and your brother are. I've been watching the two of you. I knew you'd show up here. And I'm glad you did. Because I've some questions.Damon: Me first. Who turned you?Logan: How should I know? Last thing I remember is I'm about to stake your brother and then you grabbed me. That's it. Until I wake up in the ground behind a used car dealership on Highway 4. Somebody buried me.Damon: It happens.Logan: You bit me. It had to be you.Damon: You have to have vampire blood in your system, when you die. I didn't do that. Some other vampire found you. Gave you their blood.Logan: Who?Damon: That's what I wanna know.Logan: Dude! It's not like the welcome wagon was waiting with a bunk cake and a handbook. It's been a learn as you go process. One minute, I'm a small town, on the rise news guy, and the next thing I know, I can't get inside my house because my foot won't go through the door.Damon: You have to be invited in.Logan: I know. I live alone.Damon: Oh, that sucks.Elena: I'm guessing you're not here to plan path for your future. You're looking out for me.Stefan: Hope that's okay. (After a little while) You know I, uh, I wanted to be a doctor before everything happened. But I couldn't, this...Elena: The blood?Stefan: Yeah. I've dabbled in bunch of different things, though.Elena: Didn't love anything enough to stick to it?Stefan: No, I've loved it all, I just... I had to move on before anybody could notice that, I wasn't... Getting any older.Elena: How long before that would happen?Stefan: Few years usually. Sometimes shorter.Elena: And you always left?Stefan: I didn't have a choice. So! What about, what about you? What are your plans for the future?Elena: I don't want to talk about my future, Stefan. Because everything you're saying is making perfectly clear that you're not gonna be in it.Stefan: No, Elena, it's not that I don't want to be, it's...Elena: You can't, I get it. I heard you the first time, and the second time. And I appreciate you looking out for me, but, please, if you're gonna leave, then just go.Elena: What I said earlier, about you leaving... It was harsh.Stefan: No, no, you... You had every right.Elena: You asked me what I wanted my future to be. I wanted to be a writer. My mom sort of... pushed me into that direction from the time I was able to read. She supported me, encouraged me, bought me my first journal... and then she died. And I can't see myself being a writer any more. That was something that we shared. I know that you think that you brought all of this bad stuff into my life, but my life already had it. I was buried in it.Stefan: This is different.Elena: It doesn't make it any less painful.Stefan: I know that it's... That it's hard to understand, but I'm doing this for you. (Gets out of the car, leaving Elena inside)Elena: (Thinks, and gets out of the car, with a determined face) No. You don't get to make that decision for me. If you walk away, it's for you because I know what I want. Stefan I love you.[edit]Bloodlines [1.11]Damon: Good morning.Elena: Where are we?Damon: Georgia.Elena: Georgia? No. No, were not, Seriously, Damon, where are we?Damon: Seriously, we're, we're in Georgia.Damon: How are you feeling?Elena: I... I...Damon: There are no broken bones, I checked.Elena: My car... There was a man... I hit a man, but then he got up and... who was that?Damon: That's what I would like to know.Elena: Where is my phone? Okay, we really need to go back, nobody knows where I am. Pull over. I mean it Damon, pull over. Stop the car.Damon: Oh, you were so much more fun when you were asleep. (stops the car)Elena: [gets out of the car]Damon: [helps her]Elena: I'm fine... We have to go back.Damon: Oh, come on. We've already come this far.Elena: Why are you doing this? I can't be in Georgia. I... I wrecked my car. I have to go home. This is kidnapping.Damon: That’s a little melodramatic, don’t you think? [smiles]Elena: You're not funny. You can't do this. I'm not going to Georgia.Damon: Well you're in Georgia. [smiles] Without your magical necklace, I might add. I can very easily make you... agreeable. [smiles]Elena: What are you trying to prove?[Elena's phone rings]Elena: That’s my phone.Damon: Mmm... [looks at the phone] It's your boyfriend...[holds the phone out to her] I'll take it. [Answers] Elena's phone...Stefan: Where is she? Why do you have her phone? Is she okay?Damon: Elena? Yeah, she's right here. And, yes, she's fine.Stefan: Where are you? Let me talk to her.Damon: [to Elena] He wants to talk to you.Elena: Mm [shakes her head saying no]Damon: [to Stefan] Yeah, I, uh, I don't think she really wants to talk to you right now.Stefan: Damon, I swear to God if you touch her... [Interrupted by Damon]Damon: You have a good day, bye now...Elena: Look, no one knows where I am. Can we please just go back?Damon: We’re almost there.Elena: Where is there?Damon: It’s a little place, right outside of Atlanta. Oh, come on, Elena. You don’t want to go back right now do you? What’s the rush? Time-out. Trust me, the problem is still going to be there when you come home. Look, step away from your life, for 5 minutes. 5 minutes.Elena: Am I going to be safe with you?Damon: Yes.Elena: You promise not to do that mind-control-thing with me?Damon: Yes.Elena: Can I trust you?Damon: Get in the car. Come on.Elena: What about that man in the road? Was he a-?Damon: From what I can tell... yeah.Elena: You didn't know him?Damon: If I've never meet him, I wouldn't know him. It's not like we all hang out at the vamp bar and grill.Damon: Vampires can't procreate. But we love to try.Elena: Aw, do you need a bib?Damon: Sorry. I can't unhinge my jaw like a snake to consume alcohol.Elena: So, why did you bring me with you?Damon: Well, you're not the worst company in the world Elena. You should give yourself more credit.Elena: Seriously?Damon: You know, you were there in the road, all damsel in distress like. And I knew it'd piss off Stefan. And...you're not the worst company in the world Elena.Elena: I use to be more fun.Damon: You did okay.Elena: I saved your life.Damon: I know.Elena: And don't you forget it.[edit]Unpleasantville [1.12]Alaric: First person account of the Civil War? That's like porn for a history teacher.Bonnie: Which is why you should ask Jenna. First of all, the Elena I know, would always want the real truth. Good or bad.Elena: And second of all?Bonnie: You just found out that your boyfriend is a vampire. So unless your parents are aliens, how bad can it be?Bonnie: You tried to kill me.Damon: But I didn't. And if I wanted to, I would have. Does that not count for anything?Jeremy: I'm stuck on punch duty at the school dance.Anna: How'd you get stuck with that?Jeremy: I'm failing English- I copped a plea.Alaric: Can I get you a drink? I hear the punch is real... boss.Damon: Elena, would you like to dance?Elena: I would love to. (to Stefan) May I have this dance?Elena: [to Stefan] You are so teaching me how to hand-jive.Bonnie: Don't rain on my hot guy parade.Caroline: It's just a drizzle.Stefan: Now you remember that. Because it's never happening again.[edit]Children of the Damned [1.13][Stefan and Elena are in bed, holding each other. It's morning time.]
Elena: Good morning.Stefan: I could get used to this.Damon: Rise and shine, sleepy-heads!Stefan: What are you doing?!Elena: Damon, please!Damon: Oh, please, stop being smutty.Stefan: Seriously, get out of here.Damon: If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it. Now listen. Here's some very important business to discuss.Elena: And it has to be right now?Damon: We have lots to do, now that we're all friends and working towards a common goal. So, in order to open the tomb, we need to find the journal, to get the grimoire, to undo the spell. So, first things first, since you are Elena Gilbert, you're on journal duty.Elena: Since when am I helping?Damon: Well, Stefan's helping, and you've taken up residence in Stefan's bed, ergo...Stefan: You don't have to anything you don't want to do.Elena: I'll look for it today.Damon: Good.Stefan: How do we know that this journal will hold the location of the grimoire? Are we really gonna take the word of this vampire? He seemed like a bit of a dimwit.Damon: In lieu of any other options.Elena: Okay, what exactly is a grimoire, anyway?Damon: It's a witch's cookbook.Stefan: Every spell that a witch casts is unique unto itself, so every witch would document their work...Damon: Yeah. Cookbook.Stefan: What about our mystery vampire? 'Dimwit' obviously wasn't working alone. So, whoever's out there knows who we are.Damon: And I don't like that disadvantage. So. Chop chop! You know, I'm really liking this whole ménage threesome team thing. It's got a bit of a kink to it. Don't screw it up...Anna: Hey, it's me again. Anna. Stalker chick and foosball champion.Damon: Is she hot?Jeremy: Yeah, but she can be weird.Damon: Hot trumps weird. Trust me.Jenna: [About Damon] He is ridiculously hot!Elena: Shh! He's an ass.[Damon rolls his eyes]Stefan: You met Damon.Alaric: Who do you think killed my wife?[edit]Fool Me Once [1.14]Stefan: Anna took Elena.Damon: Yeah, I got that from your 600 voice mails.Stefan: What if your blood hasn't passed out of her system?Damon: Well, I guess you will see her again.Stefan: Please what do you know? You were with Anna - you must know where she's living. Just tell me where I can find her.Damon: No. You can go now.Stefan: [to Damon] All I can remember is hating you. There may been a time when that was different, but your choices have erased anything good about you. I also know that you have just as much reason to hate me. This all began with me. Katherine got taken away from you because of me... and I'm sorry.Damon: I mean this sincerely: I hope Elena dies.Elena: Do you really want Katherine out that bad?Anna: Trust me, nobody that I know wants to see that girl again, except Damon, the love-struck idiot.Damon: Stefan will come after you, you know that. For messing with Elena.Anna: Oh my god, it's like 1864 all over again. You Salvatores are truly pathetic when it comes to women.Stefan: Now we have to make Damon agree.Elena: He already agreed once.Stefan: Yes, and then we double-crossed him. So now he's angry.Elena: He's hurt. There's a difference.Damon: Fool me once, shame on you.Elena: Okay, when we were in Atlanta, why didn't you use your compulsion on me?Damon: Who says I didn't?Elena: You didn't. I know you didn't. But you could have. You and I... we have something... an understanding, and I know that my betrayal hurt you, different than when it comes from Stefan, but I'm promising that I will help you get Katherine back.Damon: I wish I can believe you.Elena: [removing her Vervain necklace] Ask me if I'm lying now.Damon: [placing her necklace back] I didn't compel you in Atlanta because we're having fun... I wanted it to be real. I'm trusting you - don't make me regret it.Damon: [greeting Stefan, Bonnie, and Sheila] Brother, witches...Anna: She knew where you were, Damon. She didn't care!Damon: She's not here.. She's not here she has to be here.Stefan: What?Damon: [Throws blood packet at wall] SHE'S NOT HERE!!!!Elena: You have to come now they can't keep it open much longer. Damon, please.[edit]A Few Good Men [1.15]Damon: [after a light goes on] No, buzzkill bob!Damon: Relax. I haven't killed anyone... in too long.Kelly Donovan: Oh god. Not on my couch.Damon: Don't you have some papers to grade?Alaric: It's, uh... more fun with a buzz.Damon: Well, most things are. Sober is... depressing.Alaric: You have a good afternoon.Damon: Not likely.Damon: You know... a room full of woman clamoring to win a date with me... sounds tasty.Elena: Stefan?Damon: Better. Me.Elena: You look, uh...Damon: Dashing? Gorgeous? Irresistible?Elena: Wrecked. You look wrecked.Elena: So... I found out who my birth mother is.Damon: Uggh, who cares? [Elena looks at him] She left you. She sucks.Elena: He's fine.Stefan: He's Damon.Elena: Maybe this heartache will be good for him. It reminds him that he has one, even if it doesn't beat.Carol Lockwood: And last but not least: Damon Salvatore... We don't have much on you.Damon: Well, I'm tough to fit in a card.Stefan: Elena...Elena: He killed her? Damon was the vampire that killed her?Stefan: I don't know what happened. Alaric said that they never found the body.Elena: Oh my god, Stefan...Stefan: I know. I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you, but I just... I wanted to know more.Elena: I was feeling sorry for him, hoping that this whole Katherine thing would change him... I'm so stupid.Stefan: He doesn't know about the connection to you. I thought about confronting him, but he's really...Elena: Why are you protecting him?!Stefan: Because you're not the only one hoping that he might actually change.Damon: [after Elena collides with him] Uh-oh, easy there, buy a ticket like everyone else.Damon: We're kindred spirits, abandoned by the women we love. Unrequited love sucks.Stefan: What happened? What did you do?Damon: Do what? He attacked me. I only told him the truth, his wife didn't want him anymore. Isn't my fault he couldn't... handle it.Stefan: Like you've been handling Katherine?Damon: I'm handling it fine. You know what? Isobel came to me, she found me, and if she's related to Elena, that means she's related to Katherine... Maybe Katherine sent her to me.[edit]There Goes the Neighborhood [1.16]Anna (talking to newly released vampires): There are over one hundred and fifty channels. It's called a remote control.Stefan: Have you thought any more about what you're going to do?Elena: About what? Isobel, my vampire birth mother, who's related to my vampire ancestor Katherine, who screwed over your vampire brother? Nah,... I haven't thought about it at all.Stefan: I'm sorry I brought it up.Elena: It'd just be nice if we could get through one day without having to deal with any of it. No vampire mother, or brother.Stefan: No vampires at all?Elena: No vampires, but you.Matt: We can watch a movie at my place.Caroline: With your mom and a six pack?Matt: You know... You don't really help the situation. You could always try to be nice.Caroline: Oh, I'm sorry. It's hard for me to show kindness to people that hate me. I'm not that evolved.Pearl (talking to Harper): The keypad is for texting, which is what you do when you want to avoid talking to someone.Damon: What exactly are you trying to achieve?Pearl: Mystic Falls is our home, Damon. They took that from us. Our land, our home. It's time we rebuild.Damon: What are you crazy? It was 1864. Wake up, woman. The world has moved on.(after gouging Damon's eyes out, leaving him helpless on the floor)Pearl: I have four hundred years on you, little boy. I'll rip you from limb to limb without even blinking and you know it.Elena: Have you ever even been on a double date before?Stefan: Oh, absolutely. '72, Hef and the twins.Elena: What?Stefan: Yeah... playmates. I got Miss June.Jenna: Don't be grumpy. It can't be that bad.Damon: You'd be surprised. My primary reason for existence has abandoned me and after today's events, the remains of the shaky ground that I walk on are about to go kaboom. Let's get hammered.Jenna: Hide. We're not here.Kelly: Why? Where'd we go?Jenna: Children under our care. Five o'clock.Matt: Is there anything you're not good at?Stefan: Double dating. This is all kind of new to me. I usually keep to myself. I don't always fit in.Matt: That's because you're that guy.Stefan: What guy?Matt: The guy who seems like he has everything, so the people that don't kind of run the other way.Stefan: Is that what I seem like?Matt: Pretty much.Stefan: Hmm... What a dick!Caroline (at the Salvatore boarding house): This is much better than watching Damon visit cougar town.Frederick: Vervain... making it hard to find something to eat in this town.Stefan: I remember them from 1864. They were in the tomb.Damon: Yeah... About that.Matt: Do you know what I was doing tonight, Mom? I was having fun, you know, trying to forget about all the crap that I have to deal with everyday. Just enjoying a night with my friends. And then, there you are, wasted at the bar - where I work, by the way, to pay the bills that you don't pay. And then you're off acting like a freakin' kid, hooking up with some guy half your age. I'm the kid, Mom. You're supposed to be responsible for me.Elena: How was your night?Jeremy: Ah... Same old. Same old... You?Elena: Yep.Anna: How did you know?Jeremy: I knew this girl. Vicki. She was attacked by an animal, a bite to the neck. She started acting crazy, weird, and it seemed like drugs, but then you showed me those articles. And then I saw your face and how it changed the night in the cemetery when I kissed you.Anna: You know you can't tell anyone, right?Jeremy: Who would believe me?Anna: You'd be surprised.Jeremy: Why didn't you kill me?Anna: I don't know. Maybe I'm a sucker for guys like you.Jeremy: Like what?Anna: Lost. Why would you confront me about it? Why would you risk it?Jeremy: Because if it was true, maybe it's true about Vicki. And also because I want you to turn me.[edit]Let The Right One In [1.17]Anna: I love storms.Jeremy: Is that a vampire thing? 'cause I read vampires don't like running water.Anna: It's only Dracula. He was a complete wuss. Never showered... very smelly.Jeremy: Seriously?Anna: First rule about vampires. Don't believe anything you read.Anna: I'm not gonna turn someone who learned everything he knows about vampires from Netflix.Pearl: [to Frederick] We cannot live our lives about revenge.Frederick: We should kill every last one of them.Pearl: We are smarter than that, Frederick. These people are not our enemies. We don't hold grudges and resentments. We'll get our town back. We just have to have patience.Frederick: You heard her.... No revenge.... Patience.... Self control. She seems to have it all figured out, doesn't she?Damon: I say we go to Pearl's and bust down the door and annihilate the idiot that attacked us last night.Stefan: And then what? We turn to the rest of the house of vampires and say, 'oops, sorry.'Elena: I can't believe you made a deal with her?Damon: It was more like a helpful exchange of information. It's not like I had a choice. She's... scary. Besides, she's gonna help me get Katherine back.Elena: Of course she is. Damon gets what he wants, as usual, no matter who he hurts in the process.Damon: Well, you don't have to be snarky about it.Elena: I woke up this morning to learn that all the vampires have been released from the tomb. I've earned snarky.Damon: Ah... How long are you going to blame me for turning your birth mother in to a vampire?Elena: I'm not blaming you, Damon. I've accepted the fact that you're a self serving psychopath with no redeeming qualities.Damon: Ouch.Stefan: This isn't being very productive. We're gonna figure out a way to deal with Pearl and the vampires, yeah?Elena: I'm sorry. He just makes me so cranky.Stefan: I know... He makes everybody cranky.Elena: So,.. What are we gonna do?Stefan: Damon and I are gonna handle everything. I promise.Elena: Well,.. What about me. I can't just sit here and do nothing.Stefan: That's exactly what you're gonna do because that's what's gonna keep you safe.Elena: Which means nothing if you're not safe too.Stefan: What do you mean? I'm perfectly safe. I have Damon, the self serving psychopath on my side.Elena: That's comforting.Jeremy: Does your mom know you're a...?Anna: The fact that you would even think it's possible to keep something like that, a secret from your own family is just further proof that you're not ready.Jeremy: 'Not ready' is a step up from 'no'.Anna: And a million steps down from 'maybe'.Matt: I yelled at my mom last night. You know, I feel like the parent with the screwed up kid.Caroline: Well, maybe she needed to hear it.Matt: Yeah, but I worry that if I push too hard then she'll take off again 'cuz that's her M.O. Just like Vicki, who I haven't heard from since she left.Caroline: Well, you can't control your mom, Matt, any more than you can control your sister.Matt: I wish that she would just try, a little, you know. If she would just try to try, that would be okay.Caroline: Maybe she'll surprise you. People have a tendency to do that. I should go before the roads get even worse from the storm.Matt: Are you sure that you should be driving right now?Caroline: I have to - it's my dad's boyfriend's daughter's birthday. We have a nontraditional traditional ritual.Matt: Well, buckle up.Damon: Hunting party?Stefan: That guy did a number on me last night when he stabbed me. I've got to get my strength back up.Damon: I have two liters of soccer mom in the fridge.. no?Stefan: We'll talk when I get back.Damon: All right... Give my regards to the squirrels.Damon: You're ignoring me.Elena: The six missed calls? Sorry. My phone's dead.Damon: Is Stefan here?Elena: No. Why? Is something wrong?Damon: He went out in to the woods and didn't come back. I can't get him on his phone. I figured he was here with you.Elena: It's going straight to voicemail. Where could he be?Damon: You're not gonna like what I'm thinking.Damon: Pearl. Open this door or I swear I'll bust through and rip your head off.Frederick: Pearl's not home. Mmm... Beautiful weather. Not a ray of sun in the sky.Damon: Where's my brother?Frederick: Billy. (Billy and another vampire are coming with Stefan.)Damon: You are dead...Frederick: I'm sorry you haven't been invited in. Miss Gibbons.Miss Gibbons: Yes, Frederick, honey.Frederick: Never let this bad man in.Miss Gibbons: I'll never let him in.Frederick: One hundred forty five years left starving in a tomb, thanks to Katherine's infatuation with you and your brother. First few weeks every single nerve in your body screams with fire... kind of pain that can drive a person mad. Well, I thought your brother might want to get a taste of that before I killed him. Billy! (Billy stakes Stefan in the abdomen, causing him to fall to his knees.) You have a nice day.Damon: Well, don't you look alive?Alaric: You can't hurt me.Damon: Oh, I can hurt you, all right.Elena: Mr. Saltzman, we need your help. Stefan's in the house; Damon's a vampire, he can't get in. We need you. I would go, but...Damon: But your life is valuable. Your's, on the other hand, is...Elena: Stefan told me about your ring.Alaric: What about it?Damon: Let me re-cap: You tried to kill me, I defended myself, you died, and - according to my brother - your ring brought you back to life. Am I leaving anything out?Alaric: Yeah... The part where I try and kill you again, only this time I don't miss.Elena: Mr. Saltzman... Please. It's Stefan.Alaric: I'm sorry, Elena. It's not my problem.Damon: That's a shame, 'cause the woman in charge of the crowd can help you find your wife.Alaric: You're lying.Damon: Am I? Why don't you ask her for yourself? Coward. Come on, Elena.Alaric: All right. Wait. I'll go.Jeremy: I wake up everyday and I feel okay. But there's something missing, like a hole. Some people, they fit in life or whatever. I don't.Anna: So you want a pity turn? I don't think so.Jeremy: You should turn me 'cause I don't have anything else.Anna: Do you even know why we turn other people? It's not just to give someone a one way ticket out of lonerhood, okay? One, we need someone to do our dirty work. Two, revenge. Three, boredom, but you know that never turns out well. And then, you know, there's the obvious one - you love someone so much that you would do anything to spend all of eternity with them. I'm sorry but you don't fit any of those categories yet.Tyler: Be more creepy, dad. Not like your son is standing right here.Mayor Lockwood: Grow up. Elections are coming. She's a constituent... and a rich one, from the looks of it.Tyler: And you can tell all that by looking at her ass... Awesome. I'm gonna go shoot some pool.Damon: Teacher by day, vampire hunter by night.Alaric: I have you to thank for that.Elena: Damon, now's not the time to be the Lone Ranger.Damon: Oh, I understand. He's the reason you live... His love lifts you up where you belong... I get it.Elena: Can you just not joke around for 2 seconds.Damon: Miss Gibbons, now tell me the truth. Are you married?Miss Gibbons: No.Damon: Parents? Children? Anyone else who lives on this property?Miss Gibbons: No, it's just me.Damon: No? Good. (Damon snaps Miss Gibbon's neck)Alaric: You were supposed to compel her!Damon: It doesn't work that way.Alaric: She's human.Damon: And I'm not, so I don't care! Now get out of here... and get rid of the body.Pearl: I'm in the process of obtaining some property. I understand that your family is the largest property owner in town.Mayor Lockwood: Well, yes we are... dating all the way back to the town's original charter.Pearl: Your family came in to a lot of new property in 1864.Mayor Lockwood: You know your history.Pearl: It's a passion of mine.Tyler: The guy's not even subtle about it.Matt: Who is that?Tyler: It's not my mother.Frederick: Billy, Jacob, get back in here.Stefan: Thank you... for trying to help me.Harper: They just needed somebody to blame, someone to punish.[Elena enters the room]Stefan: Elena. You shouldn't be here.Damon: [to Elena] You rescue, I'll distract. Go.Damon: How many of those Vervain darts do you have left?Alaric: One.Damon: Not gonna be enough.Alaric: What you said to get me to do this, about my wife, was a lie, wasn't it?Damon: Yep.Pearl (from outside): Stop. What's going on here? [Pearl enters the house, looks around and then at Damon] What did you do?Damon: Me? Your merry little band of vampires spent the day torturing my brother.Pearl: Trust me. The parties responsible for this will be dealt with.Damon: Our little arrangement doesn't work unless you learn to control them.Pearl: This wasn't supposed to happen.Damon: Well, it did. If I had a good side... not a way to get on it.Elena: How are you doing?Stefan: Ah, I'm okay. The wounds have mostly healed.Elena: Good.Stefan: Elena.Elena: Yeah.Stefan: What you did today, coming to help me... you could have been killed.Elena: I know.Stefan: And what I did... I'm sorry, I'm sorry that you had to see it.Elena: I've just never... You were like this other person, and it's my fault - I made you...Stefan: What? No, no, no, no. You didn't make me do anything. You were saving my life. And I was saving yours. Everything's gonna be okay.Damon: That was fun. Oh... Don't look at me like that. I know you hate me. Guess what? Everyone hates me. But you can't deny we were bad-ass.[edit]Under Control [1.18]Damon: Could you turn it up a little bit. It's not annoying... yet!Stefan: Sorry.Damon: When you going back to school?Stefan: Soon.Damon: Oh, come on... Just drink, already. Come on. This self-detox is not natural.Stefan: Could you get that away from me, please?Damon: How long did it take you to wean yourself off of it after you last indulged? [Stefan doesn't answer] That's not good.Stefan: I'll be fine. It just takes a little bit of time.Damon: I don't get it. You know you don't have to kill to survive. That's what blood banks are for. I haven't hunted a human in... God, way too long.Stefan: Oh, I'm impressed.Damon: It's completely self serving, trying to get the town off the trail of vampires. Which is not very easy, considering there's an entire tomb of them running around.Stefan: What are we planning on doing about that?Damon: You're not gonna be doing much of anything if you don't have your strength - there's nothing wrong with partaking in a healthy diet of human blood from a blood bank. You're not actually killing anyone.Stefan: I have my reasons.Damon: Well, what are those holier than thou reasons, because, you know, we've never actually discussed that. You know, I'd love to hear this story.Stefan: You're really enjoying this, aren't you? Just watching me struggle.Damon: Very much so.Stefan: I hate to break it to you, Damon, but I actually have it under complete control.Damon: You do? Oh, well, then you should just carry on making the rest of us vampires look bad. Have a great day, Stef... [Departs the room, leaving his glass of blood on a side table; Damon returns a moment later.] Oh, hey, almost forgot something... Oops.John: What's up with Jeremy?Jenna: He just lost a friend, so try to be sensitive.John: I'm always sensitive.Jenna: Right. So, really, how long are you staying?John: Can't you at least pretend that you're happy to see me?Jenna: [acting perky and excited] Oh my god! John, it is so good to see you! How have you been? [Drops the act] No, I can't.John: Did you really think I was gonna sign the escrow papers and send them back?Jenna: Actually, I did.John: I'm not gonna let you sell my brother's office.Jenna: It's not up to you or me - it belongs to Jeremy and Elena.John: They're minors, so I get the final say being that I'm the estate's trustee.Damon: He's a Gilbert?Sheriff Forbes: Elena's uncle. His name is John, but I call him jackass.John: The Gilberts have been a part of this town for 150 years. One of the founding families. Along with that distinction, comes certain obligations, including going to the party. One day, when you can appreciate the significance, I'll tell you all about your heritage.Jenna: Mmm... Gilbert family legacy. I forgot how sacred it was. I'm not a Gilbert, so I was never cool enough to hear it.Jeremy: Why does she hate you?John: We used to sleep together.Jenna: [throws food at him] I'm standing right here!Damon: Did you know that your uncle's been kickin' it with the Founder's Council?Elena: What?Damon: Yep.Elena: Perfect. We'll just add it to the growing list of how everything's falling apart.Damon: It is what it is, Elena. The Stefan you know is good behavior Stefan, reign it in Stefan, fight against this nature to an annoyingly obsessive level Stefan. But if you think there's not another part to this, than you have not been paying attention.Elena: He is not you. Not even close.Damon: Well, he's a wanna-be me. That doesn't mean deep down that he's not...Stefan: Oh God... I shouldn't be here.Damon: Come on. Don't be a downer. It's a party for the founding families: that would be us. It would be rude to skip it.Stefan: I really liked you a whole lot better when you hated everybody.Damon: Oh, I still do. I just love that they love me.Kelly Donovan: Well, I guess dead kid rates a special greeting from the mayor, huh?Stefan: Please dance with your alcoholic vampire boyfriend.Damon: Look at his right hand.Alaric: Who's?Damon: Town's favorite son. Look at his ring.Alaric: It looks like mine.Damon: Yeah... And that'd be a big coincidence if he didn't just come back from the dead five minutes ago. Where the hell did you get that ring?Alaric: Isobel, my wife.Damon: Who gave birth to Elena, under the medical care of the esteemed Dr. Grayson Gilbert... John's brother.Alaric: You think John knew Isobel?Damon: I think John knows a lot of things.Damon: Going somewhere?John: Never liked to be the last one to leave a party... It's too desperate. You gonna kill me again or you gonna let Mr. Saltzman do your dirty work?Alaric: Okay. You obviously know who I am.John: I do. Alaric Saltzman, the high school history teacher with a secret.Damon: You sure know a lot for someone who just got to town.John: More than you can imagine, Damon. My knowledge of this town goes beyond anything that you, or you, or the council, knows. So, if you were planning on some clever high speed snatch ring vamp kill move, know that if I die, everything I know goes to the council, including the fascinating little tale of the original Salvatore brothers and their present day return to Mystic Falls.Alaric: How did you get that ring?John: I inherited one. My brother, Gray, the other. This was his, although I wouldn't have given mine to Isobel had I known she'd hand it over to another guy.Damon: So you did know her?John: Who do you think sent her your way when she wanted to become a vampire?Damon: You sent her?John: Guilty. Why? Did you think someone else sent her? Maybe Katherine Pierce?Damon: How do you know about Katherine?John: How do I know anything, Damon?Damon: What do you want?John: So many questions. It's a pleasure meeting you, Ric. I've heard so much about you.Elena: Talk to me, Stefan. Tell me.Stefan: I tried so hard to keep it together tonight, and it was working. It was working. But then Matt's mom... she got hurt and she was bleeding and I had her blood on my hands.Elena: And then what happened?Stefan: The guy in the parking lot... I wanted to feed on him, and it took everything inside of me not to do it.Elena: But you didn't?Stefan: No, but I wanted to. Elena... my head is pounding. I feel like my skin is on fire. I have this hunger inside of me that I've never... I've never felt before in my entire life and I keep thinking about how I promised that I would never keep anything from you. So I'm telling you this.Elena: It's okay. I need you to tell me these things.Stefan: But I don't want you to see me like this. I don't want you to know that this side of me exists.Elena: Stefan, you're gonna get through this. I'm gonna help you pull through. It's gonna be okay. You're gonna be okay.Stefan: No, no, no, no. I'm sorry, honey. I can't. I'm afraid of what I could do to you.Elena: I'm not. Stefan... Stefan... I'm not. I'm not. Okay?Stefan: I love you so much!Elena: I love you, too.Damon: We have a problem, Stefan. And when I say problem, I mean global crisis. Seems Uncle John has a... [Damon looks up at Stefan who is swaying on his feet] You don't look so good... It's different this time, isn't it? The need is too strong. Of course, it would be after all these years. Have a good night brother. [Damon leaves his glass of blood on a sidetable][edit]Miss Mystic Falls [1.19]Stefan: I woke up this morning and I was feeling great and I figured it was time for me to get back in to things.Elena: Does that mean you're okay, now, with all the cravings?Stefan: Yeah. I mean, the worst part is over, so now all I want to do is spend as much time with you as possible!John: I think we'll make a good team. Don't you, Damon?Damon: John, whatever I can do to help keep this town safe... even if it means spending time with you.Alaric: This week we're gonna set aside our regular curriculum for a lesson in local history, as we approach Founder's Day. Apparently, the community leaders feel that's more important than World War II. But, hey, what do I know?Damon: You're playing house with half of a tomb of really pissed off vampires. What did you think was going to happen?Anna: My mom is devastated. They tried to overthrow her.Damon: Why isn't she here, telling me this?Anna: She doesn't really do apologies.Damon: Well, that's a coincidence, 'cause I don't do forgiveness.Stefan: You're making small talk. Why?Damon: You seem awfully chipper, lately... Less doom and gloom... A little more pep in your step!Damon: Stefan, let's be serious for a second. You spent the last century and a half being a poster child for Prozac, and now you expect me to believe that this new you has nothing to do with human blood... Nothing!Stefan: I'm clean.Damon: You're lying!Stefan: Believe what you want.Damon: Just remember, we're trying to keep a low profile. Why don't you just walk up to Sheriff Forbes and ask her to tap a vein?Stefan: Have my actions negatively impacted you? I can't imagine what that must feel like.Caroline: I'm on the M.F. beautification committee. I volunteer at the rec center soup kitchen.Elena: I recognize that I haven't been as involved, this year, as I used to be.Caroline: I implemented this year's Go Green campaign at school.Elena: I've been distracted and I let a lot of things slide.A Girl: I don't think it's wrong for me to win two years in a row.Amber Bradley: I was surprised to have been selected, since I'm not from one of the founding families.Elena: ... But I'm aware of what an honor this is, and I want you to know that I take it seriously.Caroline: ... worked with the county's recycling program and was in charge of the policemen's yearly raffle.Tina Fell: ... just because my D.U.I. made my community service mandatory, doesn't mean that I was any less committed.Elena: ... this was really important to my mother. She believed in community, family, honor, and loyalty. It's the legacy she left for me.John: Hey, partner!Damon: What do you want?John: You haven't returned any of my calls.Damon: Most people would take that as a hint.John: I'll tell the entire council what you are.Damon: Go for it! I'll kill every last one of them. Then I'll sever your hand, pull your ring off, and I'll kill you, too!Elena: This is ridiculous.Stefan: You're only saying that because you don't know how to do it.Elena: Sorry. Only one of us was around when the dance was invented.Stefan: Ouch! (twirls Elena and dips)Mrs. Lockwood: No! No! There's no touching during this part. It's about the simple intimacy of the 'near touch'.Stefan: If you ask me, the 'near touch' is over-rated!Caroline: And Amber Bradley is only on the court so the pageant doesn't look like it's founding families only, which, of course, it is. So that leaves Elena, and she totally has the sympathy vote, since her parents died. How can I compete with that?Bonnie: Very nice. Very sensitive.Anna: I remember this event from 1864. I was supposed to enter before everything happened.Damon: Ah... Nostalgia's a bitch!Damon (to Elena): He has no idea what normal is. His entire existence isn't normal. Normal to a vampire is drinking human blood, but he's spent all this time fighting it, when he should have been learning how to control it. And now it's controlling him, instead!Stefan: What's going on in here?Damon: Just filling Elena in on your extra curricular activities.Stefan: What are you talking about?Elena: I know about the blood, Stefan.Damon: I'm gonna... I'll be downstairs... drinking!Anna: You were basically using me to turn you into a vampire so you could be with someone else.Jeremy: No, I wasn't using you.Anna: Really? Then, how would you like to define it?Jeremy: [scoffs] I don't think it's any worse than becoming friends with me so we could give your mother my blood.Anna: How do you know that?Jeremy: It's not important.Anna: Seriously, Jeremy. What do you know?Jeremy: Everything. I know everything.
Jeremy: There's a part of me that's so angry that she covered up what happened to Vicki and erased my memory, but there's also this other part of me, that's glad. I don't want to remember Vicki like that.Anna: As a monster?Jeremy: No. As someone who wanted to hurt me.Anna: When I met you, you were just a part of my plan to get my mother back, but then things changed... all the time we spent together. I would never do anything to hurt you... not now. You know that, right?Stefan: I'm sorry. I'm not very good to be around, right now. I'm a little bit on edge. I've been drinking the human stuff, and it's really screwing with my head. She knows now! She wasn't supposed to find out! I didn't want her to find out! Now everything's ruined!Amber: You seem sad.Stefan: I'm not sad... I'm freakin' hungry!Stefan: I don't hurt people. I don't do that. I'm the good brother.Amber: Do you want to hurt me?Stefan: I want to kill you! I want to rip in to your skin and then I want to feed on your blood. Under your skin... pulsating, flowing... your carotid artery... right there... If you puncture this, just right, you can control the blood flow. Takes practice, but it doesn't have to make a mess. You don't have to waste any.Amber: What's stopping you?Stefan: If I do this... If I give in, there's no going back.Damon: Alright... Now this is getting weird!Anna: We're here to talk.Damon: Not in the mood! Today's been a no good, very bad day!Stefan: You shouldn't be here.Elena: I know.Stefan: Now you know.Elena: That wasn't you.Stefan: Oh... That was absolutely me... a monster... a predator. That's who I am Elena!Elena: That's what the blood makes you.Stefan: The blood brings out what's inside of me, and if you think any differently, then you're an idiot!Elena: I know this isn't you, Stefan.Damon: Sure you wanna do this?Elena: I'm sure.Damon: There's no guarantee this is gonna work.Elena: It has to.Damon: Coming?Elena: I'm gonna stay here.[edit]Blood Brothers [1.20]Damon: So, you'll be here, again, tonight?Elena: Is that a problem?Damon: Yes. You're a complete nuisance.Elena: What's his favourite type...Damon: Type of what?Elena: Type of animal blood that he prefers?Damon: Ew, gross.Elena: Your joking doesn't help.Damon: It helps me. Hurry up. I can't babysit all night. I've things to do.Elena: I would say drop dead, but...Damon: Haha. Stefan likes puppy blood... little Golden Retriever puppies with cute floppy ears. That's his favorite.Elena: (referring to Stefan) It's so hard to see him locked up like this.Damon: You're the one who locked him up.Elena: You helped.Damon: I couldn't have him running around chewing on people while the town was looking for vampires, now, could I?Elena: It had nothing to do with you actually caring about himDamon: Your thing, not mine.John: I know you know.Elena: Know what?John: It's really silly to keep pretending. What do you think your mother would say if she knew you were dating a vampire?Elena: Which mother?Damon: The sun hurts my eyes.Stefan: That's part of it. The muscle aches, the sick feeling. Emily says it's our bodies pushing us to feed, to complete the transition.Damon: That's not gonna happen.Stefan: Is that your choice, then? To die, instead?Damon: Isn't it yours? This was all to be with Katherine. She's gone. I want it over.Anna: Your uncle John wants us dead.Jeremy: Oh, you don't know that.Anna: Yes, I do. He's a hater, Jeremy.Jeremy: Well, I'm not.Anna: No. You're something else entirely.Jeremy: Oh, yeah? What would that be?Anna: My weakness.Damon: Give me the address.Alaric: What, so you can go without me? No, I don't think so.Damon: I'm not going with you. You tried to kill me.Alaric: Well, you did kill me.Elena:(about Damon and Alaric) Are you two friends now?Damon: I don't have any friends ElenaElena: Right.Stefan: You're taking a stupid risk. I could hurt you.Elena: Then I'm stupid.Stefan: I don't want to survive... after what I've done, I just want it to be over.Damon(to Alaric): What did you think you were gonna find? Isobel with a cigar and slippers?Alaric: I've gotta stop this. I can't keep searching for her.Damon: Really? After only two years? That's actually moderately healthy.Alaric: What are you goin' on — a hundred and forty-six?Damon: I figured the two hundred mark is probably a good stopping point.Elena: You're not exactly innocent. You've made it your life mission to make him miserable.Damon: From the moment Stefan had his first taste of human blood, he was a different person. I suppose I should thank him. It's been a hell of a ride.Emily: You've transitioned.Stefan: You'd have rather found me dead.Emily: Katherine saved my life once. I owed her. But that doesn't mean I'd wish her curse on anyone.Stefan: Feels more like a gift.Emily: That will change.Stefan: Why is that?Emily: Because even in death, your heart is pure, Stefan. I sense that in you. That will be your curse.Stefan: You don't understand, Elena.Elena: Then tell me.Stefan: It hurts me. It hurts me knowing what I've done. And that pain, that pain is with me all the time. And every day I think that if I just...if I just give myself over to the blood, I can make that pain stop. It would be that easy. And every day I fight that. And I am so terrified that one day, I not going to want to fight that anymore more, Elena. And the next time I hurt somebody, it could be you.Stefan: Thank you.Damon: No, Stefan. Thank you. You're back on Bambi blood, and I'm the big badass brother again. All's right in the world.Stefan: No, I mean it. Thank you, for helping her take care of me.Damon: You brood too much. Everything on this planet's not your fault. My actions, what I do, it's not your fault. I own them. They belong to me. You're not allowed to feel my guilt.Stefan: You feel guilt?Damon: If I wanted to, it's there.[edit]Isobel [1.21]Alaric: How could I not search for you?Isobel: Because I wasn't lost, Ric.Alaric (to Isobel): Screw you, you selfish bitch.Damon: You successfully cured him of anything interesting about his personality.Elena: Remember who helped me.Damon: I hate myself.Caroline: Southern classic elegance.Bonnie: Gone With the Wind?Caroline: How'd you know?Bonnie: You channel Scarlett daily.Alaric: She threatened to go on a killing spree.Damon: I take it that's not okay with you guys?Damon: Stefan is different. He wants to be human. He wants to feel every episode of "How I Met Your Mother".Elena: Why are you doing this?Isobel: I'm showing you how easy it is for me to hurt the ones you love.Isobel: Don't look for any redeeming qualities. I don't have any.(Damon slams Isobel down on the floor by her throat)Damon: Now that I have your attention, listen up. (grits his teeth) You do not come into my town, threaten people I care about. Going after Elena... bad move! You leave her alone or I'll rip you to bits because I do believe in killing the messenger and you know why? (leans close and whispers) Because it sends a message. (Picks her head up and slams it back into the floor. Isobel groans in pain) Katherine wants something from me, you tell that little bitch to come get it herself.Damon: I like being a living dead personIsobel [to Elena]: As long as you have a Salvatore on each arm, you're doomed.Stefan: I'm just concerned about Elena being hurt. She considers you... a friend.Damon: Same here. Elena is a very good friend. Actually, she might qualify as my... only friend.Stefan: What proof do you have?Damon: I don't need proof. That's between Elena, John, Maury and a DNA test.[edit]Founders Day [1.22]Stefan: (to Damon) What are you doing here?Damon: Why wouldn't I be here? It's Founder's Day, I am here to eat cotton candy and steal your girl. (smirks)Stefan: Don't start with me, Damon.Damon: Oh, you started it, Stefan with the whole "I'm insecure, leave Elena alone" speech. I'm just enjoying that.Stefan: As long as you heard it.Damon: Huh? What?Damon: I get it. I'm the better, hotter, superior choice and you're scared now that Katherine is out of the picture that I'm gonna turn all my attention to Elena.Damon: I wanna say something to you.Bonnie: Just leave me alone.Damon: Thank you. The device in Emily's spell could have killed me. I don't take what you did lightly, so — thank you.Bonnie(nonplussed): I did it for Elena.Damon: I know that, but I'm still very grateful. And... I owe you.[At the Grill, Elena walking in, dressed normal]
Damon: I like you better like this. The period look, it... didn't suit you.Elena: Is that an insult?Damon: Actually, Elena, it's a compliment of the highest order.Damon (mockingly): I have so many emotions, but I don't have any way to express them. Being a teenager is so hard.Jeremy: You dick!Damon: (grabs him) You do not talk to me like that. I'm not your sister. And from now on, don't talk to your sister that way either.Jeremy: So what, are you going to kill me because I hurt Elena's feelings?Damon: Cut her some slack.Jeremy: She erased my memories.Damon: No, I did. She was protecting you.Jeremy: It wasn't her call to make.(Damon grabs him)
Jeremy: Let go of me before I cause a scene.Damon: You'll be unconscious before you even got a word out.Damon: Mayor? Is that you?Mayor Lockwood: What are you doing here?!Damon: I'm a vampire. What's your excuse?Jeremy: Anna said that vampires don't have to feel pain; that they could turn it off if they shut out their humanity.Damon: It's very true.Jeremy: Is it easier that way?Damon: Is what easier?Jeremy: Life...Damon: Life sucks either way, Jeremy. At least if you're a vampire you don't have to feel bad about it if you don't want to.Damon: You know, I came to this town wanting to destroy it. Tonight I found myself wanting to protect it. How does that happen? I'm not a hero, Elena. I don't do good. It's not... in me.Katherine (pretending to be Elena): Maybe it is.Damon: No. No, it's reserved for my brother, and you, and Bonnie... who even though she has every reason to hate me still helped Stefan save me.Katherine: Why do you sound so surprised?Damon: Because she did it for you. Which means that somewhere along the way, you decided that I was worth saving. I wanted to thank you for that.Katherine: You're welcome.John: Katherine?!Katherine: Hello, John. Goodbye, John. (stabs him)[edit]Season 2[edit]The Return [2.01]Stefan: She said she fooled one of us at least, what does that mean?Damon: She pretended to be Elena too, when I showed up earlier the night.Elena: I told Jeremy, I can't lie to him anymore.Stefan: You all right?Elena: No I'm not all right. I thought with all the tomb vampires gone things would get better.Stefan: I know. We all didElena: Katherine was in this house. That means she's been invited in. What are we gonna do?Damon: Move.Elena: Very helpful. Thank you.Damon: Katherine wants you dead, there’s zero you can do about it. You will be dead but your not, so clearly she has other plans.Stefan: Right and we need to find out what those other plans are, and not provoke her in the process. What happened tonight when you thought she was Elena?Damon: To risk another frown line encroaching on a very crowded forehead. We kissed.Elena: And you thought it was me?Stefan: What do mean you kissed?Damon: Well you know when two lips pucker and they go (makes kissing noise, Stefan goes for Damon, Damon moves)Damon: Don't be obvious StefanElena: Stefan, wait, he... he kissed Katherine not me, I wouldn't do that. We don't have time for this guys.Stefan: LaterDamon: (Nods)Elena: Hey, how you doing?Damon: Great Elena. Walking on sunshine. Thanks for asking.Elena: Damon.Damon: Elena.Elena: We should be able to talk about this. Damon we're close enough now. I really want to know how you’re doing.Damon: I kissed you. I thought you kissed me back. Doppelganger hijnix, ensued. How do you think I’m doing?Elena: I think that you’re hurt.Damon: Mmmm. No I don’t get hurt, Elena.Elena: No. You don't admit that you get hurt. You get angry and cover it up, and then you do something stupid.Damon: You’re scared. You think Katherine's going to send me off the deep end. Don't you. I don't need her for that. You know what. Why is such a surprise that I would kiss you?Elena: That’s not a surprise. I'm surprised that you thought I’d kiss you back.Damon: Now I’m hurt.Damon: Why? I'd fight meDamon: Very brave of you to come here.Katherine: I wanted to say goodbye.Damon: Leaving so soon?Katherine: I know where I’m not wanted.Damon: Don't pout. It’s not attractive in a woman your age.Katherine: Ouch (Damon walks away. Katherine,appears in front of him) what, no goodbye kiss?Damon: Why don't I kill you instead? What are you doing here?Katherine: Nostalgia, Curiosity, etc.Damon: I'm better at the anumatic one-liners, Katherine. Whatta up to?Katherine: Trust me Damon, When I'm up to something. You'll know it, come on. KISS me or KILL me. Which will it be Damon. We both know you're only capable of one. (Damon Kisses her)Damon: Okay. Wait. Brief pause. I have a question. Answer it and it's back to fireworks and rockets red glare. Answer it right, I'll forget the last 145 years I’ve been missing you, I'll forget how much I loved you, I'll forget everything and we can start over, this can be our defining moment, we have the time, that’s the beauty of eternity, I just need the truth, just once.Katherine: Stop. I already know your question, and it's answer. The truth is, I've never loved you. It was always Stefan. (Leaves)Damon: You're surprised that I thought you'd kiss me back, you can't imagine that I’d believe you'd want to.Elena: DamonDamon: That what we've been doing here, means something. You’re the liar Elena. There is something going on between the two of us and you know it. And you’re lying to me. And you’re lying to Stefan. And most of all your lying to yourself. I can prove it.Elena: NoDamon: (kisses her)Elena: Damon don't. What’s wrong with you?Damon: Lie about this (tries to kiss her again)Elena: Stop it. You're better than this. Come on.Damon: That’s were you're wrong.Elena: No, no, no. Damon I care about you. Listen to me. I care about you. I do, but I love Stefan. Its always gonna be Stefan.Caroline: Elena? What are you doing here?Katherine: My name is Katherine. I was hoping you could give the Salvatore brothers a message for me.Caroline: What are you talking about? What message?Katherine: Game on.[edit]Brave New World [2.02]Damon: Jeremy, so good to see you alive.Jeremy: Aren't you a lil old for a high school carnival?Damon: 150 years too old.Jeremy: Your pretty funny cracking jokes when I could, I dunno, blow the whole lid off this thing by telling someone what you really are.Damon: So please tell me that, that is not a threatJeremy: Maybe it is. (looks at his ring)Damon: Oh. (Grabs Jeremy) This is what we're not going to do. We’re not going to walk around like we're invincible. When it is this easy for me to end you. If you wanna tell people what I really am, go ahead and try. I will shove this ring so far up your ass you'll really have something to choke on. (Throws ring at Jeremy)Damon: Is he...?Stefan: No. It wasn't that kind of strength. It was more than human if it makes any sense.Damon: What is up with that family? They're not vampires, what the hell are they?Stefan: Ooo! Uh, maybe they're ninja turtles?Damon: You're not funny.Stefan: Or no, zombies. Werewolves.Damon: No comedic timing at all.Stefan: What? What are you up to?Damon: Since this is reality, and there's no such thing as werewolves or combat turtles.Stefan: No, it's ninja turtle.Elena: Hi. What time is it?Stefan: It's almost dawn. Come with me.Elena: Stefan, What are we doing here, we're going to get caught.Stefan: Well I compelled the guard to go on a break so I can kiss my girlfriend on top of the Ferris wheel.Elena: Stefan.Stefan: We have to take these moments Elena. Alright, what Katherine did to Caroline could just be the beginning and then there’s things about Tyler’s family that we don't even understand yet and there’s always the D-word, but I came back to this town to start a life with you. We can’t forget to live it.[edit]Bad Moon Rising [2.03]Damon: Thanks for coming Ric. Can I get you anything to drink? Coffee? Bourbon? Bourbon in your coffee?Damon: If this wolf man thing is true, I’ve seen enough movies to know its not good. It means Mason Lockwood is a real life Lon Chaney and that little Tyler punk very well may be a Lon Chaney Junior; which means Bela Lugosi, meaning me, is totally screwed.Damon: Sorry, you can't come too. Stef.Stefan: Call me if you need anything, okay?Damon: Oh I’ll take really good care of her.Damon: How you doing back there? You know this whole pretending to hate me thing is getting a little silly.Alaric: I don't think she’s pretending. You did kill her brother.Damon: There is a huge astrix next to that statement. He came back to life.Elena: Yeah. Thanks to a ring you didn't know he was wearing.Damon: Why are you so sure I didn't know?Elena: Did you?Damon: Yes!Elena: You’re lying.Damon: Elena! I saw the ring. It’s a big tacky thing. It’s hard to miss.Damon: I can't reach it Elena. Just pull the damn thing out. It hurts. Aaah. That bitch is dead.Elena: Ah. You’re not going to kill her.Damon: Watch me.Elena: You touch her and I swear I will never speak to you again.Damon: What makes you think that has any power over me? Cause I took an arrow in the back for you. You are severely over estimating yourself.Elena: Right I forgot that I was speaking to a psychotic mind who snaps and kills people impulsively. Fine. Go head. Do what ever you want.Damon: You’re trying to manipulate meElena: If by manipulate you mean tell the truth. Okay, GuiltyCaroline: So, you're saying that now, I'm basically an insecure, neurotic control freak on crack.Stefan: Well, I wasn't going to say it like that. But...Elena: Here take this.Vanessa: Does Vervain really work?Damon: Nope. Not at all.Vanessa: Can he hear us?Damon: (Whispers) Nooo. That would be creepy.Vanessa: Can he read minds too?Damon: Ya know if you wanna see me naked all you have to do is ask.Elena: NO! That he can't do. But he is very capable of being a first rate jackass.Caroline: Why are you looking at him with your serious vampire look?Stefan: My wha-, my serious vampire look?Caroline: Mhmm. I mean it's different from your worried vampire look, neither of which stray too far from your "Hey it's Tuesday" look.Stefan: Oh, I get it. Okay. You think I'm, ah, you think I'm too serious. That it?Caroline: I mean, I wasn't gonna say it like that, but.Elena: I need to know the truth. When you broke Jeremy’s neck, did you that he was wearing the ring?Damon: No. No, I didn’t. Katherine really pissed me off and I snapped and… I got lucky with the ring. I don’t know what I would done of he wasn’t wearing it. Elena, I’m sorryElena: Thank you for being honest with me and the answer to your question, about our friendship is yes. You have lost me forever.Damon: You knew that already, didn’t you? You used me todayElena: You had information about Katherine that I needed to know.Damon: I thought friends don’t manipulate friends. You and Katherine have a lot more in common than just your looks[edit]Memory Lane [2.04]Katherine: Don't fight it, Stefan. You loved me once. You can love me again. I love you, Stefan.Katherine: Are we really going to do this again? We both know I could rip you to shreds and do my nails at the same time.Stefan: What do you want?Katherine: I wanted to see you. I've missed you, Stefan. Indulge me for a little while, please?Stefan: Why are you back in town?Katherine: 3 reasons. You, you and... you.Stefan: See, I can't quite get that down. It just kind of...gets stuck in my throat.Katherine: You know, it's the truth. Deep down inside that gorgeous body of yours is the Stefan that fell in love with me, tooElena: What do you want?Damon: So this is where you spend your time when you're not stabbing people in the back.Elena: I tricked you into telling me the truth. That's not stabbing you in the back. That's using your own tactics against you.Damon: Where are you going?Elena: I made myself clear, Damon. I want nothing to do with you.Stefan: What do you know about werewolves?Katherine: I know not to pet one.Katherine: Why did you keep this picture? Why not burn it? Tear it up? You wanna know why I came back? Well, I have a better question. Why did you? Elena? No. You came back here to fall in love with me all over again, didn't you Stefan?Jenna: I've no secrets. Only dirty shame.Mason: We haven't met. Mason Lockwood.Damon: Oh, sure. Hey. Damon Salvatore.Mason: I know. I've heard great things about you.Damon: Really? That's weird. 'Cause I'm a dick.(in 1864)Stefan: I know we've only known each other for a short while. And I know I'm in competition for your affections. But... I've never met a woman quite like you. I look at you and I see an angel. I touch your skin... and my entire body ignites. I kiss you and I know that I'm falling in love. (kisses her)I am in love with you.Katherine: There's just so much you don't know about me, Stefan.Stefan: More to learn and love.Katherine: I must say goodnight.(in present)Katherine: Go ahead, Stefan. Torture me, keep me captive, drain me of blood until my body turns to dust. It'll never change the truth.I never compelled your love. It was real. And so was mine.Stefan: It wasn't real. I remember you compelling me.Katherine: Only after I showed you who I really was. You were so scared of me. I had to take away your fear.Stefan: Well, whatever feelings I had back then... they've all turned to hate.Katherine: Love, hate. Such a fine line. I can wait.(playing Pictionary, Damon is drawing)Jenna: Dress. Ballerina.Caroline: Puppy. Puppy. Puppy with a tutu?Damon: No.Jenna: Dog. Hound. Hound dog. You ain't nothing but a hound dog.Mason: Dances with Wolves.Damon: Mason wins again.Jenna: How is that a wolf?Stefan: You knew that they were going to burn the vampires in the church?Katherine: I practically lit the match back there.Stefan: They were your friends. They were your family. You just sold them out?Katherine: Without blinking.Stefan: So you sent 26 of your friends to their death just to fake your own? No. You were running from something. What was it?Katherine: Everyone has a past, Stefan. Mine needed to stay far, far away. But thanks to you, my plan nearly failed before it even began.Once George told me that the roundup was imminent, I made sure I could see you one last time. But your father used your love for me against you. He poisoned your blood. We don't have long. Then Damon, being Damon, nearly ruined everything.Stefan: We came for you. We tried to save you.Katherine: I didn't want to be saved.Stefan: Then Damon and I died for nothing. For nothing!Katherine: No, Stefan. You died for love!Mason: Alaric, catch that game next week?Alaric: Yeah. Looking forward to it.Damon: Hey, you know, I should probably head out, too. (to Jenna) Jenna... you are a wonderful hostess.Jenna: And you are a terrible artist.Damon: Is that the only thing that makes me terrible?Jenna: Still deciding.Damon: Good enough for me. (to Alaric) Alaric... let's not catch that game next week.Mason(to Damon, after he stabbed him): Now you made an enemy.Stefan: So you going to tell me why you came back here? Or we're you just playing another game?Katherine: Have you not heard a word that I've said? I've answered that question 5 times over now.Stefan: All right. Good. Make it six.Katherine: I want what I want, Stefan. And I don't care what I have to do to get it. My list of victims is a long one. And :I have no problem adding one more name to that list.Stefan: Come on, Katherine. If you wanted Elena dead, you would have done it by now.Katherine: I still can. If I have to, I will snap her neck like a twig. And you know it.(...)Katherine: I don't want you seeing Elena anymore. If you don't remove her from your life, I will kill everyone that she loves in her life while she watches,and then I will kill her while you watch.(...)Katherine: I've missed you, Stefan. I just wanted to spend some quality time with you.Tyler: Tell me how the curse is triggered.Mason: If I tell you, you won't be able to think about anything else. I don't want that for you.Tyler: I think I can handle knowing.Mason: Yeah. You think you can handle it, tough guy? You have no idea!Tyler: Do you want your stupid rock or not?!Mason: Tell me where it is.Tyler: Tell me what triggers the curse!Mason: You have to kill somebody! Human blood! You take a person's life away from them, then the curse is yours forever. Can you handle that?Elena: You're not actually saying that we should do what she says.Stefan: Listen, she's sadistic. She threatened you. She threatened everyone.Elena: Yeah. No. I get it, ok. She's dangerous. But every day that we're together it's dangerous. Why are you giving her so much power over our relationship?Stefan: This the reality of our situation.Elena: Reality sucks. This is what she wants, Stefan. She wants us to fight. She wants get between us.Stefan: She already has, Elena.Katherine: Bad day?Damon: Bad century. I heard you were on the loose.Katherine: What's the matter? Jealous cause I spent the day with Stefan?Damon: I don't do jealous. Not with you. Not anymore.(...)Katherine: Don't try to be the hero, Damon. You'll end up dead.Damon: Been there, done that. At least this time it will have been worth it.Katherine: I love you Stefan we will be together again I promise.[edit]Kill or Be Killed [2.05]Elena: I hate fighting with you, even when it's fake.Caroline: You're gonna pretend to be a mother?Mrs. Forbes: I'll bring my gun if it gets rough.Damon: Man1 i don't want peace.Stefan: Consider it opposite day.Jeremy: [to Tyler]I know what you're doing.Tyler: Answer me! Why ... why wolf-pictures?Jeremy: Because... because I know.Tyler: You know what? You know what Jeremy?!Jeremy: I know what you are.Caroline: I can take you.Mason: Wanna bet?Caroline: Yeah. I do.Mrs. Forbes: This is how it’s going to work. Answer me and you don't get shot. Understand. How many of you are there.Damon: Liz please.Mrs. Forbes: How did you fool us? How do you walk in the sun? (Shoots Stefan who is still not awake) I will drag this out painfully.Damon: But you’re my friend.Mrs. Forbes: Our friendship was a lie.Caroline: (after killing two police offficers) Hi mom.Jeremy: Why didn't you give it to him?Tyler: Because he wants it. I'm a dick that way.Liz: My daughter is gone.Damon: You have no idea how wrong you are about that.Elena: What are you doing?Stefan: Katherine took a little vervain everyday and built up a tolerance to it, I could do the same with blood. I could learn to control myself on it.Elena: But you can't. Stefan you don't have to.Stefan: I almost died last night Elena, because I was too weak.Elena: But the last time you drank human blood...Stefan: I told you I’d find away to stop Katherine didn't I? Well this is it. This is the only way because she’s stronger than me and unless that changes. I can't protect you.Elena: Can we talk about this later? (‘’Points at ears, to say Damon can hear’’)Stefan: He can hear us wherever we are because he drinks this! This is the only thing that can help me.Elena: Are you serious or you pretending to fight, because I can't tell if…Stefan: No this is real, no more pretend.(Elena leaves.)Elena: Caroline’s sleeping on the couch.Damon: I heard. And you?Elena: I'm going home. (Stops at the door.) What you did for Caroline’s mom, that’s the Damon who was my friend. (leaving out the door.)Damon: Hey. Stefan didn't drink the people blood. If you were curious. But he needs too. And deep down you know that.Stefan: You can come in.Elena: Do you really think you can control it?Stefan: I dunno. But if I don't try…Elena: So a little bit everyday?Stefan: Yeah. Just a few drops of blood in my system, I think it’s worth trying.Elena: So do I. But I just don't want you to do it alone. (Cuts herself on the finger.)Stefan: What are you doing?Elena: It's you and me Stefan. Always.[edit]Plan B [2.06]Stefan: You're staring.(eyes closed)Elena: I'm gazing.Stefan: It's creepy.(opens his eyes and looks at Elena)Elena: It's romantic.Jeremy: I need to talk to you.Damon: And why do I need to talk to you? (tries to shut the door)Jeremy: (trying to convince Damon) Tyler has to kill someone to activate his curse. He's not a werewolf yet.Damon: Wow, fascinating. Not enough. (tries to shut the door again)Damon: Wow. Your search for life’s purpose is as obvious as it is tragic.Damon: If we start believing in supernatural witchy-woo from picture book, we’re idiots. Where is the stone now?Jeremy: Tyler.Damon: Can you get itJeremy: Yeah.Damon: See, now your life has purpose.Jeremy: So you do believe it?Damon: This is the same book that says that a werewolf bite kills a vampire. Ignoring it would make me an even bigger idiot.Damon: Katherine’s with Mason Lockwood?Stefan: We missed it. He got into town right after she did. It makes perfect sense.Damon: I know, but Mason Lockwood?! Werewolf thing aside, the guy’s a surfer. She’s gotta be using him. She has to be.Stefan: Using him for what?Damon: Mason Lockwood’s looking for a moon stone that allegedly can break the full moon werewolf curse. Maybe Katherine wants it as well.Stefan: Why?Damon: Well ... No idea. It’s the beauty of Katherine. She’s always up to something.Matt: She’s this amazing girl one minute and then this raging jealous freak the next.Tyler: Look, you know what I think of Caroline Forbes. She’s an insecure ,neurotic, bitchy little twit.Matt: Hey!Tyler: But the girl’s got heart. She means well. Just gotta take the good with the bad sometimes.Bonnie: What do you want?Damon: A favor.Bonnie: Like that’s going to happen.Damon: So predictable. That’s why I brought him.Stefan: I know how you feel about helping us out, but since you’re the one that linked Mason with Katherine, we finally have an opportunity to get an upper hand on both of them, so just hear us out.Damon: Pretty please.Bonnie: I’m listening.Stefan:(looks at his phone) I have to fill Elena in on what’s going on. (To Damon) Can you play nice, please?Damon: I guess.Damon: Let’s talk about that little witchy ju-ju thing you do with me. You know, the fun one where my brain bursts into flames? What is that?Bonnie: That’s me giving you an aneurysm. Your blood vessels go pop. But you heal quickly, so I do it over and over again.Damon: Is it vampire-specific?Bonnie: It’d work on anyone with a supernatural healing ability.Damon: Good. Good, good.Bonnie: Damon. I’m not going to help you hurt him.Damon: Mason Lockwood’s a werewolf. Katherine’s evil. They’re the bad guys. Really? You’re going to play morality police with me right now? Let me put it to you in another way ... They’re a threat to Elena. So you, witch, are going to get over yourself and help us.Stefan: Yeah, he meant that as a question with a “please” on the end.Damon: Absolutely.Damon: Here, grab that corner.Bonnie: Why? What are we doing?Damon: I don't wanna stain the carpet.Bonnie: I knew you were going to say something like that.Damon: You're judging again.Damon: (hurts Mason with a hotted iron) You can hurt. Good to know. I was afraid you were gonna be some beast master with no affinity for pain. (seeing Mason's wound healing) Oh, but you heal quickly. Not good. Guess I’ll just have to keep applying pain.Damon: So where did you two meet? She seduced you, told you she loved you? You're supernatural so she can't compel you. I'm sure she used her other charms. Katherine's good that way.Damon: What do you want with the moonstone?Mason: Screw you.Damon: Awwwrrr, Wrong Answer!Mason: I'm getting it for Katherine.Damon: Why?Mason: She's going to use it to lift the curse.Damon: Of the moon? Now, why would a vampire help a werewolf break a curse that keeps them from turning whenever they want?Mason: So I wouldn't have to turn anymore.Damon: Why?Mason: Because she loves me.Damon: Awww *laughs* Now I get it. You're just stupid. Katherine doesn't love you, she's using you, you moron.Mason: I'm done talking.Damon: Yes you are.Jeremy: Damon...Damon: You wanted to be a part of this? Well, here it is. Kill or be killed. The guy’s a werewolf. He’d kill me the first chance he got! So you suck it up, or leave. He wants me to kill him, anyway. Don’t you, Mason? It really is a curse, isn’t it? You know, I look at you and I see myself. A less dashing, less intelligent version.Mason: I love her.Damon: Oh, I know! I’ve been where you are. But Katherine will only rip your heart out. Let me do it for her.Damon: All this for that?Stefan: Yup. I see you've exercised your usual restraint.Damon: Had to be done.Stefan: Let's get rid of the body.Damon: Uuu, last number dialed. I wonder who that could possibly be.Stefan: No, no, no. Don't provoke her.Katherine: Mason. You should have been here an hour ago.Damon: Wrong boy toy.Katherine: Damon. For once you’ve surprised me. I assume Mason’s with you.Damon: He’s right beside me. Although his heart’s across the room.Katherine: You shouldn’t have.Damon: I’ve had a very busy day today. Killed a werewolf, found a moonstone. Hey, did you know that he hid the moonstone in a bottom of a well full of Vervain? Guess he didn’t trust you very much. He did love you. Poor guy. Hey, where are you, ’cause, you know, I could bring him over. Last good-byes and all that.Katherine: You've no idea what you’ve just done.Damon: Aww, did I put a kink in your master plan? I’m so sorry.Katherine: Do you honestly believe that I don’t have a plan B? And if that fails, a plan C, Then a plan D, and…you know how the alphabet works, don’t you? Send my love to Stefan.Stefan: I'm so sorry.Elena: We were so stupid. Sneaking around, thinking that we weren't going to get caught.Stefan: I know.Elena: We did this... Jenna's in the hospital, and Jeremy could be next. All because we didn't listen to her. Because we we're together. Stefan...Stefan: I know what you’re going to say.Elena: Then let me say it. I’ve been so selfish because I love you so much. And I know how much you love me. But it’s over. Stefan, it has to be.Stefan: Elena, I don’t…Elena: No, Stefan. It has to be.Damon: Elena… I riled Katherine up. I… I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t think.Elena: It doesn’t matter, Damon. She won. Katherine won.[edit]Masquerade [2.07]Katherine: I need you to deliver a message. Tell Damon and Stefan that I want the moonstone or I will rip this town apart until it rains blood. Tonight. At the masquerade ball.Stefan: We can't underestimate her. We have to play this smarter than her.Caroline: Can't we just give her the moonstone so she'll leave?Damon: No. Katherine's not getting dick. I've had it. I'm going to go to the masquerade ball and I'm going to kill her tonight.Stefan: You're not gonna kill her.Damon: Don't give me that goody-goody crap.Stefan: You're not going to kill her.Damon: Oh, really?Stefan: Because I am.Lucy: What's with the hair?Katherine: I'm impersonating my dull as dishwater doppelganger, Elena. She has the worst taste.Lucy: Except in men.Bonnie: What's going on?Jeremy: We're gonna kill Katherine.Stefan: I can explain.Bonnie: Please.Stefan: We're gonna kill Katherine.Stefan: All right. If anybody wants to back out, I'll understand.Damon: Yeah, cold feet speak now. I don't want this going wrong because someone chickens out. Caroline?Caroline: I won't. She killed me. Fair is fair.Matt: Elena?Katherine: (as Elena) Matt? You look dashing.Matt: I thought you said you aren't coming.Katherine: I couldn't miss it. You really are hot in a suit. I'd love to just...Katherine: God, you're hot. Now go away.Stefan: Are you sure you can do this?Damon: Who are you talking to?Stefan: I had the chance to kill her and I hesitated.Damon: Well, that is the fork in the road between me and you, my friend. I don't hesitate.Katherine: Dance with me.Stefan: No.Katherine: Fine. You tell me who I should kill. Him? She looks delicious.Jeremy: So, can you like do a hocus-pocus to ace a test?Bonnie: I don't know that spell.Jeremy: That'd be like the first one I'd learn.Stefan: Hello, Katherine.Caroline: Goodbye, Katherine.Katherine: You think you two are the only ones with a witch on your side? Wrong. And something tells me that my witch is better than your witch.Katherine: The three of us together, just like old times. The brother that loved me too much and the one that didn't love me enough.Damon: And the evil slut vampire that only loved herself.Katherine: What happened to you, Damon? You used to be so sweet and polite to everyone mostly.Damon: OH! That Damon died long time ago.Katherine: Good, he was a bore.Damon: Sorry about your pet wolf. You should have kept him on a tighter leash.Katherine: I'll have one of those.Damon: (in a mocking tone) Right away Miss Katherine.Katherine: Good for you, Stefan, 2+2..And it would have worked, except that people found out that I wasn't in the tomb. Thanks to you (turning to Damon) By the way, have I mentioned how inconvenient your obsession with me has been?Damon: You and me both, honey.Damon: Hello Katherine.Katherine: Where am I?Damon: Where you should have been all along. I thought you would have learned your lesson by now about messing with a Bennett witch.Katherine: You should have killed me.Damon:: Death would have been too kind.Katherine: No, Damon, don't. Damon, don't. You need me. Elena's in danger.Damon: From who? (pause, no response) You're lying, you're always lying.Katherine: Why do you think I haven't killed her? She's the doppelganger. She needs to be protected.Damon: Then I'll protect her while you rot in hell.(closing door in her face while Katherine tries to say something else.)[edit]Rose [2.08]Damon: If you want to drop the hint to your mom that Aimee's body is at the bottom of a ravine with a cracked spine, might save your mom some time.Stefan: I'm sorry.Damon: About what?Stefan: For being the guy that made you turn 145 years ago.Damon: Enough, Stef. It's late. No need to rehash that.Stefan: Well, you know what, I've never said it out loud. I guess I just need to say it and you need to hear it. I'm sorry. What I did was selfish. I didn't wanna be alone. Guess I just needed my brother.Stefan: [on saving Elena] I can't think of a better reason to die.Damon: Elena know you've been drinking blood?Stefan: I've been drinking hers.Damon: Hmm. How romantic.Jeremy: When I'm worn down, I take a nap. You were unconscious.Damon: The elephant in the room lets out a mighty roar.Stefan: Well, it doesn't have to be an elephant. Let's talk about it.Damon: There's nothing to talk about.Stefan: That's not true. Sure there is. Let's get it out. I mean, are you in this car because you want to help your little brother save the girl that he loves or is it--is it because you love her, too?Damon: Keep it up, Stefan. I can step out of helping as easily as I stepped in.Stefan: Nope. See, that's the beauty of it. You can't.Damon: Can we not do the whole road trip bonding thing? The cliché of it all makes me itch.Stefan: You're coming with me?Damon: It's Elena.Rose: I know who you are. I said be quiet.Elena: What do you want?(so scared)Rose: [slap!] I want you to be quiet Elena.Caroline: That werewolf road leads straight to vampire boulevard! I thought I was thinking fast on my feet.Damon: Oh, teens today and their underage drinking. Tragic.Damon: Since we’re road trip bonding, remember the days when all you lived for was blood? You were the guy who’d rip someone apart for the fun of it.Stefan: You mean when I was more like you?Damon: Yes, Stefan. Exactly! Back when you put blood into me so I could be a big bad vampire. I wonder if Elena would be so quick to open her veins to that guy. By the way, what happened to that guy? He was a hoot.Stefan: This has Katherine written all over it.Damon: Katherine's in the tomb. Trust me. I'm the one that shut her in.Stefan: Did you?Damon: Did I what, Stefan?Stefan: Well I know the hold Katherine has on you.Damon: She's in the tomb. Period. End of story.Stefan: We have to talk to her.Damon: No, no. Let me tell you how that's gonna go. We're gonna go ask for her help, she's gonna negotiate her release, which we're gonna be dumb enough to give her and then she's gonna get out and kill us. That's exactly what she wants.Stefan: I don't really care.Damon: It's a bad idea, Stefan.Stefan: It's Elena.Elijah: Excuse me. To whom it may concern. You're making a big mistake if you think that you can beat me. You can't. You hear that. I repeat. You cannot beat me. So I want the girl, on the count of three. Or heads will roll. Are we clear on this now?Damon: I just have to say somethingElena: Why do you have to say it with my necklace?(backing away slowly)Damon: Because what I’m about to say is probably the most selfish thing I’ve said in my lifeElena: Damon don’t go there.(tries to warn him)Damon: I just have to say it once, you just need to hear it. I love you, Elena, and it’s because I love you that, I can’t be selfish with you, and why you can't know this. I don’t deserve you. But my brother does. (Kisses her head) God, I wish you didn't have to forget this... But you do.[edit]Katerina [2.09]Elena: Okay, so you're saying is the oldest vampire in the history of time is coming after me?Rose: Yes.Stefan: No.Damon: What they are saying is, I mean if what she's saying is true..Rose: Which it is.Damon: And you're not just saying is so we don't kill you...Rose: Which I'm not.Damon: We're looking at a solid... maybe.Damon: She's in denial.Stefan: Shut up, Damon.Rose: Being in love with your brother's girlfriend must be difficult.Damon: I'm not in love with anyone.Rose: Wanna try that again?Caroline: I'm a terrible liar... I'm even worse at duplicity.Elena [to Katherine]: It must be painful to dessicate and mummify. I can't even imagine.Katherine: My family, your true ancestors, they disowned me. My indiscretion were not tolerated at that time. I had a baby out of wedlock. Shame.Damon: If you're setting me up in anyway, I will rip your heart out and shove it own your throat. Something I'm very good at.Katherine: Living out of a suitcase is better than dying so you can have you blood spilled over a silly little rock.Katherine (to Elena): I will always look out for myself. If you're smart, you'll do the same.Katherine: Witches and their spells. So many people to sacrifice.Have you noticed that Elena always kisses you? Lets just say I have been brushing up on my acting skills. (Smirks)Katherine: I'll be the safest psychotic bitch in town.[edit]The Sacrifice [2.10]Damon: Get your ass out the door before I throw you over my shoulder and carry you out myself.Elena: I don't want to be saved. Not if it means Klaus is gonna kill every person I love.Rose (about Alice): You know that she isn't going anywhere near my blood, right?Elena: I know that. She doesn't.Bonnie: I'll be fine.Jeremy: You could get hurt.Bonnie: And Elena could die.Damon: It's a plan. Is it perfect? What plan is?Damon: I'd rather poke my eyes out than that.Katherine: They're such pretty eyes.Alaric: Well, I'm naked. So... I'm just gonna go.Elena: Sound like you guys already have it all planned out.Damon: Yup, we're awesome!Stefan: Promise me, whatever happens, you'll protect her.Damon: Promise.Elena (to Damon): I don't question why everyone tries so hard to save me. You shouldn't question why I try so hard to save everyone else.Damon: If I had a dollar for every time some evil vampire surprised me.Jeremy: I don't need an escort to my room.Bonnie: Between here and upstairs, you may do something stupid.Damon: I killed you. You were dead.Elijah: For centuries now.Caroline (to Tyler): I don't want you to be alone.Caroline: There's a reason it's called a curse, Tyler.[edit]By The Light of The Moon [2.11]Rose: It doesn't mean I can't be a special friend.Damon: I think I like you.Damon: You sure you can do that?Rose: I don't love men that love other women. I think more of myself then that.Rose:So, I'm gonna help you.Damon: Help me do what?Rose: Save Elena. Protect Elena. All things Elena.Elijah: Good evening, Katerina. Thank you for having the good sense to be frightened. (To Stefan) Your release has been requested.Stefan: What? By who.Elijah: The lovely Elena drives a hard bargain, however, we have managed to reach a peaceful agreement, she and I. Please, come.Stefan: I can't.Elijah: Yes, you can. I've had the spell lifted.(Stefan exites the tomb. Katherine tries to escape but Elijah stops her).
Elijah: As for you however, you shall not exit until I say so. When Klaus comes he'll want to know exactly where you are. (To Stefan) You're free to go. Elena will explain the arrangement to you. If she keep her word, I'll keep mine.Katherine: I do love you, Stefan. Even if you don't believe it.Damon (to Alaric, about Jules): I've been marked? What the hell kind of wolf pronoun stuff is that, anyway?Elijah: I'm a man of my word, Elena. When I make a deal, I keep a deal.Stefan (to Katherine): The pleasure I'll get of watching you suffer is greater than any pain I'll ever feel.Damon: A) He can't do anything about it and B) what I just said.Elena: Do you think this is funny?Damon: Yes, Elena, I find hilarity in the lengths I need to go to to save your lifeDamon: I've been dead before. I got over it.Damon: Elena is on a martyr tear that rivals even if your greatest hits.Bonnie: We're not gonna let you get used in some creepy sacrifice ritual.[edit]The Descent [2.12]Caroline (to Tyler, afer he kissed her): Everybody just needs to stop kissing me!Jessica: Are you gonna hurt me?(so scared)Damon: I'm not really sure.Damon: I'm not human. And I miss it. I miss it more than anything in the world. That is my secret.Damon: I'm lost... metaphorically, existentially.Damon: I feel, Elena. And it sucks.Jules: This town is crawling with vampires. But, don't worry, we'll get them.Tyler: Who are you?Jules: I'm your friend. There are others like us, and they're on their way.Rose: I miss being human.Damon: Humanity's not all it's cracked up to be.Damon (to Rose): You went on a murderous rampage. It happens.Matt (to Caroline): What are you keeping from me? If you love me, you'll tell me. What is it?Jules: I'll tell you the only sure that exists. You want a cure. Take a stake and drive it through her heart(while backing out the place).Stefan: There's a lot of people here.Damon: Damn. There goes my plan to rip her spleen through her back.Rose: What do you call this whole deal with Elijah?Elena: I call it my best option.Rose: It's the easiest option.Rose: I'm a vampire. I haven't had a cold in five centuries.Damon (to Elena , about Rose): Death happens. We come. We go. The sooner she dies, the better. It's gloomy as hell in here.Damon: If you're gonna be maudlin, I'm gonna kill you myself. Just to put me out of your misery.Stefan: He's an Original. I don't really know what that means.Elena: Don't ruin the moment. You're about to ruin the moment, aren't you?Stefan: I'm totally ruining the moment.[edit]Daddy Issues [2.13]Jenna: What the hell?John: Good morning to you, Jenna. Alaric.John: Coffee?Elena: We did that last night. No more avoiding.Tyler: I'm sorry.Caroline: No. It's too late because we are not friends anymore and what happened to me tonight? That will never happen again. So you take that back to your little werewolf pack and you get the hell out of my house.Jenna (to Alaric): So Elena is my sister's husband's brother's daughter and her mother is my boyfriend's deceased wife. You can't make that stuff up.Andie: Why do you kill people?Damon: Because I like it. It's in my nature. It's who I am. But then I have to stay to get her, to protect her and she wants me to be a better man, which means I can't be who I am. Do you see the problem I am having, Andie?Andie: Or maybe this is who you are now. Love does that, Damon. It changes us.Andie: What do you want, Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome?Damon: I'm not that tall.Elena {to Caroline): We're gonna slumber it.Tyler: I didn't know what to do.Caroline: You help your friend. That's what you do.Damon (to Jules and Brady): Since Stefan got here earlier, I'll let him try it his way before I try it my way, which is a lot bloodier.Elena (to John): You may be my father, but I am never gonna be your daughter.Caroline: Why are you doing this to me?Brady: You're a vampire. Why not?Damon: He's a werefolf. He needs to die. I'm willing to do it. It's a win-win.Damon (to Elena): I'm steering clear of all women at the moment...Trust me, it's in the best interests of women everywhere.John: You guys are drinking vervain?Damon: It's an acquired taste.Elena (to Damon, about John): We just need answers. Try not to do anything stupid.Damon: Yeah, but stupid's so much more fun.Jules: I want the boy more than I want vengeance.Brady: Let's get both.Damon (to Elena): I'm a good guy now, remember?Jules (to Tyler): We live by a code of loyalty. We take care of each other. It's my duty and honor to help you. Please let me.Damon (to Stefan): Better watch your back. Because I might need to get a hero hairdo of my own and steal your thunder.Damon (about John): We're not that desperate, Stefan. The guy tried to barbecue me!Damon: You need to stop doing that.Elena: Doing what?Damon: Assuming that I'll play the good guy, because it's you who's asking.[edit]Crying Wolf [2.14]Brady [to Tyler]: They're the enemy. And if they break that curse, all of us are as good as dead.Jeremy: What kind of witch roofie was that?Bonnie: A strong one.Alaric [on Andie]: Just don't kill her, please.Damon: If I did, who would report her death?Alaric: That Elijah is one scary dude, but with nice hair.Elijah: I'm an Original. Show a little respect.Alaric [to John]: You're a dick.Stefan: This is a future memory: it's where your boyfriend whispered to you that he loved you.Stefan: I think there are a lot of conversations to be had about our future. About the kind of life we can have together.Elena: Stefan Salvatore, I hereby invite you into this home.Tyler: The Doppleganger?Stevie: Evil twin shadow person.Damon: My new girlfriend. Andie Starr. Action News.Alaric: It's not called Action News.Damon: I know. I like just saying it.Stefan: How was the slumber party?Elena: Fine. Good. Well-needed. When can me and you have one?Tyler: I kinda fell for her. I don't know how anyone wouldn't because she's pretty incredible.Jeremy: So, Luka remember anything?Bonnie: No, he just lost consciousness, that's all.Jeremy: Should we, uh, wait for Caroline?Bonnie: She was just gonna drop Luka off at the Grill, said to lock the door on our way out.Jeremy: Yeah, well I hope she drops him hard.Bonnie: Wait. You're Elena's little brother. I've known you forever. You're that punk kid. And remember your awkward phase, and then your emo phase, your druggie phase. And overnight you've turned into this hot guy who's really sweet and -Jeremy: You think I'm hot?Bonnie: With everything that's going on, you know, curses and sacrifice -Jeremy: Enough already(They kiss)Bonnie: Whoa(They kiss again)Stefan: You wanna let yourself get killed? That's not heroic. That's tragic.Stefan: Try not to get yourself killed.Damon: Yeah. It's been a day for that.Elijah [to Damon]: This is the third time I've saved your life now.Luka: Elena has to die.[edit]Dinner Party [2.15]Damon: I get you out of here and your ass is sipping Klaus-free margaritas in some unknown island somewhere, no way.Jeremy: You did like it, right?Bonnie: Yeah. I liked it.Damon: There's no such thing as a bad idea. Only poorly executed awesome ones.Stefan: Hunt. Pray. Kill. It was all I knew.Elena: He described you as a monster.Stefan: That's what I was.Elijah: I don't really pursue younger women. It's a joke, Ric. Lighten up.Stefan: Are you actually gonna be careful for once?Damon: Yes, I've become you. How tragic for both of us. Gotta run. Have a murder to plan. Busy day.Journal entry: I saw the vampire who killed me. I recognized him. It was Stefan Salvatore.Elijah: If you so as much make a move to cross me, I'll kill you and kill everyone in this house.Stefan: Who wants to die next?Elena: It sounds like you were a monster.Stefan: I was.Damon: You sound about jealous. Does he sound about jealous?Andie: You kind of do.Damon: You get anything out of Elijah?Alaric: No, it was boring. Of course, Jenna thinks he's charming.Andie: Whats that?Damon: Dessert.Alaric: Now get rid of him before Jenna comes back with dessert.Katherine: Hello, Damon. Hey, do you have a robe?Damon: How did you get out of there?Katherine: I knew that if I begged you not to kill Elijah that's excatly what you'd do. Need a little fact? The Originals can compel other vampires, but, as soon as they die, the compulsion wears off...Damon: And you knew thatKatherine: Yes, and I'm still here. I'm gonna help you. So, do you have that robe?[edit]The House Guest [2.16]Elena: What is she doing here?Damon: When we killed Elijah, it broke the compulsion and freed the bitch from the tomb.Damon: It's some kind of CRAZY ASS psychic witch attack!Isobel: Hi, you must be Jenna. I'm Elena's mother.Caroline: I'm a vampire, Matt.Damon: Katherine, there are six other bedrooms in this house. Go find one.Katherine: You hurt me today.Damon: Tit for tat.Alaric [to Jenna]: Just know that I love you. At least I can tell you that much.Jenna: Goodnight, Ric.Alaric: Goodnight.Katherine [to Elena]: Your pretty little outfit is gonna need a good dry clean.Bonnie: You didn't have to kill him.Katherine: Yes we did.Caroline: Just because I talk a lot doesn't mean I always know what I'm talking about.Jenna: Not now, Ric. Tonight, I trade you for Senor Tequila.Elena: How do we tell someone what we know? How does someone hear that?Katherine [to Damon]: I wanted out of the tomb. Doesn't matter the price. Of course I knew you would die.Elena: It's gonna be a girls' night. Maybe Katherine can join us.(BEING SARCASTICALLY)Matt: Since when am I the one who can express himself and you the one at a loss for words?Elena: I don't really need your help and I don't want it.Katherine: That's incredibly stupid of you,Elena. You know that?Damon: Guess who's coming to dinner?Damon: So, let me guess... in addition to the moonstone, the doppelganger, the lion, the witch and the wardrobe you need to find this witch burial ground.[edit]Know Thy Enemy [2.17]Isobel: sorry for being such a disappointment to you Elena.Elena: You screw up everything, John. Everything you touch just falls apart. But you’re the only parent I have left. So maybe I can learn not to hate you.Damon: Great, we’ll have to put that on our list of things to do today. “Harness dead witch power."Damon: Don't mistake the fact that we haven't set you on fire in your sleep for trust.Damon: I'll be super pissed if you lock me out.Stefan:(To Damon) Tell you what,why don't you call Alaric and let him know that his wife just showed up on his girlfriend's doorstep.[edit]The Last Dance [2.18]Damon: You see, that's why I didn't tell you. Cause you would have never been able to do it. Don't get me wrong, Stefan. I don't mind being a bad guy. I'll make all the life and death desicions, while you're busy worrying about collateral damage. I'll even let her hate me for it. But at the end of the day, I'll be the one to keep her alive.Damon:(Dancing with Elena on the dance floor)I have moves you've never seen before,girl.Damon [to Elena]: Let me be clear about something. All right? If it comes down to you and the witch again, I will gladly let Bonnie die. I will always choose you.[edit]Klaus [2.19]Damon: Wow, I'd love to lend you a hand, but, you know, you wouldn't want me doing anything stupid.Stefan: You're seriously gonna be like this?Damon: You and your girlfriend are calling the shots. I'm just... backing off, Stefan.Elena (On Katherine) : You cared about her, didn't you?Elijah: It's a common mistake, I'm told. And it's one I won't make again.Elijah: I need some air. I'm still feeling a tad... dead. Come.Katherine: Where is he going?Alaric/Klaus: To retrieve me. So I can get out of this bad hair-do.Elijah:I think the term you're looking for is: OMG?Elijah:The curse of the sun and the moon is fake.Damon:Thought you might be dead.Katherine: Unfortunately not.Katherine (to Elijah): That is too sad for me to accept, my lord. Life is too cruel... if we cease to believe in love, why would we want to live?Damon: You should be thankful she’s here. She’s keeping me from going for what I really want.Stefan: You’re right. Thank you for being in love with my girlfriend.[edit]The Last Day [2.20]Damon: What if it doesn't work, Elena?Elena: Then I guess I'll just be dead.Stefan: Elena made her decision. She's choosing to trust Elijah. I'm going to put my faith in her.Damon: Why? She's going to end up dead.Stefan: Because she put her faith in me. She chose to trust me in spite of what I am. I'm going to bet on somebody's instincts, it's going to be hers.Damon: Well, then, that makes you the biggest idiot of them all.Stefan: She chose to trust you, too.Damon: Then maybe you shouldn't be so sure about her instincts.Alaric: He wanted me to deliver a message, the sacrifice happens tonight.Stefan: So you don’t remember anything that happened?Alaric: No, it’s like I blacked out and woke up 3 days later.Damon: You're going to die, Elena.Elena: And then I'll come back to life.Damon: That is not a risk I am willing to take.Elena: But I am. It's my life, Damon. My choice.Damon: I can't lose you.Elena: You won't.Elijah: Your problem, Damon...you talk a good game but you don't actually know anything. She'll never forgive you. And never for a vampire...it's a very long time.Elena: We are climbing all the way up to the top?Stefan: Oh yeah.Elena: Well can’t you do one of super power vampire jumpy things.Stefan: No, it’s your last day as a human, why cheat now?Stefan: Look, I know this isn’t the first time you have thought about it, drinking vampire blood to survive and I know I have thought about it a 100 times.Elena: And before all this with Klaus? Do you think about it then?Stefan: Of course I did. Look, if it were my choice I would want to be with you forever.Elena: Why have you never brought it up?Stefan: Because I knew if it was an option you would have. It’s selfish for me to ask you.Elena: Didn’t stop Damon.Stefan: He shouldn’t of done what he did, he did it because he loves you.Elena: But he did this to me, Stefan. Which means he doesn’t really know what love is and to be honest I don’t know if I do. I’m seventeen years old. How do I know any of this yet. I know that I love you Stefan, I know that but my future, our lives together, those were things I was supposed to do as they came along, I was supposed to grow up, decide if I wanna have kids and start a family, grow old and I was supposed to have a lifetime of those choices. Now, that’s all gone.Stefan: It’s ok to say it, please.Elena: I don’t want to be a vampire, Stefan. I never wanted to be one.[edit]The Sun Also Rises [2.21]Damon: Somehow you're the only one that wins. How'd that happen?Katherine: I didn't let love get in the way.Damon: Enjoy an eternity alone, Katherine.Elena: Witches are supposed to maintain the balance of nature. It's your duty to them. To keep this curse sealed.Greta: My duty is to Klaus. A new order.Klaus: Glad to know I still have a dance partner.Damon: Come back as a vampire and I will stake you myself cause I can’t stand the idea of you hating me forever.Tyler: You were right. I shouldn't have come home.Caroline: No, you just...should have never left. And you shouldn't leave again.Tyler: You're kidding, right? This is the second time I've tried to kill you.Caroline: Well, no friendship is perfect.John: (voiceover, in his letter to Elena) Elena, it's no easy task being an ordinary parent to an extraordinary child. I failed in that task. And because of my prejudices, I failed you. I'm haunted by how things might have played out differently if I'd been more willing to hear your side of things. For me, it's the end. For you, a chance to grow old and someday do better with your own child than I did with mine. It's for that child that I give you my ring. I don't ask for your forgiveness or for you to forget. I ask only that you believe this. Whether you are now reading this as a human or as a vampire, I love you all the same. As I've always loved you, and always will. John.[edit]As I Lay Dying [2.22]Klaus: I heard about this one vampire, crazy bloke, always on-and-off the wagon for decades. When he was off, he was magnificent. 1917 he went into Monterrey and wiped out an entire migrant village. True Ripper. Sound familiar?Stefan: I haven’t been that way in a very long time.Klaus: Well, that’s the vampire I can make a deal with. That is the kind of talent that I can use when I leave this town.Alaric: (About Damon's werewolf bite) Well, that looks bad.Damon: It feels worse.Katherine: (To Elena) It's OK to love them both. I did.Bonnie: (About saving Jeremy) Emily, I know you’re there! Please help me… I love him.Damon: You should have met me in 1864. You'd have liked me.Elena: I like you now. Just the way you are.Stefan: Your blood is the cure.Klaus: Gotta love Mother Nature.Damon: Elena, feeding you my blood, I was wrong.Elena: Yes, you were.Damon: And I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness but... I need it.Stefan: You’re not dying today.Damon: What’s the plan, Superman?Elijah: You gave me your word, Niklaus.Klaus: (To Stefan) You can either remain here living your life in Mystic Falls or you can embrace what you truly are - leave town with me and save your brother’s life.Katherine: (To Elena, about Stefan) He just sacrificed everything to save his brother, including you. Its’ a good thing you have Damon to keep you company. Goodbye, Elena.Alaric: (Drunk, to Stefan) I’m sorry; you’ve reached somebody who’s currently not operating.Elena:(To Stefan about ‘Gone With The Wind’) Look who couldn’t resist an epic romance.Damon: You should want me dead. I’m the reason Jenna got killed.Alaric: I don’t blame you for Jenna.Damon: Oh sure you do. Let’s not forget I turned your wife into a vampire. You must really hate me for that one.Alaric: OK, give me your glass. Neither one of us is drunk enough for this conversation.Damon: Kill me, please.Alaric: Screw you.Bonnie: (To Jeremy) You were dead. It would be weird if you felt normal.Damon:(To Elena about Katherine) All those years I blamed Stefan. But no one forced me to love her. It was my own choice. I made the wrong choice. Tell Stefan I’m sorry.Damon:(To Elena) I’ve made a lot of choices that have gotten me here. I deserve this. I deserve to die. It’s OK, because if I’d have chosen differently, I wouldn’t have met you. I’m so sorry. I’ve done so many things to hurt you.Elena: It's OK. I forgive you.Damon: I know you love Stefan. I know it’ll always be Stefan. But I love you. You should know that.Elena: I do.Caroline: That was Bonnie. Jeremy's alive.Sheriff Forbes: (relieved and crying) I thought I'd killed him.Caroline: You did.Sheriff Forbes: I don't understand.Caroline: I explained it to you once but I had to make you forget because I was so scared about what you might do. But now, I don't want to lie. I'm not going to be afraid of you anymore.(Taking her mother's hand) And I don't want you to be afraid of me anymore. (Crying she takes her mother in her arms) I'm still your little girl. It's me. It's me.(Crying, Sheriff Forbes returns her embrace)
[edit]Season 3[edit]The Birthday [3.01]Damon: Morning.Elena: Hey, I was gonna---(sees Damon naked and she turns around) OH! You heard me. You totally heard me.Damon: Hey, you should learn to knock, what if I was... indecent.Stefan: My brother still on our trail?Klaus: He's getting closer, I'm gonna have to deal with that.Stefan: No, no no. Let me handle that.Klaus: Why should I let you leave?Stefan: Cause you know I'll come back.Klaus: Do I?Stefan: You saved my brother's life, I'm at you're service.Klaus: Aah, you all sound so tedious, aren't you even having the least bit of fun?Stefan: I'll make sure that my brother doesn't bother us any more.Damon: Stefan.Stefan: Hello Brother.Damon: You don't write, you don't call.Stefan: I need you to stop following me, causing some problems.Damon: With who? Klaus? I'm supposed to care what he thinks?Stefan: What you're supposed to do is let me go.Damon: I saw your artwork in Tennessee. You're walking a fine line there my friend. Keep that up and there will be no saving you.[edit]The Hybrid [3.02]Klaus: Please, forgive the inclusion. My name is Klaus.Werewolf: You're the hybrid.Klaus: You've heard of me. Fantastic.Damon: How are you doing?Elena: Fine.Damon: You know I could help you.Elena: No thanks.Damon: One real...shoo (indicates jump)Elena: Yeah, with my luck, you'd drop me.Alaric: What are you guys, twelve?Elena: (douses rope with vervain) Here Ric, take these. (Damon goes to grab them, gets burned by the vervain'"OH OWWW!!!"') I said Ric.Elena: You're not a lost cause, Ric. You're just...lost. But so is Jeremy. And so am I. Our family is gone. We don't have anybody. I'm sorry, but you don't have anybody either, so...we're kind of it for each other.Anna: (as a ghost) Jeremy. Don't trust Vicki.Bill: Hello Caroline.Caroline: Daddy?[edit]The End Of The Affair [3.03]Damon: Rise and shine sleepy head.Elena: What are you doing? Get out!Damon: You know you were dreaming about me, explains the drool.Elena: Oh my god, 6 AM seriously?Damon: (reading Stefan's diary) "March 12th, 1922. I've blacked out days. I wake up in stranger's blood in places I don't recognize with women I don't remember." (gasps) I'm shocked. Stefan's not a virgin.Elena: Eyes on the road, grandma.Rebekah:(Flashback of Stefan and Rebekah first meeting in Chicago during 1900) Sorry to crash the fun boys but some of us actually came here to hear the music, not you.Stefan: I’m so sorry sweetheart, are we offending you?Rebekah: It takes a lot more than a baby face like this to offend me.Stefan: Hey, are you even gonna tell me your name?Rebekah: Sure, when you earn it.Elena: Stefan could have lived anywhere in Chicago and he chose this?Damon: There used to be an all-girls high school around the corner but it shut down for attendance issues. Weird.Klaus: I see they've opened the doors to the riffraff now.Damon: Oh, honey, I've been called worse.[edit]Disturbing Behavior [3.04]Elena: Where's Damon?Caroline: Probably off somewhere doing bad things to good people. What? Consider me the honesty policeAlaric: You killed me!Damon: Ric, no hard feelings, alright? I was on a bit of a tear, and everyone was trying to tell me how to behave.Alaric: Maybe they finally realized you’re a dick.Rebekah: There has to be more to this dress.Stefan: There’s not.Rebekah: So women in the 21st century dress like prostitutes, then? I got dirty looks for wearing trousers.Klaus: You wore trousers so women today could wear nothing.(Klaus making a brief point about her trousers)Rebekah: I am not a brat!Klaus: A thousand years of life experience says otherwise.[edit]The Reckoning [3.05]Stefan: I have done everything Klaus asked me to.Rebekah: No, you just failed to mention that the doppelganger is still alive.Stefan: Where is Klaus now?Rebekah: With any luck, ripping that cow's head off.Stefan: Where is she?Rebekah: You really love her don't you? Consider me jealous.Katherine: What if I told you there is a way to kill Klaus? And not dagger dead. Dead dead.Damon: I'd say you're either desperate and lying. Or drunk. Or desperate, lying, drunk.Katherine: You're going to get yourself killed. The Damon I remember wouldn't have been that stupid.Damon: I wouldn't have done it for you.Bonnie: Listen to me, I know you wanna help and I know you miss your sister but what you did was reckless and stupid.Matt: I know, Bonnie. I know. But it worked. It was worth it.Bonnie: You don’t want to be part of all this, Matt. You’re the only one of us who actually gets to live their life like a normal person, no matter how lost you feel. Don’t forget that.Elena: Stefan, you can control this. When that buzzer goes off, just...just drink from me!Stefan: You don't get it; I can't stop Elena. I'm a ripper! A ripper doesn't stop! I listen to the words that come out of your mouth and all I hear is the sound of your heart pumping blood through your body. And when that clock ticks down, I'm going to have to feed on you. You want to know what's worse? I'm not going to be able to stop.[edit]Smells Like Teen Spirt [3.06]Alaric: I think you found a way to get out of bed this morning and that makes you the strongest person I know.Caroline: Why should I let the fact that my boyfriend was turned into a hybrid put a damper on my day?Elena: New year. New life.Stefan: Oh, I'm sorry. Your tone implies that I'm actually supposed to care.Matt: You can't just keep appearing like this. It freaks me out.Vicki: I'm a ghost. It's all I got.Damon: What? What do you mean "what"? I've been calling you for two days.Katherine: Odd. That's exactly how long I've been ignoring you.Damon: You know Stefan. Journaling. Reading. Shaping his hair.Tyler: I'm his first successful hybrid, Caroline. Don't you think that's the tiniest thing awesome?Elena: I don't know what he is, but he's definitely not Stefan.Stefan: I'm the guy who's been assigned to protect the human blood bag. I mean, no offense.Damon: No one's gonna hurt you. Especially not my brother.Elena: I lure Stefan away from the bonfire. Then when he's distracted--Alaric: I'll shoot him.Damon: Can't Bonnie just juju him, or something?Caroline: How do I fix him?Damon: Get a new boyfriend.Bonnie: Matt's trying to resurrect his dead sister! I think I'll go deal with that instead.Tyler: How did I get home?Caroline: I brought you here. You were being a major d-bag.Tyler [to Caroline]: Everything I like about me, is you.Elena: Uh-oh! It’s the fun police. I thought that Ripper Stefan was supposed to be the life of the party.Alaric: You look, ah, not sober.Caroline: You have to earn the over-nighter.Tyler: I consider that a challenge.Elena: I know who you really are, better than anyone, Stefan. I am not giving up.Stefan: Elena, do you have any idea how pathetic that makes you?Elena: No, Stefan. It makes me strong.[edit]Ghost World [3.07]Damon: Well I don't have time for vengeful Lockwood. When I kill someone, they're supposed to stay dead.Elena: That's what it’s call?Jeremy: That's what Anna calls it. There's not an official brochure or anything.Stefan: All these words. Forgot how much I used to care.Elena: I didn't.Jeremy: I don't know why this is happening, or when it's gonna stop. But before it's done, I have to do this. [Kisses Anna]Damon: But remember back when you liked me, and we conspired to kill uncle werewolf Mason Lockwood?Alaric: Yeah. And?Damon: I think he’s still a little pissed.Stefan: You're...Lexi: ... dead? Technically, so are you.Elena: You need to disappear. Or evaporate. Or do whatever it is that ghosts do.Damon: Tyler can't be helped, at least now while Klaus is alive. Which is, like, always.Damon: You’re right. I didn’t have to kill you. I do a lot of things I don’t have to do.Stefan: I will rip you apart, Lexi.Lexi: You can't. I'm already dead.Mason: I don't need revenge, Damon. I need redemption.Damon: Which way?Mason: I don’t know. Flip a coin.Damon: Aren't you supposed to be all-knowing?Mason: I'm a ghost. Not God.Alaric: You’re going to recycle that same crap-ass apology you gave to Mason Lockwood?Damon: Yeah, well. I didn’t mean it with him.Elena [to Stefan]: I won't love a ghost for the rest of my life.Bonnie: I've got a ghost problem to deal with, Caroline. Save the Jeremy problem for later.[edit]Ordinary People [3.08]Alaric: Careful where you shine that thing. Bats hate the light.Elena: Wait... what?Alaric:As far as I could tell, it’s a story. In simple, archaeological terms, it’s a really, really old story.Mikael: [to Klaus]: Some days, it's a miracle you're still alive. Boy.Elena: How does he look?Damon: Pasty and pouty.Elena: He'll have to get over it.Elena: She’s a thousand-year-old vampire who’s joined the cheerleading squad. There’s a whole different set of rules in play here, Ric. I've got this.Alaric: Jeremy is an idiot. And I know this with certainty because I was once a Jeremy. Trust me, we learn. Eventually.Stefan: It’s precision born out of tragic boredom.Damon: All that effort wasted trying to tell you how boring you were and you finally agree with me?Rebekah: He’s a vampire. We’re a predatory species. We don’t have time to care about humans and their silly, little lives.Stefan: What's the point of the jailbreak?Damon: I thought you needed a hug, StefanRebekah: He's my brother. And I'm immortal. Shall I spend an eternity alone instead?Rebekah: If you come after my brother, I will rip you apart. And I get my temper from my father.Damon: Careful, Stefan, your humanity is showing.Damon: I went behind your back. I freed Stefan. And you know what? It backfired. He’s an even bigger dick than ever. It’s just, now, he’s a dick that’s on our side.[edit]Homecoming [3.09]Damon: I am forming a secret contingency plan.Elena: Really? What is it?Damon: Well, if I told you, it wouldn't a secret.Stefan: I’m one hundred and sixty two years old and I’m going to a homecoming dance. I need better ties.Damon: Elena. This thing blows up in our face, just remember only of us heals quickly.Caroline: I finally almost got your mom to stop hating me, so I probably shouldn't get caught in some kind of vampire threesome with her son.Caroline: Matt is an innocent, good person who should not be going to dances with evil blood sluts.Caroline: This is a sire thing, isn't it? Please tell me this is some weird family extension of your sire bond with Klaus.Tyler: I'm here hanging streamers and have glitter all over my hands. If I'm sired to anybody, it's you.Damon: It's very Katherine of you.Elena: Not the way to make me feel better about myself.Damon: It was a compliment. Sort of.Damon: Do you trust me?Elena: Yes.Damon: Then you have nothing to worry about.Damon: I'd offer you a drink, but Katherine tells me you're more of a vampire-on-the-rocks kind of guy.Klaus: Your mom is not a problem. I compelled her to go to the church and pray for your friends.Hybrid: Invite only, vampire.Damon: Here's my RSVP. (pulls out his heart) Hybrid.Damon: What the hell’s wrong with you? You’re not supposed to witchy migraine me.Bonnie: You’re not supposed to kill Tyler.Mikael: (Katherine stands back up, after Mikael stabs her thinking she is Elena) Katherine.Katherine: Kaboom.Damon: We're never getting Stefan back, you know that, don't you?Elena: Then we'll have to let him go.Katherine: Humanity is a vampire’s greatest weakness. No matter how easy it is to turn it off, It keeps trying to fight its way back in. Sometimes I let it.[edit]The New Deal [3.10]Elena: The Stefan that we know is gone.Bonnie: How is Damon handling that?Elena: Damon is... Damon.Damon: I can't drink all this by myself. I mean, I can. But then someone is getting naked.Jeremy: Hey, so what's the point of this again?Tyler: The point is I'm pissed at Caroline and Bonnie dumped your ass. The point is to get drunk and shoot stuff.Elena: Well, you're day drunk. It's not exactly your most attractive look.Damon: What is my most attractive look?Elena: I'm not saying that you have any attractive look. I'm just saying this is my least favorite one.Klaus: My sister has gone missing.Damon: Cute. Blonde bombshell. Psycho. Shouldn't be too hard to find.Elena: Vampires, hybrids and originals? No problem. My rebellious brother? I'm worried.Alaric: What if he asked you to... jump off a bridge?Tyler: He wouldn't. And even if he did, I'd be fine. I'm a hybrid.Elena: Ok, so what if he asked you to rip your own heart out?Tyler: Again, he wouldn't.Elena: What if he did?Tyler: I don't know. Then I'd rip out my heart.Klaus: Human life is just a means to an end. Our means, to our end.Jeremy: None of us are gonna make it out of this town alive.Damon: And they use their ju-ju to screw with my daylight ring.Elena: He's gonna kill Jeremy.Stefan: Not really my problem.(Elena slaps Stefan)Elena: Then you can go to hell.Damon: When are you going to get it? Stop. Saving. Me.Elena: Ric, hey. When did you return to the living?Damon: You go after Klaus, you're gonna have to be cut throat and devious. And I'm so much better at that than you.Damon: My brother is sort of running his own show right now.Elena: My brother just chopped of someone's head.Damon: Take it from me: Strange is bad, dead is worse.Elena: Thank you.Damon: No problem.Elena: Not just for this, Damon. For everything. I don't know what I would do if you weren't here.Damon: You should know this, Elena. Stefan didn't screw us over. He screwed us over, but he had a good reason.Elena: What?Damon: He saved Klaus to save me. Then he stole the coffins to get even.Elena: Damon, if he did it to protect you, then why would he even do that? What does that even mean?Damon: What does it mean? It means I'm an idiot. Cause I thought that for one second, that I wouldn't have to feel guilty anymore.Elena: Wait, what are you talking about? Guilty for what?Damon: For wanting what I want.Elena: Damon-Damon: No, I know. Believe me I get it. Brother's girl and all. (starts to walk away) No. You know what. If I'm gonna feel guilty about something, I'm gonna feel guilty about this. (kisses Elena)[edit]Our Town [3.11]Matt: You know, you guys are ruining a perfectly good funeral.Damon: Stefan just grabbed Elena.Klaus: Well, he's getting desperate.Damon: He's going to try to use her against you. Do what he says. Get rid of your hybrids.Klaus: Or what? Stefan would never dream of killing her.Damon: Are you sure about that? He just tried to behead someone in the middle of a council party. He's operating on crazy right now.Klaus: Well crazy or not, that kind of love never dies. He's bluffing.Damon: Maybe he is, maybe he isn't. But if you don't wanna believe him, believe me. I know my brother better than anyone and right now I don't have a clue how far he's willing to take this. So if he says blink, I suggest you blink.Caroline: Are you going to kill me?Klaus: On your birthday? You really think that low of me?Caroline: Yes.Klaus: That looks bad. My apologies you were just collateral damage, it's nothing personal. I love birthdays.Caroline:Yeah, aren't you like a billion or something?Klaus: You'll have to adjust your perception of time when you become a vampire Caroline, celebrate the fact that you are no longer bound by trivial human conventions. You're free.Caroline: No I'm dying.Klaus: And I could let you, die, if that's what you want. If you really believe your existence has no meaning. I thought about it myself once or twice over the centuries, truth be told. But I'll let you in on a little secret, there's a whole world out there waiting for you, great cities and art and music, genuine beauty, and you can have all of it, you can have a thousand more birthdays -all you have to do is ask.Caroline: I dont wanna die.Klaus: There you go sweetheart, have at it, happy birthday Caroline.Elena: You can't kiss me again.Damon: I know.Elena: You can't. It's not right.Damon: It's right. Just not right now.[edit]The Ties That Bind [3.12]Elena: Bonnie hasn't seen her mom in over 15 years. We don't need your snarky commentary narrating the experience.Bonnie: What's going on with you two?Damon: We kissed, now it's weird. Have a great trip.Elena: There's something I have to tell you. And it's not because I feel guilty that it happened. It's because I feel guilty that you don't know. I kissed Damon.Meredith: Vampire hunter who can't be killed by vampires. Convenient.[edit]Bringing Out the Dead [3.13]Elena: It's not Meredith. Okay? I refuse to believe that your luck with women is that tragic.Stefan: What are you doing here?Elena: Bonnie told me that you guys would be here. I need to talk to you.Stefan: Well, there's nothing to talk about. I'm just focused on getting this coffin opened.Elena: Did you kill the medical examiner?Stefan: Why would you think I did that?Elena: Maybe because I don't know what you are capable of anymore.Stefan: Believe what you want Elena.Elena: I don't want to believe any of it Stefan.Stefan: But you had to ask me anyway.Elena: Stefan-Stefan: Did you ask Damon? If he killed anyone lately?Damon: Oh, yes. This is about me kissing Elena. Just remember if it wasn't for Klaus you wouldn't have become such a dick and that kiss would have never happened. So get ready, and get happy. We're going to negotiate a fake truce and I don't want your attitude screwing up.Stefan: Where's Rebekah? Last I checked she was still daggered because you couldn't face her.Klaus: If you're referring to the fact that I killed our mother, I've already come clean to Elijah.Damon: Hey Stef. Remember when you killed dad? You might want to hold off on the judgement until dessert.Stefan: We're here to make a deal Damon. Doesn't mean we need to kiss his ass for seven courses.Klaus: Gentlemen. The worse thing for Elena Gilbert, is the two of you.Stefan: I love her Damon.Damon: So do I.Klaus: Elijah. Why haven't you left?Elijah: Where are your manners, brother? We forgot desert. (Removes a cloth from the trey, revealing two silver daggers)Klaus: What have you done?Elijah: What have you done? You see I've learnt not to trust your vulgar promises, Klaus. We're doing this on my terms now. (Elijah and Klaus's brother Kol comes into the room)Klaus: Kol!Kol: Long time, brother.Klaus: (Runs to the tray to retrieve a dagger but the dagger is seized by his brother Finn) Finn, don't (Finn stabs Klaus in the hand with the dagger. Klaus turns to run away and stops dead in his tracks)! Rebekah! (Rebekah comes into the room and stabs Klaus in the heart with the dagger)Rebekah: This is for our mother. (Klaus stumbles back to be seized by the arms by Kol. Finn and Rebekah surround him with angry looks on their faces)Elijah: (To Stefan and Damon) You're free to go. This is family business.[edit]Dangerous Liaisons [3.14]Elena: It's all so weird. The Originals are throwing a ball. Like, an actual ball.Caroline: It's some twisted Cinderella fetish, is what it is. And why does the evil witch want an audience with you?Elena: I have no idea. But there is one way to find out.Klaus: I'm glad you came.Caroline: Well it was either caviar or sympathy casseroles.Klaus: I heard about your father.Caroline: Don't. Seriously.Elena: (to Stefan) Mmm, he dances. I didn't even have to beg.Damon: Stop staring, it's creepy.Rebekah: Of course she looks beautiful. Nik gave her everything she's wearing.Damon: Elena. Did you get what you want?Elena: Actually, yes.Damon: Good. Tell me on the ride home. We're leaving.Elena: No, Damon. Let go of me. Look, I'm sorry that I had to cut you out of the plan.Damon: There shouldn't have been a plan. You shouldn't be here.Elena: You think I like going behind your back? I don't. But if I hadn't asked Stefan to help, you would have tried to be the hero and you would have ruined everything.Damon: Sorry for trying to keep you alive. Clearly Stefan doesn't give a crap anymore.Elena: Now you're mad at me for including Stefan?Damon: No. I'm mad at you because I love you.Elena: Well, maybe that's the problem. [pause] No, that's not what-Damon: No, I got it Elena. I care too much. I'm a liability. How ironic is that?Elena: Stefan. Did you really not feel anything?Stefan: When?Elena: How do you do that? Act like you don't care? Like you don't feel anything? Because I can't do that. I feel, I feel everything, and...Stefan: Elena stop.Elena: I'm not going to stop Stefan. Because I don't believe that you feel nothing.Stefan: You think I want to be this person? I hurt you, Elena, I bit you. I hate myself for what I did to you.Elena: Then show it. Do something Stefan, anything is better than trying to convince me that you don't care.Stefan: I can't.Elena: Stefan.Stefan: If I let myself care, all I feel is pain.[edit]All My Children [3.15]Damon: Why do you look like someone shot a panda bear?Kol: Out all night. What a scandal. I trust you did better than that commoner. Matt? Was it?Rebekah: You don't shut your mouth, the next thing to come out of it is your teeth.Elena: He was gloating, like actual gloat. Like he was proud of himself for sleeping with her. (to Caroline) Is it working?Caroline: It's not working. I can hear every word you're saying about Damon the vampire gigolo.Damon: Well you don't have to judge her. Just tie her up. Lock her in her room till this is over.Alaric: Well, I wouldn't if I could, and I can't because I'm busy.Damon: Busy doing what?Alaric: Don't worry about it.Damon: Are you with the sexy psycho doctor?Alaric: Good bye Damon.Elijah: In any case, you have until six minutes after nine to find them.Damon: Oh, how super specific of you.Rebekah: Do you think I want to spend what could be the last few hours of my life having idle chitchat with a girl who literally stabbed me in the back?Damon: A) What if she's with Esther? B) What if she can't cut her off? C) I don't know how any of this stuff works. And D) Neither do you.Rebekah: What is this?Elena: Sorry. No vampires allowed.Damon: So how do we know that they are going to be at the old witch house?Stefan: We don't. But if they're not, we have about 10 minutes till Rebekah tears Elena apart.Damon: You know, if we sit this out, Esther completes her spell, Klaus dies, you get your revenge, it's what you wanted the whole time. The only collateral damage is-Stefan: Elena.Damon: You know she'd choose?Stefan: She'd let herself be killed to save her friend.Damon: Yep.Stefan: You know, if we do this it will wreck her.Damon: Oh, she'll hate us. Thing is, she only has to hate one of us. Only one of us has to do the actual deed.Stefan: So, who's it going to be, brother?Damon: Well, heads I do it; tails you do it.Stefan: Awful lot of effort for someone who pretends not to care about her anymore.Elena: Are you insane?Rebekah: I prefer spontaneous.Damon: How long has it been since you've had a drop of human blood?Stefan: How'd you know?Damon: You spend 146 years with someone, you kind of start to pick up on their tells. Answer the question. How long has it been since your last drink?Stefan: Since the night I threatened to drive Elena off the Wickery Bridge.Damon: See. You have enough to feel guilty about. Why add to the list? By the way, you're welcome.Stefan: You know you're not fooling anyone either. You still love her Damon.Damon: I do. I thought I could win her from you fair and square. She didn't want me. It's for the best. I'm better at being the bad guy anyway.[edit]1912 [3.16]Damon: Dear Diary, a chipmunk asked me my name today. I told him it was Joe. That lie will haunt me forever.Stefan: What do you want?Damon: I was hoping we could hang. You know, a little brother bonding. I know we don't actually "hang out", we team up. We join forces, activate our wonder twin powers.Stefan: What are you doing?Damon: Digging up clues. Most of the Originals are gone, but now we have a Whodunit in town. Hey, do you remember when we came back for Zachariah's funeral?Stefan: Vaguely, why?Damon: Cause memory serves, he wasn't the first founders council member killed that year. Or even that month.Stefan: Your point being?Damon: I'm trying to remember what year it was.Stefan: 1912.Damon: So much for vaguely. 1912. Or as I like to call it, last time Mystic Falls had a serial killer on its hands.(1912 flashback)Damon: Have you been eating the relatives again?Elena: Just say it.Matt: I just don't get it. Your thing with them.Elena: I know it doesn't make sense. But at the beginning, after my parents died, there was something about being with Stefan that just, felt safe.Matt: Safe? Elena, he's a vampire.Elena: I know. Believe me, just saying it out loud, sounds crazy. But- It's like I knew that he would never, stop loving me. Like he would never-Matt: What?Elena: Die. Like he would never die.Matt: Like your parents did. And Damon?Elena: Damon just, sort of snuck up on me. He got under my skin and no matter what I do, I just, I can't shake him.Matt: Once you fall in love with someone, I don't know, I don't know if you can ever shake them.[edit]Break On Through [3.17]Damon: I didn't let him do anything. If you want to get nit-picky about it, I made him.Elena: Why would you do that?Damon: Because we're vampires, Elena. We need human blood to survive. We're predators, not puppies.Elena: Well, Stefan found a way around it before.Damon: Stefan has built himself a delusional wagon which he's repeatedly fallen off of.Alaric: Tell me again, why are we here?Damon: Ric, the world can't stop turning just because you're an accidental psycho killer.Meredith: Do you have any tact? Whatsoever?Sage: Please don't tell me you and Rebekah are friends.Damon: Not unless you count hate sex.Meredith: I really don't think you should be looking through that stuff.Alaric: Well, it's the truth. Restraining orders and all. My life is a series of police reports.Meredith: You don't strike me as an angry guy, which sounds weird given everything, but- you don't.Alaric: Yeah, well I was stupid when I was younger. It's not like these guys didn't have it coming. I mean, this guy here, broke a beer bottle over a bartender's head. This guy, hit his girlfriend. And this guy, okay, this guy was just a douche. Everyone needs to find a way to deal with their dark side. Some people meditate, I became a vampire hunter.Meredith: Semi-retired.Damon: Now unless you are interested in a Sage/Rebekah sex sandwich, I suggest you make yourself scarce.Bonnie: Who are you again?Jamie: The guy who lives out back, you know. The one you're not related to.Bonnie: Right.Jamie: Caroline and I had a little talk.Bonnie: Sounds like code for Caroline lectured you.Jamie: Maybe, but I needed it.Rebekah: I stole it from Nik, who stole it from a queen. Not sure which one.Alaric: What the hell are you doing here?Damon: Just making sure the witch didn't turn you into a toad, or a block of salt.Caroline: Well, when Bonnie gets back, she can snap her fingers or wave her hands or whatever, and make the herbs bloom.[edit]The Murder of One [3.18]Damon: Morning, sunshine.Elena: Hey. How's Alaric?Damon: Indecent, but fine.Elena: Does that mean there were no issues last night?Damon: Nope, slept like a baby, woke up Alaric, no headlines about dead council members.Elena: Then why do I feel like you're hiding something from me?Damon: Well, maybe because you're being paranoid and control freaky. What'd you bring me? Ooh, chocolate muffins. You know what they say, the way to a psycho killer's heart is through his stomach.Elena: They're not for you.Damon: Fine. Keep convincing yourself that you're still mad at me. But sadly, Ric is gonna have to miss Elena time today. You know, lockdown and all.Elena: Just, take it to him and tell him I miss him, okay?Damon: We use the quarterback to distract her. Just keep her talking.Matt: How?Damon: Act interested. She's lonely, desperate.Caroline: Clearly, she slept with you.Damon: No last minute attacks of pity for any of them.Elenea: Don't worry about me. Not after what happened to Bonnie's mom.Damon: Barbie?Caroline: Oh, Im ready. Anything that will free Tyler of his sire bond to Klaus.Damon: Lost boy?Matt: Do I have a choice?Damon: Good point.Alaric: I mean did you learn nothing from the moonstone in the soap dish?Klaus: I wouldn't let it bother you, love.Bonnie: Well, it does bother me. You bother me.Caroline: I miss well-adjusted Stefan.Rebekah: Nik, he's my play thing, not yours.Rebeka: The Salvatore's may fight like dogs but in the end, they would die for each other. At least they know what family means.you destroyed ours.
Klaus: I wanted a family. They just didn't want me. And now, we're unlked. We're no longer responsible for each other.Elena: You haven't said much since you got home.Stefan: Ill be a ball of sunshine once Damon get Alarik's stake back. Promise.
Damon: Are you telling me that your vampire hating alter-ego has a stake that can kill an entire line of vampires, possibly mine?[edit]Heart of Darkness [3.19]Elena: Well, you still need the basics. Toothbrush. Clothes. Some boring books to help you sleep.Alaric: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde?Alaric: What's Klaus gonna do if he can't find it?Elena: It's the only thing that can kill him, so...wage war, murder people...you know, Klaus stuff.Damon: I like that confidence, Stefan. I don't share it, but I like it.Stefan: You know they're going to do what it takes?Damon: Well, your good Stefan again; your under control. Sorry, you might get the girl, but you lose the edge. Speaking of...Stefan: Look, Elena needed to go on that road trip with Damon. No matter what I go through to get her back: fighting my blood-lust, trying to gain control of my life again; none of that matters if she has feelings for someone else.Damon: Next time we compel him, remind me to make him better at baseball.Jeremy: Fine. Can we talk about this later? My friend just got here, and yes Damon, I actually have some.Jeremy: So where are we?Damon: The corner of somewhere and nowhere where Kol can't find us.Tyler: You have no idea how much I've missed youAlaric: Who knows. Maybe his alter ego is some pot-smoking, hippie pacifist.Caroline: Right now, Damon is desperate to figure out which Original created our vampire blood-line. And if he finds out it wasn't Klaus, they're all going to kill him.Tyler: But Klaus turned me. So if he dies, I die.Caroline: I know that, they know that. The difference is, Damon doesn't care.Elena: Who is this Mary person?Damon: Scary Mary. Really old. Super creepy.Elena: And how do you know her?Damon: You know.Elena: Of course.Damon: What? I said creepy. Not ugly.Alaric: (Alaric's alter ego) Look at you. One of nature's most hideous creatures, and you can't even get that right.Stefan: I've been fighting that part of myself. Thinking that if I repress it, it would go away, but it won't. But now that I've excepted it, it can't control me. And neither can you. So unless your going to stake me, why don't you get the hell out of my house.Rose: They had a fight. I know you want to stop it. Protect her from it. But you're young, you don't see what I see. It's not just that she makes him a better person. And she does. He changes her too. Damon challenges her. Surprises her. He makes her question her life. Beliefs. Stefan is different. His love is pure. He'll always be good for her. Damon is either the best thing for her, or the worst.[edit]Do Not Go Gentle [3.20]Elena: I didn't tell you that so you could torture me with it.Caroline: What are friends for?Elena: Getting out of bed is dangerous these days. But we have to live our lives.Stefan: Hmm, who gave you that horrible advice?Elena: Some guy I use to date said it once or twiceTyler: What's he gonna do? Draw you another picture?Jeremy: Yeah, I know all about Alaric. When my sister stops hanging around vampires, I'll take it off.Jamie: Your friends seem pretty cool.Bonnie: They're the most important thing in the world to me.Jamie: Though, you got to admit. The whole circle of people, it's kind of crazy. I mean, there is vampire, werewolves...ex-boyfriends with magic rings?Damon: Sorry to spoil your seven minutes in Heaven.Ester: Vampires took everything from him. Now, he's getting his vengeance.Klaus: Where have you been, mate?Tyler: I just got back in town.Klaus: That's funny. I don't recall giving you permission to leave in the first place.Caroline: Why do you always have to prove you're the alpha male?Klaus: I don't have to prove anything, love. I am the alpha male.Klaus: You would have loved the 1920's, Caroline. Girls were reckless,sexy, fun. And literally use to dance until they dropped.Stefan: I don't suppose that ever happened to their dance partners.Klaus: What is this?Stefan: Your mother's back.Stefan: Aw, don't be stupid Klaus. Bonnie doesn't give a damn about us. The only reason she's helping is to save Caroline and Tyler. You start killing the people she cares about, she'll tell us all to go to hell.Damon: Your still mad at me for what happened to Abby. Let me apologize. I'm sorry Elijah forced us to turn you mother into a vampire to save Elana's life. Didn't exactly have a choice.Bonnie: There's always a choice. When ever you make one, some one else suffers.Klaus: Let's cut the dramatics and begin, shall we?Tyler: Klaus could get killed. And I die along with him.Stefan: No one's gonna die, ok?Caroline: Tyler, it doesn't matter how many times I dance with him. I love you.Klaus: Well, there were moments, real friendship. Brotherhood.Damon: Oh, he already has a brother. Not to be, you know, territorial or anything.Klaus: Oh, no, of course. The Salvatore brothers and their unshakable bond. I wonder what will happpen when Elena finally makes her choice. Will we see you shake, just a little bit?Stefan: We can handle this later, you know.Elena: No, I rather it over with now before some janitor comes to clean out Alaric's stuff and realizes the history teacher was a vampire slayer.Stefan: After I bit you I never wanted to feel anything again. But someone kept telling me that it was okay to feel. No matter how much it hurt. That our emotions are what make us human, good or bad. To never lose hopeElena: Who gave you that horrible advice?Stefan: Some girl I use to date.Elena: I dont have anyone anymoreStefan: You have me.Damon: Apparently my choices have been a bit controversial lately.Alaric: Is this the part where you give me a dream? Rainbows and rolling green hills?Damon: I was drunk when I told you that.Damon: Sorry I killed you. Twice.Alaric: So I have to actually die to get a real apology out of you.[edit]Before Sunset [3.21]Rebekah: You're supposed to be dead!Alaric: I am.Stefan: What do you mean he turned? I thought you were standing guard.Damon: Don't blame me! Blame Bonnie the blood bank.Klaus: That's why I'm here. I'm leaving town. Just need to pick up a few road trip necessities. Spare tire, flashlight... doppelganger.Klaus: Think you're probably going to want to let me in.Damon: [to Bonnie and Jeremy after Klaus throws a piece of a wooden fence] Get down! [to Klaus] Missed me! [after Klaus throws another piece] Missed me again!Klaus: You know, if this does go off and we drop the history teacher in the Atlantic,I'm still leaving with Elena.Stefan: I'll go with you.Klaus: Really. What's the catch?Stefan: There's no catch. I turn my back on everything here to make sure Elena's safe.Klaus: That is what makes you her better option.Damon: [about Abby]I'm sorry. I forgot about her stellar record in the dependability department.Abby: Why didn't I have to be invited in?Bonnie: Only vampires live here.Damon: We'd signed over the deed to Elena, but she died and the seal broke. And... it's a very long story. Blood?Abby: It's too dangerous. Your magic comes from the earth. It's pure. This spell asks you to tap into dark places. Places of temptation. Places you can't handle.Bonnie: You turned your back on me for 16 years. You have no idea what I can handle.Damon: Got to say I'm team Bonnie on this one. How hard can it be to parch a vampire?Abby: To stop a vampire's heart, you need to find a balance among the living. Can you handle that?Damon: What? What does that mean? Bonnie, I don't speak witch.Bonnie: I have to stop a human heart.Klaus: Before we all walk through these doors lets get on the same page, shall we? I created your vampire bloodline, therefor I am responsible for your lives. And Tyler"s life, Caroline's life. And of course, Abby's life. Should anything go wrong.Damon: Or your just lying t o save your ass.Klaus: I'm not lying. But go ahead, call my bluff--let the teacher kill me, You'll all be dead soon thereafter.Alaric: [About Caroline] She's a murderer. She told me she killed someone and liked it.Elena: [holding a knife to her throat] Stop! Let him go or I'll kill myself.Alaric: Put it down.Elena: Why? Because you still need me alive? There's a reason why Esther used me to make you, isn't there? She didn't want you to be immortal. So she tied your life to a human one--mine. That way, you only have one lifespan to kill all vampires, and then you'll be gone. So when I die, you die, too. That's it! It has to be.Alaric: You're wrong.Elena: Am I?Alaric: Klaus is going to kill Elena.Damon: What?Stefan: What are you talking about? Klaus needs Elena's blood to make hybrids. She's the last person that he'd kill.Alaric: The witch bound my life to Elena's. If she dies, I die. Klaus figured that out, and now he's taken her. Now I'm trapped here until the sun goes down, so you two better get to what you do best-- saving Elena's life.Elena: What about your hybrids? You'll need more than this to create your army?Klaus: These last few liters will have to suffice. You see... by attempting to kill us, my mother strengthened the bond between my siblings and I. I don't need hybrids. I have my family.Elena: If you believe that, why take my blood at all? [pause] You want a back-up family. You know that your siblings will never trust you again.Klaus: You know Stefan blames me for trying to tear him from his brother? But I think we both know who really came between them. You. That's why you won't choose. You know once you pick a Salvatore, you'll destroy their bond. Consider this me doing you a favor. Once you're dead, you won't have to choose. No broken hearts. Their family stays intact. But just between us girls, who would you have picked?Elena: Rot in hell.Klaus: Hm. You're welcome.Klaus: So much for that sire bond.Tyler: I'm not you're little bitch anymore.Stefan: What?Damon: How many desiccated hybrids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?Stefan: You're in a good mood.Damon: Yeah, I'm in a good mood. Klaus is dead, my brother is halfway to sane--again. Give or take an immortal hunter that wants to kill us. We won, Stefan. Come on, say it. Say it! We won.Stefan: [dryly] We won.Damon: Once more, with feeling!Stefan: [more forcefully] We won.Elena: Mom and Dad were right. Alaric should just kill all the vampires and put an end to all of this. But then that means that Caroline dies. And Bonnie loses her mom. The Mayor loses her son. And I lose Stefan and Damon. So if it makes me the bad guy for wanting to keep those people alive, then fine. I'll be the bad guy.Jeremy: You're forgetting that Alaric never wanted any of this. Once he carries out his plan, what if he doesn't want to live anymore? And he kills his human connection to end his life. That would mean I would lose you. I'm not going to let that happen.[edit]The Departed [3.22]Damon: You did what?Jeremy: I took her to the hospital. When you find your sister unconscious, you call 9-1-1.Damon: Not when you have a parade of vampires at your disposal.Damon: Have I told you lately how much I appreciate you not being the dumbest brother on Earth?Damon: Our life is one big proverbial coin toss.Caroline: Now what can I get you? Do you want some tea? Maybe some vodka? Both will help you sleep. [Elena sighs] I know. I'm being smothering. It's what I do.Elena: [chuckles] No. It's..it's nice.Caroline: [chuckles] I'm thinking... maybe tea with vodka[flashback]Bonnie: You didn't say it back.Elena: What?Bonnie: You know what. You can't string him along, Elena. If you're not into it anymore, just...tell him.Elena: I'm sorry that I strung you along. I should have figured out what I wanted, and just been honest about it. And now I'm making the same mistakes with Stefan and Damon. It's not right, what I'm doing to them, either. I--I have to let one of them go.Matt: Which one?Matt: Why should she help you? All you've done is screw her over.Elijah: And for that I am deeply ashamed. But know this--she could have been the instant I walked through that door tonight. So, Elena, I leave it to you to decide whether to trust me or not.Damon: [over the phone,yelling] Not! Hello! Did that concussion give you brain damage?Damon: I'm not halfway out of Virginia and Elena sells our souls to the Originals?Bonnie: It's her call.Damon: You know what else is her call? Everything bad ever.Bonnie: Where's the body? As long as it's unspoiled, Alaric is one witch away from finding him.Damon: Hidden. I was going to use Unit 666, but I figured that would be a little obvious. So... 1020. Mini fridge, a couple of bird cages, box full of Playboys. One beef jerkified Original.Damon: Bonnie just left. Rebekah should be here soon to pick up the body.Stefan: I got Caroline and Elijah in place. Jeremy's gonna lead Alaric to us.Damon: You just had to let her make the choice, didn't you?Stefan: What would you have done, Damon?Damon: Grabbed her, gagged her, threw her in a well. I don't know, anything other than let her trust Elijah!Stefan: [chuckles] You know she'd just hate you for it, right?Damon: Yet she'd be alive and she'd hate me. Thus the eternal difference between you and me. BrotherDamon: [to who he thinks is Rebekah] It's about time, sexy bex.Damon: Call me if you cough up a lung.Elena: We have to go back. Listen to me, Matt. If Klaus is the one that turned their bloodline, then they're all gonna die. [shouting] We have to go back, Matt!Matt: Elena...Elena: What?Matt: Damon's not with them.Elena: What?Matt: He's a hundred miles out of town. I can keep driving to him, or I can turn around and go back to Stefan. It's your choice.Damon: Since I'm possibly a dead man, can I ask you a question?Elena: Yeah, of course.Damon: If it was just down to him and me, and you had to make a choice who got the good-bye... who would it be?Elena: I love him, Damon. He came into my life at a time when I needed someone, and I fell for him instantly. And no matter what I feel for you, I... I never un-fell for him.Damon: Hey, I get it. It's Stefan. It's always going to be Stefan.Elena: I can't think about '"always". All I can think about is right now. And I care about you, Damon. Which is why I have to let you go. I mean, maybe if you and I had met first...Damon: Maybe.[flashback]Elena: [on the phone] I know Bonnie, you're right. You and my mom both are. I just can't bring myself to tell him. At least not tonight. I'll call you later.Damon: (under the impression Elena is Katherine) Katherine.Elena: Um...no. I-- I'm Elena.Damon: Oh. You-- you just look... I'm sorry. You just really remind me of someone. I'm Damon.Elena: Not to be rude or anything, Damon, but it's kind of creepy that you're out here in the middle of nowhere.Damon: You're one to talk. You're out here all by yourself.Elena: It's Mystic Falls. Nothing bad ever happens here. (gestures to her phone) I got into a fight with my boyfriend.Damon: 'Bout what? May I ask.Elena: Life, the future. He's got it all mapped out.Damon: And you don't want it?Elena: I don't know what I want.Damon: Well, that's not true. You want what everybody wants.Elena: What? A Mysterious stranger who has all the answers?Damon: Hmm. Well, let's just say I've been around a long time. I've learned a few things.Elena: So, Damon... tell me. What is it that I want?Damon: (telling Elena what kind of guy she reaal yneeds in her life)You want a love that consumes you. You want passion and adventure, and even little danger.Elena: So what do you want?Damon: Ah... [horn honks]Elena: That's my parents.Damon: I want you to get everything you're looking for. But right now I want you to forget that this happened. I can't have people knowing I'm in town yet. Good night, Elena.Damon: Where is she?Meredith: Damon…Damon: Where is she?Meredith: Wait! You need to know, when Jeremy brought Elena in here earlier tonight, her injuries were worse than I let on. It wasn’t a concussion. It was a cerebral hemorrhage. Bleeding on the brain.Damon: What are you saying?Meredith: He was so worried, I didn’t want to tell him. But, I helped her. She needed my help.Damon: You what?
[Pilot] [1.01]Stefan: For over a century, I have lived in secret. Hiding in the shadows, alone in the world. Until now. I'm a vampire and this is my story.
Bonnie: Hold up, who's this?Elena: All I see is back.Bonnie: It's a hot back! I'm sensing Seattle and he plays a guitar.Elena: You're really going to run this whole psychic thing into the ground, huh? Bonnie: Pretty much.
Elena: [about Matt] He hates me.Bonnie: That's not hate. That's "You dumped me but I'm too cool to show it, but secretly I'm listening to Air Supply's greatest hits.
"Elena: People are going to stop giving you breaks, Jeremy. They just don't care any more. They don't remember that our parents are dead, they have their own lives to deal with. The rest of the world has moved on. You should try to.Jeremy: I've seen you in the cemetery writing in your diary. Is that... is that supposed to be you moving on?
Caroline: His name is Stefan Salvatore. He lives with his uncle up at the old Salvatore boarding house. He hasn't lived here since he was a kid. Military family, so they moved around a lot. He's a Gemini and his favorite color is blue.Bonnie: You got all that in one day?Caroline: Please. I got all that between third and fourth period. We're planning a June wedding
.Stefan: I know it's late, but I needed to know if you're okay.Elena: You know, for months, that's all everyone's wondered about me, if I'll be OK.Stefan: What do you tell them?Elena: That I'll be fine.Stefan: Do you ever mean it?Elena: Ask me tomorrow. (Stefan stares at her) It's warmer in the house, we can talk. Would you like to come in?Stefan: (smiles) Yes.
Zach: You promised. (shows him the newspaper with the news of the attack)Stefan: This was an animal attack.Zach: Don't give me that. I know the game - you turned them up enough and they always suspect an animal attack. You said you had it under control.Stefan: And I do.Zach: Please Uncle Stefan. Mystic Falls is a different place now, it's been quiet for years but there are people who still remember and you being here its just going to stir things up.Stefan: It's not my intention.Zach: Then what is? Why did you come back after all this time? Why now?Stefan: I don't have to explain myself.Zach: I know that you can't change who you are, but you don't belong here anymore.Stefan: Where do I belong?Zach: I can't tell you what to do. But coming back here was a mistake
.Damon: Your hairs different, I like it.Stefan: It's been 15 years, Damon.Damon: Thank god! Couldn't take another day of the 90's. That horrible grunge look did not suit you. Remember Stefan, it's important to stay away from fads.
Stefan: What are you doing here?Damon: I missed my little brother.Stefan: You hate small towns, they're boring there's nothing for you to do.Damon: I've been keeping myself busy.Stefan: You left that girl alive tonight. That was very careless of you.Damon: Yeah, that could be a problem... for you
.Damon: Is it working? Being in her world? Does it make you feel alive?
Damon: I was impressed. I'll give it a six. Missing style, but I was pleasantly surprised. Very good with the whole face thing, it was good.Stefan: It's all fun and games, huh Damon? But wherever you go, people die.Damon: That's a given.Stefan: Not here, I won't allow it.Damon: I take that as an invitation.
Stefan: Damon, please, after all these years, can't we just give it a rest.Damon: I promised you an eternity of misery, so I'm just keeping my word.
Stefan: Stay away from Elena.Damon: I take that as an invitation.
Stefan's journal:I shouldn't have come home. I know the risk. But I had no choice. I have to know her.
I lost control today. Everything I've kept buried inside came rushing to the surface. I'm simply not able to resist her.
I had a plan. I wanted to change who I was, create a life as someone new, someone without the past. Someone alive.
They follow you. You can't escape them - as much as you want to.
Elena's diary:Dear Diary, Today will be different. It has to be. I will smile, and it will be believable. My smile will say, "I'm fine, thank you. Yes, I feel much better." I will no longer be the sad little girl that lost her parents. I will start fresh, be someone new. It's the only way I'll make it through.
Dear Diary, I made it through the day. I must have said "I'm fine, thanks" at least 37 times. And I didn't mean it once. But no one noticed. When someone asks "How are you?", they really don't want an answer.
Dear Diary, I couldn't have been more wrong. I thought that I could smile and nod my way through it, pretend like it would all be okay.
Without the pain. Someone alive. But it's not that easy. Bad things stay with you.
All you can do is be ready for the good, so when it comes, you invite it in. Because you need it. I need it.
The Night of the Comet [1.02]Bonnie: I was talking to Grams, and she said that the comet is a sign of impending doom. The last time it pasted over Mystic Falls there was lots of death, so much blood and carnage it created a bed of paranormal activity.Caroline: Yeah, then you poured Grams another shot and she told you about the aliens.Elena: We never got to the texting part.Bonnie That's an important part in any relationship.Jenna: Eat anyway. It's a rouse. I wanna talk.Damon: Were you successful? Did the powers of persuasion work? Remember if you don’t feed properly, none of those little tricks work right.Stefan: How long was Elena here?Damon: Are you worried, Stefan? Scared we may be doomed to repeat the past? Isn’t that why you play your little game ‘I’m a high school human’?Stefan: I’m not playing any game.Damon: Of course you are. We both know the closest you’ll ever get to humanity is when you rip it open and feed on it.Elena: He [Damon] told me about your ex, Katherine?Stefan: What did he say?Elena: She broke your heart.Stefan: It was a long time ago.Elena: When you lose someone, it stays with you. Always reminding you of how easy it is to get hurt.Stefan: Elena…Elena : It's okay, Stefan. I get it. You have no idea how much I get it. Complicated brother? Check. Complicated Ex? Check. Too complicated to even contemplate dating? Double check. It's okay. We met and we talked and it was epic, but then the sun came up and reality set in.Vicki: I know you.Damon: Well, that's unfortunate.Damon: You have two choices. You can feed and make her forget. Or you can let her run screaming vampire through the town square.Stefan: That's what this is about? You wanna expose me?Damon: No! I want you to remember who you are!Stefan: Why? So what, so I'll feed, so I'll kill, so I'll remember what it's like to be brothers again? You know what, let her go. Let her tell everyone that vampires have returned to Mystic Falls, let them chain me up and let them drive a stake through my heart, 'cause then at least I'll be free of you.Damon: It's good to be home. I think I might stay awhile, this town could use a bit of a wake up call, don't you think?Stefan: What are you up to, Damon?Damon: That's for me to know and to you to... dot, dot, dot.Elena: So the thing is, I got home tonight planning on doing what I always do. Write in my diary, like I have been since my mother gave me one when I was 10. It's where I get everything out and it all goes in this one little book, that I hide on the 2nd shelf behind this really hideous ceramic mermaid. But then I realized I would justwriting things I should probably be talking about.Stefan: What would you write?Elena: I would write, Dear Diary, Today I convinced myself it's okay to give up. Don't take risks. Stick with the status quo, no drama. Now just isn't the time. But my reasons aren't reasons they're excuses. All I'm doing is hiding from the truth and the truth is, I'm scared Stefan. I'm scared that if I let myself be happy for one moment, that the my worlds going to come crashing down and I don't know if I'll be able to survive that.Stefan: Do you want to know what I would write? I met a girl, we talked and it was epic. Then the sun came up and reality set in. Well, this is reality... right here.[edit]Friday Night Bites [1.03]Elena: That throw was insane! I didn't know you play football.Stefan: I used to, it was a long time ago.Elena: So why don't you try out for the team?Stefan: Yeah, I don't think so.Elena: So you don't like football?Stefan: No I love football, I think it's a great sport but in this case I don't think football likes me. You saw Tyler over there and we both know how Matt feels.Elena: They don't know you. To them your just mysterious loner guy. Wouldn't hurt to be a part of the team, make some friends.Stefan: Says the girl who spends her alone time writing in a cemetery.Elena: Hey, come on, there's more to me then just gloomy graveyard girl. There's a whole another Elena you have yet to meet. She was into everything, very busy.Stefan: Well I look forward to meeting her, and when will that be?Elena: Soon. She's working on it.Bonnie: Fine. Well, how about this. Today, I’m obsessed with numbers. Three numbers. I keep seeing 8, 14 and 22. How weird is that?Elena: Maybe we should play the lottery?Stefan: They are people, Damon. She's not a puppet - she doesn't exist for your amusement... for you to feed on whenever you want to.Damon: Sure she does. They all do. They're whatever I want them to be. They're mine for the taking.Stefan: It's time for you to go.Damon: That's not a problem. Because I've been invited in. And I'll come back tomorrow... and the following night.Matt Donovan: This week a practice I was a dick.Stefan: You had your reasons.Matt Donovan: No excuse. Good luck, we're lucky to have you.[Matt and Stefan shake hands and Matt walks away]Damon: Isn't that nice. Stefan joins a team and makes a friend. It's all so Rah-Rah go team, Yeah!Stefan: Not tonight, I'm done with you.Damon: Nice trick with Elena. Let me guess, Vervain in the necklace. I admit I was a bit surprised, it's been a while for anyone to resist my compulsion. Where'd you get it?Stefan: Does it matter?Damon: Guess I could seduce her the old fashion way or I could just... eat her.Stefan: No, your not going to hurt her Damon.Damon: No?Stefan: Because deep down inside there is a part of you that feels for her. I was worried that you had no humanity left inside you, that you had actually become that monster you pretend to be.Damon: Who's pretending?Stefan: Then kill me.Damon: Well, I'm tempted.Stefan: No, your not. You've had life times to do it and yet, here I am. I'm still alive and there you are. Your still haunting me after 145 years. Katherine is dead and you hate me because you loved her and you torture me because you still so. And that, my brother, is your humanity.[edit]Family Ties [1.04]Damon: I just wanna let you know they caught the culprit. The animal responsible for killing coach Tanner and all those people.Stefan: What are you talking about?Damon: It was a mountain lion... really big one. It attacked a hunter this morning. It’s all over the news: “Deadly beast captured. All is well in Mystic Falls.”Damon: What's so special about this Bella girl anyway? Edward's so wipped.Caroline: You have to read the first book first, otherwise it won't make sense.Damon: Uh, I miss Ann Rice, she was so on it.Caroline: Hey, how come you don't sparkle?Damon: Because I live in the real world where vampires burn in the sun.Caroline: Yeah, but you go in the sun.Damon: I have a ring, it protects me. Long story.Caroline: Are these bites going to turn me into a vampire?Damon: It’s more complicated than that. You have to feed on my blood then die, then feed on a human, it’s a whole ordeal. This book, by the way, has it all wrong.Stefan: Can’t touch her [Elena] now.Damon: Well, the Vervain keeps me out of her head.. maybe that’s not my target. Believe it or not, Stefan, some girls don’t need my persuasion. Some girls just can’t resist my good looks, my style and my charm... and my unflinching ability to listen to Taylor Swift.Damon: [after Stefan stabbed him through the t-shirt] This is John Varvatos, dude. Dick move.Damon: I like being the eternal stud.Stefan: Yes being a one hundred and fifty year old teenager has been the height of My happiness.Damon: I'm not some drunk sorority chick. You can't roofie me.Damon: I'm going to have to go to the party upset. Who knows what I'll do?Stefan: (to himself) The real animal is still out there. Waiting for me, challenging me to fight back to stop him. But how do I stop the monster without becoming one myself?Logan: I know you. You have a lot more insults in you, I can tell.Jenna: Your hairline’s receding.Logan: No, it’s not. You wanna have lunch?Jenna: Nope.Logan: You haven’t changed a bit.Jenna: Oh, yes I have. I’m meaner now.Caroline: (about Stefan and Elena) They look.. so.. cute together.Damon: Don’t talk, please…Elena: Look, you’re the mystery guy and I like that. But with mystery comes secrets.. and this thing with Katherine…Stefan: You know, let it go. I don’t wanna talk about it.Elena: Well, then say something about yourself.. anything. Otherwise, I’m left with nothing but what other people tell me.Stefan: Look, there are things that you don’t know, okay? Things that I want to tell you but I can’t, and I may never be able to.. and I just need you to trust me.Elena: Trust is earned. I can’t just magically hand it over.Stefan: I did what I had to do.. to protect Elena.. to protect everyone. Yes, Damon, the headline reads: “Deadly beast captured. All is well in Mystic Falls.”[edit]You're Undead To Me [1.05]Elena: Jenna, are you aware of what’s going on upstairs?Jenna: Uhuh…Elena: And... you have no objection?Jenna: He [Jeremy] could be craftier about it. At least make an effort to sneak her. [Vicki] in and out.Jenna: Have you called him [Stefan]?Elena: Nope, not going to either.Jenna: And you’re okay with everything?Elena: No, I’m not okay with any of it. I’m not gonna cry about it either. Honestly, I’m not gonna be one of those pathetic girls whose world stops spinning because of some guy.Zach: You appear unannounced, reminding me that this isn’t my house, that you’re just permitting me to live here. Hell, that you’re permitting me to live.Damon: Someone had to mow the lawn.Elena: I think there’s something that he doesn’t want me to know which... makes me wanna know all the more.Matt: Like what? Like that he’s a serial killer and he keeps a clown suit in his trunk?Stefan: Talk to who? I'm so sorry that I'm late.Elena: What happened?Stefan: I got held up.Elena: Is everything okay?Stefan: There’s this thing with my uncle.Elena: And you couldn't call and tell me you’re going to be an hour late.Stefan: I’m really sorry. It was unavoidable.Elena: What was unavoidable? (Stefan looks down) Okay.Stefan: No. Er. Elena please.Elena: No, Stefan don't you get it every question gets a vague non-answer. What is so awful that your afraid to tell me?Stefan Hey, can I take you home. And, and we can talk about all this. Is that okay?Elena: Wait, what was that?Stefan: I, I, Dunno. Nothing.Elena: Right. Nothing. Okay am I gotta go Stefan.Stefan: (to Elena) You wanna know me, right? Well, I figure if you’re gonna dump me, you should at least... uhmm... know who you’re dumping.Stefan: I do know that I did some things that.. I’m not proud of. And my biggest regret.. is not being able to make it right before she died.Stefan: You know what? I even like that one Miley song. Easy…Elena: I didn’t say anything.Elena: Uhmm.. I think that my paranoia has turned into full blown hallucinations.Stefan: Part of your charm.Logan: (to Elena) Hi.. Elena, right? I think I met you once when you were nine.Jenna: Your emotional maturity level.. when we were together.Logan: Ouch! And here I thought we’re making progress.Logan: Wait.. One condition. Dinner, tonight, your house.Jenna: Fine.. but you’re eating leftovers.Logan: Oooh…Matt: (to Stefan) Hey.. I’m not saying this for you, I’m saying it for her [Elena]. But, she’s big on trust. So, whatever you’re holding back from her, the more you try to hide it, the more she won’t stop ’til she figures it out.Sheriff Forbes: Honey, are you okay? Anything you wanna talk about? Is it a boy thing???Caroline: Mom, if I wanna talk boys, I’ll call dad. At least he’s successfully dating one.Elena: Dear Diary, I’m not a believer. People are born, they grow old and then they die. That’s the world we live in. There’s no magic, no mysticism, no immortality. There is nothing that defies rational thought. It’s not possible. I’m not a believer, I can’t be. But how can I deny what’s right in front of me? Someone who never grows old.. never gets hurt.. someone who changes in ways that can’t be explained. Girls bitten.. bodies drained of blood..Elena: (to Stefan) What are you ?[edit]Lost Girls [1.06]Elena: What are you?Stefan: You know.Elena: No. I don't.Stefan: Yes, you do, or you wouldn't be here.Elena: It's not possible. It can't be.Stefan: Everything you know, and every belief that you have is about to change. Are you ready for that?Elena: What are you?Stefan: [pause] I'm a vampire.Elena: I shouldn't have come.Stefan: No....please...pleaseElena: No! [Turns and runs towards her car]........How did you do that?Stefan: Please don't be afraid of me.Stefan: I’ll explain everything to you but I beg you, Elena.. do not tell anybody.Elena: How can you ask me that?Stefan: Because you knowing this is dangerous! For so many reasons. You can hate me.. but I need you to trust me.Elena: Just go.. just go, please.. go. If you mean me no harm then you’ll go.Stefan: I never wanted this.Damon: Where are you, Stefan? I’m trapped, at the house, and I’m getting really bored and really impatient and I don’t do bored and impatient.Damon: I want my ring.Stefan: Where are you you?Damon: I'm at the sizzler. I had the buffet. Where's my ring?Stefan: I don't have it. Where are you? What have you done?Damon: Nooo, what have YOU done? Your the one that locked me in the basement and starved me so whatever I've done... whoever I've sucked dry is on you buddy.Stefan: You're being careless. How many more animal attacks is this town gonna believe huh?Damon: I know how to cover my tracks Stefan! Where's my ring?!Stefan: I gave it to Zach to hide. You probably shouldn't have killed him.Damon: Ahhh, you almost got me. Where is it?Stefan: I'll get it back. But I need time.Damon: What.. did you Fed-Ex it to Rome?! Where is it?! I want my ring, Stefan.. or my next stop’s Elena’s.Stefan: I already want you dead, don’t give me another reason to make it happen.Damon: Don’t give me another reason to rip you apart.Stefan: Yeah? Is that gonna be before or after you get your ring back?Damon: Just get it…Stefan: Elena.. give me today. I will answer any questions that you have, and when it’s over, you can decide for yourself what you wanna do with what you know. It’ll be your choice.Elena: What are we doing here?Stefan: I wanna show you something.Elena: In the middle of nowhere???Stefan: This.. didn’t use to be nowhere. This used to be my home.Stefan: What Damon wants, Damon usually gets.Elena: So how...?Stefan: I've been 17 years old since 1864.Stefan: That's the thing about Damon. He doesn't get mad. He just gets even.Elena: You knew Katherine in 1864? Damon made it seem like...Stefan: Damon was trying to make you think that I was still heart-broken. He saw that I was happy with you and he wanted to ruin it.Elena: All because you loved the same woman, a hundred and... forty-five years ago ?Stefan: That necklace.. contains an herb called Vervain. It protects you from being compelled. I wanted to protect you from Damon’s influence. But I also wanted to protect you from me.Vicki: Don't you wanna be in love?Damon: I've been in love. It's painful, pointless and overrated.Damon: No more talking. Let's dance!Damon: I think I know what can help you.Vicki: What’s that?Damon: Death.Stefan: Right now, she doesn’t remember anything, a part of her’s still human. Slowly, the deeper she gets into the transition, the memories will start to come back, and then she’ll know she has to make the choice.Elena: The same choice you made?Damon: May I come in? Oh wait, of course I can, I’ve been invited.Damon: I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess, Stefan finally fessed up.Damon: Don’t look at me with those judgey little eyes. That girl is gonna thank me for what I did to her.Elena: Did you thank Katherine?Damon: Got the whole life story, huh?Elena: I got enough.Damon: Oh, I doubt that.Damon: Tip for later; be careful who you invite in the houseDamon: (when Logan tried to kill Stefan and Damon saved him) If anyone’s gonna kill you it’s gonna be me.Stefan: I’ll take care of it.. I’ll find her and I will show her that she can live like I do, I’m gonna make sure that she does not hurt anybody, Elena, I promise you…Elena: What do I tell my brother, and.. and Matt?!Stefan: We’ll come up with a story.Elena: You mean we’ll come up with a lie?Stefan: I’m so.. sorry…Elena: I gave you today just like you asked. And I understand that you would never do anything to hurt me and I promise I will keep your secret but.. I can’t be with you, Stefan. I’m sorry I.. I just can’t.[edit]Haunted [1.07]Damon: You... don’t talk.Tyler: Screw you, dude!Damon: Dude??? Really?.. Dude???Elena: You shouldn’t skip school. If they find her [Vicki] we’ll know. That’s what cellphones are for.Jeremy: Your lips keep moving, I don't know why.Vicki: What is it?Stefan: It’s what you’re craving.Damon: Huh! Don’t lie to the girl. It’s so not what you’re craving but it’ll do in a pinch. Right, Stef?Vicki: What is it???Damon: Yeah, what is it? Is it skunk? St. Bernard? Bambi???Damon: Don’t listen to him [Stefan]. He walks in a moral plane way out of our eye line. I say.. snatch, eat, erase…Stefan: We choose our own path. Our values and our actions, they define who we are.Damon: Okay.. Count Deepak! I am outta here.Elena: Is Stefan here?Damon: Yup.Elena: Where is he?Damon: And good morning to you, little miss ‘I’m on a mission’.Elena: How can you be so arrogant and glib after everything that you’ve done?Damon: And how can you be so brave and stupid to call a vampire arrogant and glib?Elena: If you wanted me dead, I'd be dead.Damon: Yes, you would.Elena: But I’m not.Damon: Yet.Elena: Where is Stefan?Damon: He's upstairs. Singing "The Rain In Spain". Knock yourself out.Vicki: This daylight thing is a bitch! I need more blood!.. Where’s your bathroom? I have to pee.. Why do I have to pee I thought I was dead???Vicki: You did this to me out of boredom???Damon: It’s one of the pitfalls of eternity.Vicki: Now I’m bored!Damon: Well, your life was pathetic, your afterlife doesn’t have to be.Stefan: She [Vicki] could hurt someone.Damon: I’m not taking her to Disneyland. We’re going to the front yard.Damon: Come on, Vicki... Live a little... No pun intended.Elena: People die around you. How could it not matter?! It matters and you know it…Damon: You confuse me with someone with remorse.Jeremy: Why does everybody have to die on me?Elena: Are you okay?Stefan: I, uh…I wanted to help her. But instead, uh… How’s he doing?Elena: He’s a mess. I don’t want him going through this again. He’s just a kid.Stefan: Elena, what can I do? What can I do to help? I’ll do anything.Elena: Can you make him forget?Stefan: Elena...Elena: Stefan, please. I don’t know how he’ll ever get past this. I just want him to forget everything that happened.Stefan: If I did it there’s no guarantee that it will work…because of who I am, because of how I live. I don’t have the ability to do it right.Damon: I can do it. If this is what you want…I’ll do it.Elena: It’s what I want.Damon: What do you want him to know?Elena: I want you to tell him that Vicki left town. And she’s not coming back, that he shouldn’t look for her or worry about her. He’s gonna miss her, but he knows it’s for the best.(Damon walks in the house. Elena sits by Stefan)Elena: Part of me wants to forget, too. Forget meeting you, finding out what you are and everything that happened since.Stefan: If that’s what you want.Elena: Yes, it is. Because I don’t want it to be like this. I don’t wanna feel like this. But I can’t. With everything that happened... I can’t lose the way I feel about you.(Damon walks out of the house. Elena looks at him)Damon: It’s done.[edit]162 Candles [1.08]Lexi: Well let’s hope she’s [Elena] better than the last girl you got a sprung over.Stefan: You didn’t even know Katherine.Lexi: ‘Cause if I did I’d kick her ass.. old bitch. Speaking of.. where’s Damon???Stefan: Inflicting misery somewhere.Stefan: Katherine and Elena may look the same on the outside, but on the inside they are completely different.Lexi: Oh.. so Elena’s not a raging bitch then, huh?Lexi: So.. this Elena girl. She’ll come around, I’m sure of it. Have you had sex yet???Stefan: No…Lexi: Sex always works. I mean, you’ll rock her world so hard with your vamp sex she’ll be yours forever.Stefan: Well, you see this isn’t about.. sex or.. or compulsion or any of our other tricks. She has to want to be with me on her own terms.Lexi: Wow.. that’s sounded all mature and grown up.Stefan: Well, I’m not getting any older.(...)Stefan: Elena is warm and kind and caring and selfless and it's real. When I'm around her, I completely forget where I am.Lexi: Oh my God… You’re in love with her.Stefan: Yup… Yeah I am…Lexi: Wow…Damon: Hello Lexi.. what an unexpected surprise.Lexi: Unexpected surprise? I think the wrong brother went back to high school.Damon: Aww… You mean you didn’t come all this way to see me?Lexi: That’s it, Damon. After a century, I finally realize death means nothing without you. Do me.Damon: Why are you so mean to me?Lexi: Uh, have you met you? You’re not a nice person.Damon: Well, because I’m a vampire.Lexi: But you’re only the bad parts.Jeremy: Want to keep it down over there?Jenna: Why, what are you doing?Jeremy: Homework.Elena: Since when do you do homework?Jeremy: I got to finish this, I'm way behind and I have a quiz tomorrow so.Elena: What do you think..Alien?Jenna: Some sort of replicate.Jeremy: He can hear you.Caroline: Well are you having a good time?Damon: Do you have my crystal???Caroline: No…Damon: Then I’m not having a good time.Stefan: (to Lexi) awkwardly dancing Just do me a favor… Tell me if you see Damon with his camera phone.Damon: Stefan smiles… Alert the media!Elena: You haven’t given him a lot of reasons to be happy lately.Damon: Does he get tired? Being so righteous?Elena: smirks It flares up in the presence of psychopaths.Damon: Ouch! Well consider this psychopath’s feeling hurt.Elena: What did you do to my brother?Damon: I’mma need a less vague question…Lexi: Ah. The famous Elena.Elena: Towel girl.Lexi: I've been called worse. Here.[Lexi hands Elena a shot of alcohol]Elena: I didn't know that you guys could drink.Lexi: Oh, yeah. It helps curb the cravings. But... makes for a lot of lushy vamps.Elena: You know, I've never seen Stefan drunk. He always seems so...Lexi: Uptight?Elena: Yeah.Lexi: Yeah.Elena: But not with you.Lexi: Well, that's the benefit of knowing someone for over a hundred years. You can just be yourself.Elena: Yeah, he can't be himself with me.Lexi: Well, not yet. The first step was him telling you. The rest comes with time.Elena: You seem so sure.Lexi: The love of my life was human. He went through what I imagine you're going through: denial, anger, et cetera. But at the end of the day, love really did conquer all.Elena: I’m scared…Lexi: But you’re here. ‘Cause you’re crazy about him. I get, okay? I mean.. what’s not to love?Lexi: When it’s real, you can’t walk away.Stefan: Thank you.Lexi: You weren't supposed to be listening. [pause] I was feeling epic. Whatever.Stefan: You came…Elena: I couldn’t miss your hundredth and.. whatever birthday.Caroline: Am I shallow?Matt: Is that a trick question?Caroline: I don't mean to be. Yeah, I wanna be deep. I wanna be like... the abyss deep.Matt: No offense, Car but... deep's really not your scene.Caroline: It's true. I’m shallow. I am worst than shallow. I’m a kiddie pool.Damon: I have a diabolical master plan.Lexi: What is it?Damon: Well if I told you it wouldn’t be very diabolical now, would it?Elena: Stefan, Stefan….Stefan: He killed her. He killed Zach. He killed Tanner. He turned Vicki. I have to kill him.Elena: No. You can't do that.Stefan: Why are you trying to save him? He's never gonna change. Don't you see that? He's never gonna change.Elena: I'm not trying to save him. I'm trying to save you. You have no idea what this will do to you. Please, Stefan.Stefan: Everywhere that I go, pain and death follow. Damon follows me. No more.Elena: Please. Please, just talk to me. Let me be here for you. Talk to me.Stefan: You were right to stay away from me.Damon: Come on. I did this for you to get them off our trail.Stefan: You never do anything for anyone but yourself.Damon: You missed.Stefan: You saved my life. I'm sparing yours. We're even. And now we're done.Damon: Rise and shine! You’ll be late for school!Stefan: What are you -- what are you doing?Damon: Peace offering. (Lifts a cup) C'mon, you need it for blood circulation. It does dead flesh good.(Stefan looks at him in silence)
Damon: Alright, I’m sorry.Stefan: Step aside, please.Damon: I got the town off our back. It was for the greater good -- but I’m sorry. And to prove it, I’m not going to feed on a human. For at least a ... week. I’ll adopt the Stefan diet. Only nothing with feathers.Stefan: (Mimicking Damon) Because I realize that killing your closest and oldest friend is beyond evil, and yet, somehow, it’s worthy of humor.Damon: Are you mimicking me?Stefan: (Mimicking Damon) Yes, Stefan. Now that the secret society of vampire haters is off our back, I can go back to my routine of how can I destroy Stefan’s life this week.Damon: (Mimicking Stefan) And I can go back to sulking and Elena-longing and forehead-brooding. (In his own voice) This is fun. I like this.Stefan: (Mimicking Damon) And I, will finally reveal the ulterior motive behind my evil and diabolical return to Mystic Falls.Damon:(Pause) Yeah. I’m done. (Mimicking Stefan). This is so like you Damon -- always have to have the last word.[edit]History Repeating [1.09]Matt: Hey.Caroline: Hey. What is that?Matt: What is what?Caroline: The "hey". That is twice. That is two heys. That's....do you have any other words in your vocabulary?Matt: What's wrong with hey?Caroline: It reeks of awkward subtext. You just spent the night in my bed. There was cuddling, then you snuck out before dawn so you wouldn't have to face me. Which I must say, is a total lame guy move. Which I did not appreciate. Now with the heys? Seriously? I mean, I may have been some pathetic, insecure mess after the party, but do not mistake that for me being a pushover. Because I do not let guys mess with my head anymore.Matt: I heard your mom in the morning. I didn't want to get you in trouble, so I went out the window.Caroline: You went out the window? Well another lame guy move.Matt: Your mom's a sheriff. And as for the heys, I'm pretty sure it's what I've said to you every day since the first grade.Caroline: Oh.Matt: Trying to read something into it, lame girl moveElena: I'm sorry Stefan, I thought that... I couldn't be with you but I can. You don't have to push me away - I can do this.Stefan: I can't. I, uh, I have to leave Elena. Too many people died. Too much has happened.Elena: What? No, I know you think you're protecting me but...Stefan: Elena, I have to. Coming back was... It was a mistake. I can't be a part of your life anymore.Elena: Don't go, Stefan. Please... You don't have to. This is your home, you just... Please don't go.Stefan: (after kissing Elena's hand) Goodbye Elena. (Turning his back and leaving, still in the woods)Elena: You're just gonna walk away? Don't walk away, Stefan. Stefan![edit]The Turning Points [1.10]Logan: See I know what you and your brother are. I've been watching the two of you. I knew you'd show up here. And I'm glad you did. Because I've some questions.Damon: Me first. Who turned you?Logan: How should I know? Last thing I remember is I'm about to stake your brother and then you grabbed me. That's it. Until I wake up in the ground behind a used car dealership on Highway 4. Somebody buried me.Damon: It happens.Logan: You bit me. It had to be you.Damon: You have to have vampire blood in your system, when you die. I didn't do that. Some other vampire found you. Gave you their blood.Logan: Who?Damon: That's what I wanna know.Logan: Dude! It's not like the welcome wagon was waiting with a bunk cake and a handbook. It's been a learn as you go process. One minute, I'm a small town, on the rise news guy, and the next thing I know, I can't get inside my house because my foot won't go through the door.Damon: You have to be invited in.Logan: I know. I live alone.Damon: Oh, that sucks.Elena: I'm guessing you're not here to plan path for your future. You're looking out for me.Stefan: Hope that's okay. (After a little while) You know I, uh, I wanted to be a doctor before everything happened. But I couldn't, this...Elena: The blood?Stefan: Yeah. I've dabbled in bunch of different things, though.Elena: Didn't love anything enough to stick to it?Stefan: No, I've loved it all, I just... I had to move on before anybody could notice that, I wasn't... Getting any older.Elena: How long before that would happen?Stefan: Few years usually. Sometimes shorter.Elena: And you always left?Stefan: I didn't have a choice. So! What about, what about you? What are your plans for the future?Elena: I don't want to talk about my future, Stefan. Because everything you're saying is making perfectly clear that you're not gonna be in it.Stefan: No, Elena, it's not that I don't want to be, it's...Elena: You can't, I get it. I heard you the first time, and the second time. And I appreciate you looking out for me, but, please, if you're gonna leave, then just go.Elena: What I said earlier, about you leaving... It was harsh.Stefan: No, no, you... You had every right.Elena: You asked me what I wanted my future to be. I wanted to be a writer. My mom sort of... pushed me into that direction from the time I was able to read. She supported me, encouraged me, bought me my first journal... and then she died. And I can't see myself being a writer any more. That was something that we shared. I know that you think that you brought all of this bad stuff into my life, but my life already had it. I was buried in it.Stefan: This is different.Elena: It doesn't make it any less painful.Stefan: I know that it's... That it's hard to understand, but I'm doing this for you. (Gets out of the car, leaving Elena inside)Elena: (Thinks, and gets out of the car, with a determined face) No. You don't get to make that decision for me. If you walk away, it's for you because I know what I want. Stefan I love you.[edit]Bloodlines [1.11]Damon: Good morning.Elena: Where are we?Damon: Georgia.Elena: Georgia? No. No, were not, Seriously, Damon, where are we?Damon: Seriously, we're, we're in Georgia.Damon: How are you feeling?Elena: I... I...Damon: There are no broken bones, I checked.Elena: My car... There was a man... I hit a man, but then he got up and... who was that?Damon: That's what I would like to know.Elena: Where is my phone? Okay, we really need to go back, nobody knows where I am. Pull over. I mean it Damon, pull over. Stop the car.Damon: Oh, you were so much more fun when you were asleep. (stops the car)Elena: [gets out of the car]Damon: [helps her]Elena: I'm fine... We have to go back.Damon: Oh, come on. We've already come this far.Elena: Why are you doing this? I can't be in Georgia. I... I wrecked my car. I have to go home. This is kidnapping.Damon: That’s a little melodramatic, don’t you think? [smiles]Elena: You're not funny. You can't do this. I'm not going to Georgia.Damon: Well you're in Georgia. [smiles] Without your magical necklace, I might add. I can very easily make you... agreeable. [smiles]Elena: What are you trying to prove?[Elena's phone rings]Elena: That’s my phone.Damon: Mmm... [looks at the phone] It's your boyfriend...[holds the phone out to her] I'll take it. [Answers] Elena's phone...Stefan: Where is she? Why do you have her phone? Is she okay?Damon: Elena? Yeah, she's right here. And, yes, she's fine.Stefan: Where are you? Let me talk to her.Damon: [to Elena] He wants to talk to you.Elena: Mm [shakes her head saying no]Damon: [to Stefan] Yeah, I, uh, I don't think she really wants to talk to you right now.Stefan: Damon, I swear to God if you touch her... [Interrupted by Damon]Damon: You have a good day, bye now...Elena: Look, no one knows where I am. Can we please just go back?Damon: We’re almost there.Elena: Where is there?Damon: It’s a little place, right outside of Atlanta. Oh, come on, Elena. You don’t want to go back right now do you? What’s the rush? Time-out. Trust me, the problem is still going to be there when you come home. Look, step away from your life, for 5 minutes. 5 minutes.Elena: Am I going to be safe with you?Damon: Yes.Elena: You promise not to do that mind-control-thing with me?Damon: Yes.Elena: Can I trust you?Damon: Get in the car. Come on.Elena: What about that man in the road? Was he a-?Damon: From what I can tell... yeah.Elena: You didn't know him?Damon: If I've never meet him, I wouldn't know him. It's not like we all hang out at the vamp bar and grill.Damon: Vampires can't procreate. But we love to try.Elena: Aw, do you need a bib?Damon: Sorry. I can't unhinge my jaw like a snake to consume alcohol.Elena: So, why did you bring me with you?Damon: Well, you're not the worst company in the world Elena. You should give yourself more credit.Elena: Seriously?Damon: You know, you were there in the road, all damsel in distress like. And I knew it'd piss off Stefan. And...you're not the worst company in the world Elena.Elena: I use to be more fun.Damon: You did okay.Elena: I saved your life.Damon: I know.Elena: And don't you forget it.[edit]Unpleasantville [1.12]Alaric: First person account of the Civil War? That's like porn for a history teacher.Bonnie: Which is why you should ask Jenna. First of all, the Elena I know, would always want the real truth. Good or bad.Elena: And second of all?Bonnie: You just found out that your boyfriend is a vampire. So unless your parents are aliens, how bad can it be?Bonnie: You tried to kill me.Damon: But I didn't. And if I wanted to, I would have. Does that not count for anything?Jeremy: I'm stuck on punch duty at the school dance.Anna: How'd you get stuck with that?Jeremy: I'm failing English- I copped a plea.Alaric: Can I get you a drink? I hear the punch is real... boss.Damon: Elena, would you like to dance?Elena: I would love to. (to Stefan) May I have this dance?Elena: [to Stefan] You are so teaching me how to hand-jive.Bonnie: Don't rain on my hot guy parade.Caroline: It's just a drizzle.Stefan: Now you remember that. Because it's never happening again.[edit]Children of the Damned [1.13][Stefan and Elena are in bed, holding each other. It's morning time.]
Elena: Good morning.Stefan: I could get used to this.Damon: Rise and shine, sleepy-heads!Stefan: What are you doing?!Elena: Damon, please!Damon: Oh, please, stop being smutty.Stefan: Seriously, get out of here.Damon: If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it. Now listen. Here's some very important business to discuss.Elena: And it has to be right now?Damon: We have lots to do, now that we're all friends and working towards a common goal. So, in order to open the tomb, we need to find the journal, to get the grimoire, to undo the spell. So, first things first, since you are Elena Gilbert, you're on journal duty.Elena: Since when am I helping?Damon: Well, Stefan's helping, and you've taken up residence in Stefan's bed, ergo...Stefan: You don't have to anything you don't want to do.Elena: I'll look for it today.Damon: Good.Stefan: How do we know that this journal will hold the location of the grimoire? Are we really gonna take the word of this vampire? He seemed like a bit of a dimwit.Damon: In lieu of any other options.Elena: Okay, what exactly is a grimoire, anyway?Damon: It's a witch's cookbook.Stefan: Every spell that a witch casts is unique unto itself, so every witch would document their work...Damon: Yeah. Cookbook.Stefan: What about our mystery vampire? 'Dimwit' obviously wasn't working alone. So, whoever's out there knows who we are.Damon: And I don't like that disadvantage. So. Chop chop! You know, I'm really liking this whole ménage threesome team thing. It's got a bit of a kink to it. Don't screw it up...Anna: Hey, it's me again. Anna. Stalker chick and foosball champion.Damon: Is she hot?Jeremy: Yeah, but she can be weird.Damon: Hot trumps weird. Trust me.Jenna: [About Damon] He is ridiculously hot!Elena: Shh! He's an ass.[Damon rolls his eyes]Stefan: You met Damon.Alaric: Who do you think killed my wife?[edit]Fool Me Once [1.14]Stefan: Anna took Elena.Damon: Yeah, I got that from your 600 voice mails.Stefan: What if your blood hasn't passed out of her system?Damon: Well, I guess you will see her again.Stefan: Please what do you know? You were with Anna - you must know where she's living. Just tell me where I can find her.Damon: No. You can go now.Stefan: [to Damon] All I can remember is hating you. There may been a time when that was different, but your choices have erased anything good about you. I also know that you have just as much reason to hate me. This all began with me. Katherine got taken away from you because of me... and I'm sorry.Damon: I mean this sincerely: I hope Elena dies.Elena: Do you really want Katherine out that bad?Anna: Trust me, nobody that I know wants to see that girl again, except Damon, the love-struck idiot.Damon: Stefan will come after you, you know that. For messing with Elena.Anna: Oh my god, it's like 1864 all over again. You Salvatores are truly pathetic when it comes to women.Stefan: Now we have to make Damon agree.Elena: He already agreed once.Stefan: Yes, and then we double-crossed him. So now he's angry.Elena: He's hurt. There's a difference.Damon: Fool me once, shame on you.Elena: Okay, when we were in Atlanta, why didn't you use your compulsion on me?Damon: Who says I didn't?Elena: You didn't. I know you didn't. But you could have. You and I... we have something... an understanding, and I know that my betrayal hurt you, different than when it comes from Stefan, but I'm promising that I will help you get Katherine back.Damon: I wish I can believe you.Elena: [removing her Vervain necklace] Ask me if I'm lying now.Damon: [placing her necklace back] I didn't compel you in Atlanta because we're having fun... I wanted it to be real. I'm trusting you - don't make me regret it.Damon: [greeting Stefan, Bonnie, and Sheila] Brother, witches...Anna: She knew where you were, Damon. She didn't care!Damon: She's not here.. She's not here she has to be here.Stefan: What?Damon: [Throws blood packet at wall] SHE'S NOT HERE!!!!Elena: You have to come now they can't keep it open much longer. Damon, please.[edit]A Few Good Men [1.15]Damon: [after a light goes on] No, buzzkill bob!Damon: Relax. I haven't killed anyone... in too long.Kelly Donovan: Oh god. Not on my couch.Damon: Don't you have some papers to grade?Alaric: It's, uh... more fun with a buzz.Damon: Well, most things are. Sober is... depressing.Alaric: You have a good afternoon.Damon: Not likely.Damon: You know... a room full of woman clamoring to win a date with me... sounds tasty.Elena: Stefan?Damon: Better. Me.Elena: You look, uh...Damon: Dashing? Gorgeous? Irresistible?Elena: Wrecked. You look wrecked.Elena: So... I found out who my birth mother is.Damon: Uggh, who cares? [Elena looks at him] She left you. She sucks.Elena: He's fine.Stefan: He's Damon.Elena: Maybe this heartache will be good for him. It reminds him that he has one, even if it doesn't beat.Carol Lockwood: And last but not least: Damon Salvatore... We don't have much on you.Damon: Well, I'm tough to fit in a card.Stefan: Elena...Elena: He killed her? Damon was the vampire that killed her?Stefan: I don't know what happened. Alaric said that they never found the body.Elena: Oh my god, Stefan...Stefan: I know. I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you, but I just... I wanted to know more.Elena: I was feeling sorry for him, hoping that this whole Katherine thing would change him... I'm so stupid.Stefan: He doesn't know about the connection to you. I thought about confronting him, but he's really...Elena: Why are you protecting him?!Stefan: Because you're not the only one hoping that he might actually change.Damon: [after Elena collides with him] Uh-oh, easy there, buy a ticket like everyone else.Damon: We're kindred spirits, abandoned by the women we love. Unrequited love sucks.Stefan: What happened? What did you do?Damon: Do what? He attacked me. I only told him the truth, his wife didn't want him anymore. Isn't my fault he couldn't... handle it.Stefan: Like you've been handling Katherine?Damon: I'm handling it fine. You know what? Isobel came to me, she found me, and if she's related to Elena, that means she's related to Katherine... Maybe Katherine sent her to me.[edit]There Goes the Neighborhood [1.16]Anna (talking to newly released vampires): There are over one hundred and fifty channels. It's called a remote control.Stefan: Have you thought any more about what you're going to do?Elena: About what? Isobel, my vampire birth mother, who's related to my vampire ancestor Katherine, who screwed over your vampire brother? Nah,... I haven't thought about it at all.Stefan: I'm sorry I brought it up.Elena: It'd just be nice if we could get through one day without having to deal with any of it. No vampire mother, or brother.Stefan: No vampires at all?Elena: No vampires, but you.Matt: We can watch a movie at my place.Caroline: With your mom and a six pack?Matt: You know... You don't really help the situation. You could always try to be nice.Caroline: Oh, I'm sorry. It's hard for me to show kindness to people that hate me. I'm not that evolved.Pearl (talking to Harper): The keypad is for texting, which is what you do when you want to avoid talking to someone.Damon: What exactly are you trying to achieve?Pearl: Mystic Falls is our home, Damon. They took that from us. Our land, our home. It's time we rebuild.Damon: What are you crazy? It was 1864. Wake up, woman. The world has moved on.(after gouging Damon's eyes out, leaving him helpless on the floor)Pearl: I have four hundred years on you, little boy. I'll rip you from limb to limb without even blinking and you know it.Elena: Have you ever even been on a double date before?Stefan: Oh, absolutely. '72, Hef and the twins.Elena: What?Stefan: Yeah... playmates. I got Miss June.Jenna: Don't be grumpy. It can't be that bad.Damon: You'd be surprised. My primary reason for existence has abandoned me and after today's events, the remains of the shaky ground that I walk on are about to go kaboom. Let's get hammered.Jenna: Hide. We're not here.Kelly: Why? Where'd we go?Jenna: Children under our care. Five o'clock.Matt: Is there anything you're not good at?Stefan: Double dating. This is all kind of new to me. I usually keep to myself. I don't always fit in.Matt: That's because you're that guy.Stefan: What guy?Matt: The guy who seems like he has everything, so the people that don't kind of run the other way.Stefan: Is that what I seem like?Matt: Pretty much.Stefan: Hmm... What a dick!Caroline (at the Salvatore boarding house): This is much better than watching Damon visit cougar town.Frederick: Vervain... making it hard to find something to eat in this town.Stefan: I remember them from 1864. They were in the tomb.Damon: Yeah... About that.Matt: Do you know what I was doing tonight, Mom? I was having fun, you know, trying to forget about all the crap that I have to deal with everyday. Just enjoying a night with my friends. And then, there you are, wasted at the bar - where I work, by the way, to pay the bills that you don't pay. And then you're off acting like a freakin' kid, hooking up with some guy half your age. I'm the kid, Mom. You're supposed to be responsible for me.Elena: How was your night?Jeremy: Ah... Same old. Same old... You?Elena: Yep.Anna: How did you know?Jeremy: I knew this girl. Vicki. She was attacked by an animal, a bite to the neck. She started acting crazy, weird, and it seemed like drugs, but then you showed me those articles. And then I saw your face and how it changed the night in the cemetery when I kissed you.Anna: You know you can't tell anyone, right?Jeremy: Who would believe me?Anna: You'd be surprised.Jeremy: Why didn't you kill me?Anna: I don't know. Maybe I'm a sucker for guys like you.Jeremy: Like what?Anna: Lost. Why would you confront me about it? Why would you risk it?Jeremy: Because if it was true, maybe it's true about Vicki. And also because I want you to turn me.[edit]Let The Right One In [1.17]Anna: I love storms.Jeremy: Is that a vampire thing? 'cause I read vampires don't like running water.Anna: It's only Dracula. He was a complete wuss. Never showered... very smelly.Jeremy: Seriously?Anna: First rule about vampires. Don't believe anything you read.Anna: I'm not gonna turn someone who learned everything he knows about vampires from Netflix.Pearl: [to Frederick] We cannot live our lives about revenge.Frederick: We should kill every last one of them.Pearl: We are smarter than that, Frederick. These people are not our enemies. We don't hold grudges and resentments. We'll get our town back. We just have to have patience.Frederick: You heard her.... No revenge.... Patience.... Self control. She seems to have it all figured out, doesn't she?Damon: I say we go to Pearl's and bust down the door and annihilate the idiot that attacked us last night.Stefan: And then what? We turn to the rest of the house of vampires and say, 'oops, sorry.'Elena: I can't believe you made a deal with her?Damon: It was more like a helpful exchange of information. It's not like I had a choice. She's... scary. Besides, she's gonna help me get Katherine back.Elena: Of course she is. Damon gets what he wants, as usual, no matter who he hurts in the process.Damon: Well, you don't have to be snarky about it.Elena: I woke up this morning to learn that all the vampires have been released from the tomb. I've earned snarky.Damon: Ah... How long are you going to blame me for turning your birth mother in to a vampire?Elena: I'm not blaming you, Damon. I've accepted the fact that you're a self serving psychopath with no redeeming qualities.Damon: Ouch.Stefan: This isn't being very productive. We're gonna figure out a way to deal with Pearl and the vampires, yeah?Elena: I'm sorry. He just makes me so cranky.Stefan: I know... He makes everybody cranky.Elena: So,.. What are we gonna do?Stefan: Damon and I are gonna handle everything. I promise.Elena: Well,.. What about me. I can't just sit here and do nothing.Stefan: That's exactly what you're gonna do because that's what's gonna keep you safe.Elena: Which means nothing if you're not safe too.Stefan: What do you mean? I'm perfectly safe. I have Damon, the self serving psychopath on my side.Elena: That's comforting.Jeremy: Does your mom know you're a...?Anna: The fact that you would even think it's possible to keep something like that, a secret from your own family is just further proof that you're not ready.Jeremy: 'Not ready' is a step up from 'no'.Anna: And a million steps down from 'maybe'.Matt: I yelled at my mom last night. You know, I feel like the parent with the screwed up kid.Caroline: Well, maybe she needed to hear it.Matt: Yeah, but I worry that if I push too hard then she'll take off again 'cuz that's her M.O. Just like Vicki, who I haven't heard from since she left.Caroline: Well, you can't control your mom, Matt, any more than you can control your sister.Matt: I wish that she would just try, a little, you know. If she would just try to try, that would be okay.Caroline: Maybe she'll surprise you. People have a tendency to do that. I should go before the roads get even worse from the storm.Matt: Are you sure that you should be driving right now?Caroline: I have to - it's my dad's boyfriend's daughter's birthday. We have a nontraditional traditional ritual.Matt: Well, buckle up.Damon: Hunting party?Stefan: That guy did a number on me last night when he stabbed me. I've got to get my strength back up.Damon: I have two liters of soccer mom in the fridge.. no?Stefan: We'll talk when I get back.Damon: All right... Give my regards to the squirrels.Damon: You're ignoring me.Elena: The six missed calls? Sorry. My phone's dead.Damon: Is Stefan here?Elena: No. Why? Is something wrong?Damon: He went out in to the woods and didn't come back. I can't get him on his phone. I figured he was here with you.Elena: It's going straight to voicemail. Where could he be?Damon: You're not gonna like what I'm thinking.Damon: Pearl. Open this door or I swear I'll bust through and rip your head off.Frederick: Pearl's not home. Mmm... Beautiful weather. Not a ray of sun in the sky.Damon: Where's my brother?Frederick: Billy. (Billy and another vampire are coming with Stefan.)Damon: You are dead...Frederick: I'm sorry you haven't been invited in. Miss Gibbons.Miss Gibbons: Yes, Frederick, honey.Frederick: Never let this bad man in.Miss Gibbons: I'll never let him in.Frederick: One hundred forty five years left starving in a tomb, thanks to Katherine's infatuation with you and your brother. First few weeks every single nerve in your body screams with fire... kind of pain that can drive a person mad. Well, I thought your brother might want to get a taste of that before I killed him. Billy! (Billy stakes Stefan in the abdomen, causing him to fall to his knees.) You have a nice day.Damon: Well, don't you look alive?Alaric: You can't hurt me.Damon: Oh, I can hurt you, all right.Elena: Mr. Saltzman, we need your help. Stefan's in the house; Damon's a vampire, he can't get in. We need you. I would go, but...Damon: But your life is valuable. Your's, on the other hand, is...Elena: Stefan told me about your ring.Alaric: What about it?Damon: Let me re-cap: You tried to kill me, I defended myself, you died, and - according to my brother - your ring brought you back to life. Am I leaving anything out?Alaric: Yeah... The part where I try and kill you again, only this time I don't miss.Elena: Mr. Saltzman... Please. It's Stefan.Alaric: I'm sorry, Elena. It's not my problem.Damon: That's a shame, 'cause the woman in charge of the crowd can help you find your wife.Alaric: You're lying.Damon: Am I? Why don't you ask her for yourself? Coward. Come on, Elena.Alaric: All right. Wait. I'll go.Jeremy: I wake up everyday and I feel okay. But there's something missing, like a hole. Some people, they fit in life or whatever. I don't.Anna: So you want a pity turn? I don't think so.Jeremy: You should turn me 'cause I don't have anything else.Anna: Do you even know why we turn other people? It's not just to give someone a one way ticket out of lonerhood, okay? One, we need someone to do our dirty work. Two, revenge. Three, boredom, but you know that never turns out well. And then, you know, there's the obvious one - you love someone so much that you would do anything to spend all of eternity with them. I'm sorry but you don't fit any of those categories yet.Tyler: Be more creepy, dad. Not like your son is standing right here.Mayor Lockwood: Grow up. Elections are coming. She's a constituent... and a rich one, from the looks of it.Tyler: And you can tell all that by looking at her ass... Awesome. I'm gonna go shoot some pool.Damon: Teacher by day, vampire hunter by night.Alaric: I have you to thank for that.Elena: Damon, now's not the time to be the Lone Ranger.Damon: Oh, I understand. He's the reason you live... His love lifts you up where you belong... I get it.Elena: Can you just not joke around for 2 seconds.Damon: Miss Gibbons, now tell me the truth. Are you married?Miss Gibbons: No.Damon: Parents? Children? Anyone else who lives on this property?Miss Gibbons: No, it's just me.Damon: No? Good. (Damon snaps Miss Gibbon's neck)Alaric: You were supposed to compel her!Damon: It doesn't work that way.Alaric: She's human.Damon: And I'm not, so I don't care! Now get out of here... and get rid of the body.Pearl: I'm in the process of obtaining some property. I understand that your family is the largest property owner in town.Mayor Lockwood: Well, yes we are... dating all the way back to the town's original charter.Pearl: Your family came in to a lot of new property in 1864.Mayor Lockwood: You know your history.Pearl: It's a passion of mine.Tyler: The guy's not even subtle about it.Matt: Who is that?Tyler: It's not my mother.Frederick: Billy, Jacob, get back in here.Stefan: Thank you... for trying to help me.Harper: They just needed somebody to blame, someone to punish.[Elena enters the room]Stefan: Elena. You shouldn't be here.Damon: [to Elena] You rescue, I'll distract. Go.Damon: How many of those Vervain darts do you have left?Alaric: One.Damon: Not gonna be enough.Alaric: What you said to get me to do this, about my wife, was a lie, wasn't it?Damon: Yep.Pearl (from outside): Stop. What's going on here? [Pearl enters the house, looks around and then at Damon] What did you do?Damon: Me? Your merry little band of vampires spent the day torturing my brother.Pearl: Trust me. The parties responsible for this will be dealt with.Damon: Our little arrangement doesn't work unless you learn to control them.Pearl: This wasn't supposed to happen.Damon: Well, it did. If I had a good side... not a way to get on it.Elena: How are you doing?Stefan: Ah, I'm okay. The wounds have mostly healed.Elena: Good.Stefan: Elena.Elena: Yeah.Stefan: What you did today, coming to help me... you could have been killed.Elena: I know.Stefan: And what I did... I'm sorry, I'm sorry that you had to see it.Elena: I've just never... You were like this other person, and it's my fault - I made you...Stefan: What? No, no, no, no. You didn't make me do anything. You were saving my life. And I was saving yours. Everything's gonna be okay.Damon: That was fun. Oh... Don't look at me like that. I know you hate me. Guess what? Everyone hates me. But you can't deny we were bad-ass.[edit]Under Control [1.18]Damon: Could you turn it up a little bit. It's not annoying... yet!Stefan: Sorry.Damon: When you going back to school?Stefan: Soon.Damon: Oh, come on... Just drink, already. Come on. This self-detox is not natural.Stefan: Could you get that away from me, please?Damon: How long did it take you to wean yourself off of it after you last indulged? [Stefan doesn't answer] That's not good.Stefan: I'll be fine. It just takes a little bit of time.Damon: I don't get it. You know you don't have to kill to survive. That's what blood banks are for. I haven't hunted a human in... God, way too long.Stefan: Oh, I'm impressed.Damon: It's completely self serving, trying to get the town off the trail of vampires. Which is not very easy, considering there's an entire tomb of them running around.Stefan: What are we planning on doing about that?Damon: You're not gonna be doing much of anything if you don't have your strength - there's nothing wrong with partaking in a healthy diet of human blood from a blood bank. You're not actually killing anyone.Stefan: I have my reasons.Damon: Well, what are those holier than thou reasons, because, you know, we've never actually discussed that. You know, I'd love to hear this story.Stefan: You're really enjoying this, aren't you? Just watching me struggle.Damon: Very much so.Stefan: I hate to break it to you, Damon, but I actually have it under complete control.Damon: You do? Oh, well, then you should just carry on making the rest of us vampires look bad. Have a great day, Stef... [Departs the room, leaving his glass of blood on a side table; Damon returns a moment later.] Oh, hey, almost forgot something... Oops.John: What's up with Jeremy?Jenna: He just lost a friend, so try to be sensitive.John: I'm always sensitive.Jenna: Right. So, really, how long are you staying?John: Can't you at least pretend that you're happy to see me?Jenna: [acting perky and excited] Oh my god! John, it is so good to see you! How have you been? [Drops the act] No, I can't.John: Did you really think I was gonna sign the escrow papers and send them back?Jenna: Actually, I did.John: I'm not gonna let you sell my brother's office.Jenna: It's not up to you or me - it belongs to Jeremy and Elena.John: They're minors, so I get the final say being that I'm the estate's trustee.Damon: He's a Gilbert?Sheriff Forbes: Elena's uncle. His name is John, but I call him jackass.John: The Gilberts have been a part of this town for 150 years. One of the founding families. Along with that distinction, comes certain obligations, including going to the party. One day, when you can appreciate the significance, I'll tell you all about your heritage.Jenna: Mmm... Gilbert family legacy. I forgot how sacred it was. I'm not a Gilbert, so I was never cool enough to hear it.Jeremy: Why does she hate you?John: We used to sleep together.Jenna: [throws food at him] I'm standing right here!Damon: Did you know that your uncle's been kickin' it with the Founder's Council?Elena: What?Damon: Yep.Elena: Perfect. We'll just add it to the growing list of how everything's falling apart.Damon: It is what it is, Elena. The Stefan you know is good behavior Stefan, reign it in Stefan, fight against this nature to an annoyingly obsessive level Stefan. But if you think there's not another part to this, than you have not been paying attention.Elena: He is not you. Not even close.Damon: Well, he's a wanna-be me. That doesn't mean deep down that he's not...Stefan: Oh God... I shouldn't be here.Damon: Come on. Don't be a downer. It's a party for the founding families: that would be us. It would be rude to skip it.Stefan: I really liked you a whole lot better when you hated everybody.Damon: Oh, I still do. I just love that they love me.Kelly Donovan: Well, I guess dead kid rates a special greeting from the mayor, huh?Stefan: Please dance with your alcoholic vampire boyfriend.Damon: Look at his right hand.Alaric: Who's?Damon: Town's favorite son. Look at his ring.Alaric: It looks like mine.Damon: Yeah... And that'd be a big coincidence if he didn't just come back from the dead five minutes ago. Where the hell did you get that ring?Alaric: Isobel, my wife.Damon: Who gave birth to Elena, under the medical care of the esteemed Dr. Grayson Gilbert... John's brother.Alaric: You think John knew Isobel?Damon: I think John knows a lot of things.Damon: Going somewhere?John: Never liked to be the last one to leave a party... It's too desperate. You gonna kill me again or you gonna let Mr. Saltzman do your dirty work?Alaric: Okay. You obviously know who I am.John: I do. Alaric Saltzman, the high school history teacher with a secret.Damon: You sure know a lot for someone who just got to town.John: More than you can imagine, Damon. My knowledge of this town goes beyond anything that you, or you, or the council, knows. So, if you were planning on some clever high speed snatch ring vamp kill move, know that if I die, everything I know goes to the council, including the fascinating little tale of the original Salvatore brothers and their present day return to Mystic Falls.Alaric: How did you get that ring?John: I inherited one. My brother, Gray, the other. This was his, although I wouldn't have given mine to Isobel had I known she'd hand it over to another guy.Damon: So you did know her?John: Who do you think sent her your way when she wanted to become a vampire?Damon: You sent her?John: Guilty. Why? Did you think someone else sent her? Maybe Katherine Pierce?Damon: How do you know about Katherine?John: How do I know anything, Damon?Damon: What do you want?John: So many questions. It's a pleasure meeting you, Ric. I've heard so much about you.Elena: Talk to me, Stefan. Tell me.Stefan: I tried so hard to keep it together tonight, and it was working. It was working. But then Matt's mom... she got hurt and she was bleeding and I had her blood on my hands.Elena: And then what happened?Stefan: The guy in the parking lot... I wanted to feed on him, and it took everything inside of me not to do it.Elena: But you didn't?Stefan: No, but I wanted to. Elena... my head is pounding. I feel like my skin is on fire. I have this hunger inside of me that I've never... I've never felt before in my entire life and I keep thinking about how I promised that I would never keep anything from you. So I'm telling you this.Elena: It's okay. I need you to tell me these things.Stefan: But I don't want you to see me like this. I don't want you to know that this side of me exists.Elena: Stefan, you're gonna get through this. I'm gonna help you pull through. It's gonna be okay. You're gonna be okay.Stefan: No, no, no, no. I'm sorry, honey. I can't. I'm afraid of what I could do to you.Elena: I'm not. Stefan... Stefan... I'm not. I'm not. Okay?Stefan: I love you so much!Elena: I love you, too.Damon: We have a problem, Stefan. And when I say problem, I mean global crisis. Seems Uncle John has a... [Damon looks up at Stefan who is swaying on his feet] You don't look so good... It's different this time, isn't it? The need is too strong. Of course, it would be after all these years. Have a good night brother. [Damon leaves his glass of blood on a sidetable][edit]Miss Mystic Falls [1.19]Stefan: I woke up this morning and I was feeling great and I figured it was time for me to get back in to things.Elena: Does that mean you're okay, now, with all the cravings?Stefan: Yeah. I mean, the worst part is over, so now all I want to do is spend as much time with you as possible!John: I think we'll make a good team. Don't you, Damon?Damon: John, whatever I can do to help keep this town safe... even if it means spending time with you.Alaric: This week we're gonna set aside our regular curriculum for a lesson in local history, as we approach Founder's Day. Apparently, the community leaders feel that's more important than World War II. But, hey, what do I know?Damon: You're playing house with half of a tomb of really pissed off vampires. What did you think was going to happen?Anna: My mom is devastated. They tried to overthrow her.Damon: Why isn't she here, telling me this?Anna: She doesn't really do apologies.Damon: Well, that's a coincidence, 'cause I don't do forgiveness.Stefan: You're making small talk. Why?Damon: You seem awfully chipper, lately... Less doom and gloom... A little more pep in your step!Damon: Stefan, let's be serious for a second. You spent the last century and a half being a poster child for Prozac, and now you expect me to believe that this new you has nothing to do with human blood... Nothing!Stefan: I'm clean.Damon: You're lying!Stefan: Believe what you want.Damon: Just remember, we're trying to keep a low profile. Why don't you just walk up to Sheriff Forbes and ask her to tap a vein?Stefan: Have my actions negatively impacted you? I can't imagine what that must feel like.Caroline: I'm on the M.F. beautification committee. I volunteer at the rec center soup kitchen.Elena: I recognize that I haven't been as involved, this year, as I used to be.Caroline: I implemented this year's Go Green campaign at school.Elena: I've been distracted and I let a lot of things slide.A Girl: I don't think it's wrong for me to win two years in a row.Amber Bradley: I was surprised to have been selected, since I'm not from one of the founding families.Elena: ... But I'm aware of what an honor this is, and I want you to know that I take it seriously.Caroline: ... worked with the county's recycling program and was in charge of the policemen's yearly raffle.Tina Fell: ... just because my D.U.I. made my community service mandatory, doesn't mean that I was any less committed.Elena: ... this was really important to my mother. She believed in community, family, honor, and loyalty. It's the legacy she left for me.John: Hey, partner!Damon: What do you want?John: You haven't returned any of my calls.Damon: Most people would take that as a hint.John: I'll tell the entire council what you are.Damon: Go for it! I'll kill every last one of them. Then I'll sever your hand, pull your ring off, and I'll kill you, too!Elena: This is ridiculous.Stefan: You're only saying that because you don't know how to do it.Elena: Sorry. Only one of us was around when the dance was invented.Stefan: Ouch! (twirls Elena and dips)Mrs. Lockwood: No! No! There's no touching during this part. It's about the simple intimacy of the 'near touch'.Stefan: If you ask me, the 'near touch' is over-rated!Caroline: And Amber Bradley is only on the court so the pageant doesn't look like it's founding families only, which, of course, it is. So that leaves Elena, and she totally has the sympathy vote, since her parents died. How can I compete with that?Bonnie: Very nice. Very sensitive.Anna: I remember this event from 1864. I was supposed to enter before everything happened.Damon: Ah... Nostalgia's a bitch!Damon (to Elena): He has no idea what normal is. His entire existence isn't normal. Normal to a vampire is drinking human blood, but he's spent all this time fighting it, when he should have been learning how to control it. And now it's controlling him, instead!Stefan: What's going on in here?Damon: Just filling Elena in on your extra curricular activities.Stefan: What are you talking about?Elena: I know about the blood, Stefan.Damon: I'm gonna... I'll be downstairs... drinking!Anna: You were basically using me to turn you into a vampire so you could be with someone else.Jeremy: No, I wasn't using you.Anna: Really? Then, how would you like to define it?Jeremy: [scoffs] I don't think it's any worse than becoming friends with me so we could give your mother my blood.Anna: How do you know that?Jeremy: It's not important.Anna: Seriously, Jeremy. What do you know?Jeremy: Everything. I know everything.
Jeremy: There's a part of me that's so angry that she covered up what happened to Vicki and erased my memory, but there's also this other part of me, that's glad. I don't want to remember Vicki like that.Anna: As a monster?Jeremy: No. As someone who wanted to hurt me.Anna: When I met you, you were just a part of my plan to get my mother back, but then things changed... all the time we spent together. I would never do anything to hurt you... not now. You know that, right?Stefan: I'm sorry. I'm not very good to be around, right now. I'm a little bit on edge. I've been drinking the human stuff, and it's really screwing with my head. She knows now! She wasn't supposed to find out! I didn't want her to find out! Now everything's ruined!Amber: You seem sad.Stefan: I'm not sad... I'm freakin' hungry!Stefan: I don't hurt people. I don't do that. I'm the good brother.Amber: Do you want to hurt me?Stefan: I want to kill you! I want to rip in to your skin and then I want to feed on your blood. Under your skin... pulsating, flowing... your carotid artery... right there... If you puncture this, just right, you can control the blood flow. Takes practice, but it doesn't have to make a mess. You don't have to waste any.Amber: What's stopping you?Stefan: If I do this... If I give in, there's no going back.Damon: Alright... Now this is getting weird!Anna: We're here to talk.Damon: Not in the mood! Today's been a no good, very bad day!Stefan: You shouldn't be here.Elena: I know.Stefan: Now you know.Elena: That wasn't you.Stefan: Oh... That was absolutely me... a monster... a predator. That's who I am Elena!Elena: That's what the blood makes you.Stefan: The blood brings out what's inside of me, and if you think any differently, then you're an idiot!Elena: I know this isn't you, Stefan.Damon: Sure you wanna do this?Elena: I'm sure.Damon: There's no guarantee this is gonna work.Elena: It has to.Damon: Coming?Elena: I'm gonna stay here.[edit]Blood Brothers [1.20]Damon: So, you'll be here, again, tonight?Elena: Is that a problem?Damon: Yes. You're a complete nuisance.Elena: What's his favourite type...Damon: Type of what?Elena: Type of animal blood that he prefers?Damon: Ew, gross.Elena: Your joking doesn't help.Damon: It helps me. Hurry up. I can't babysit all night. I've things to do.Elena: I would say drop dead, but...Damon: Haha. Stefan likes puppy blood... little Golden Retriever puppies with cute floppy ears. That's his favorite.Elena: (referring to Stefan) It's so hard to see him locked up like this.Damon: You're the one who locked him up.Elena: You helped.Damon: I couldn't have him running around chewing on people while the town was looking for vampires, now, could I?Elena: It had nothing to do with you actually caring about himDamon: Your thing, not mine.John: I know you know.Elena: Know what?John: It's really silly to keep pretending. What do you think your mother would say if she knew you were dating a vampire?Elena: Which mother?Damon: The sun hurts my eyes.Stefan: That's part of it. The muscle aches, the sick feeling. Emily says it's our bodies pushing us to feed, to complete the transition.Damon: That's not gonna happen.Stefan: Is that your choice, then? To die, instead?Damon: Isn't it yours? This was all to be with Katherine. She's gone. I want it over.Anna: Your uncle John wants us dead.Jeremy: Oh, you don't know that.Anna: Yes, I do. He's a hater, Jeremy.Jeremy: Well, I'm not.Anna: No. You're something else entirely.Jeremy: Oh, yeah? What would that be?Anna: My weakness.Damon: Give me the address.Alaric: What, so you can go without me? No, I don't think so.Damon: I'm not going with you. You tried to kill me.Alaric: Well, you did kill me.Elena:(about Damon and Alaric) Are you two friends now?Damon: I don't have any friends ElenaElena: Right.Stefan: You're taking a stupid risk. I could hurt you.Elena: Then I'm stupid.Stefan: I don't want to survive... after what I've done, I just want it to be over.Damon(to Alaric): What did you think you were gonna find? Isobel with a cigar and slippers?Alaric: I've gotta stop this. I can't keep searching for her.Damon: Really? After only two years? That's actually moderately healthy.Alaric: What are you goin' on — a hundred and forty-six?Damon: I figured the two hundred mark is probably a good stopping point.Elena: You're not exactly innocent. You've made it your life mission to make him miserable.Damon: From the moment Stefan had his first taste of human blood, he was a different person. I suppose I should thank him. It's been a hell of a ride.Emily: You've transitioned.Stefan: You'd have rather found me dead.Emily: Katherine saved my life once. I owed her. But that doesn't mean I'd wish her curse on anyone.Stefan: Feels more like a gift.Emily: That will change.Stefan: Why is that?Emily: Because even in death, your heart is pure, Stefan. I sense that in you. That will be your curse.Stefan: You don't understand, Elena.Elena: Then tell me.Stefan: It hurts me. It hurts me knowing what I've done. And that pain, that pain is with me all the time. And every day I think that if I just...if I just give myself over to the blood, I can make that pain stop. It would be that easy. And every day I fight that. And I am so terrified that one day, I not going to want to fight that anymore more, Elena. And the next time I hurt somebody, it could be you.Stefan: Thank you.Damon: No, Stefan. Thank you. You're back on Bambi blood, and I'm the big badass brother again. All's right in the world.Stefan: No, I mean it. Thank you, for helping her take care of me.Damon: You brood too much. Everything on this planet's not your fault. My actions, what I do, it's not your fault. I own them. They belong to me. You're not allowed to feel my guilt.Stefan: You feel guilt?Damon: If I wanted to, it's there.[edit]Isobel [1.21]Alaric: How could I not search for you?Isobel: Because I wasn't lost, Ric.Alaric (to Isobel): Screw you, you selfish bitch.Damon: You successfully cured him of anything interesting about his personality.Elena: Remember who helped me.Damon: I hate myself.Caroline: Southern classic elegance.Bonnie: Gone With the Wind?Caroline: How'd you know?Bonnie: You channel Scarlett daily.Alaric: She threatened to go on a killing spree.Damon: I take it that's not okay with you guys?Damon: Stefan is different. He wants to be human. He wants to feel every episode of "How I Met Your Mother".Elena: Why are you doing this?Isobel: I'm showing you how easy it is for me to hurt the ones you love.Isobel: Don't look for any redeeming qualities. I don't have any.(Damon slams Isobel down on the floor by her throat)Damon: Now that I have your attention, listen up. (grits his teeth) You do not come into my town, threaten people I care about. Going after Elena... bad move! You leave her alone or I'll rip you to bits because I do believe in killing the messenger and you know why? (leans close and whispers) Because it sends a message. (Picks her head up and slams it back into the floor. Isobel groans in pain) Katherine wants something from me, you tell that little bitch to come get it herself.Damon: I like being a living dead personIsobel [to Elena]: As long as you have a Salvatore on each arm, you're doomed.Stefan: I'm just concerned about Elena being hurt. She considers you... a friend.Damon: Same here. Elena is a very good friend. Actually, she might qualify as my... only friend.Stefan: What proof do you have?Damon: I don't need proof. That's between Elena, John, Maury and a DNA test.[edit]Founders Day [1.22]Stefan: (to Damon) What are you doing here?Damon: Why wouldn't I be here? It's Founder's Day, I am here to eat cotton candy and steal your girl. (smirks)Stefan: Don't start with me, Damon.Damon: Oh, you started it, Stefan with the whole "I'm insecure, leave Elena alone" speech. I'm just enjoying that.Stefan: As long as you heard it.Damon: Huh? What?Damon: I get it. I'm the better, hotter, superior choice and you're scared now that Katherine is out of the picture that I'm gonna turn all my attention to Elena.Damon: I wanna say something to you.Bonnie: Just leave me alone.Damon: Thank you. The device in Emily's spell could have killed me. I don't take what you did lightly, so — thank you.Bonnie(nonplussed): I did it for Elena.Damon: I know that, but I'm still very grateful. And... I owe you.[At the Grill, Elena walking in, dressed normal]
Damon: I like you better like this. The period look, it... didn't suit you.Elena: Is that an insult?Damon: Actually, Elena, it's a compliment of the highest order.Damon (mockingly): I have so many emotions, but I don't have any way to express them. Being a teenager is so hard.Jeremy: You dick!Damon: (grabs him) You do not talk to me like that. I'm not your sister. And from now on, don't talk to your sister that way either.Jeremy: So what, are you going to kill me because I hurt Elena's feelings?Damon: Cut her some slack.Jeremy: She erased my memories.Damon: No, I did. She was protecting you.Jeremy: It wasn't her call to make.(Damon grabs him)
Jeremy: Let go of me before I cause a scene.Damon: You'll be unconscious before you even got a word out.Damon: Mayor? Is that you?Mayor Lockwood: What are you doing here?!Damon: I'm a vampire. What's your excuse?Jeremy: Anna said that vampires don't have to feel pain; that they could turn it off if they shut out their humanity.Damon: It's very true.Jeremy: Is it easier that way?Damon: Is what easier?Jeremy: Life...Damon: Life sucks either way, Jeremy. At least if you're a vampire you don't have to feel bad about it if you don't want to.Damon: You know, I came to this town wanting to destroy it. Tonight I found myself wanting to protect it. How does that happen? I'm not a hero, Elena. I don't do good. It's not... in me.Katherine (pretending to be Elena): Maybe it is.Damon: No. No, it's reserved for my brother, and you, and Bonnie... who even though she has every reason to hate me still helped Stefan save me.Katherine: Why do you sound so surprised?Damon: Because she did it for you. Which means that somewhere along the way, you decided that I was worth saving. I wanted to thank you for that.Katherine: You're welcome.John: Katherine?!Katherine: Hello, John. Goodbye, John. (stabs him)[edit]Season 2[edit]The Return [2.01]Stefan: She said she fooled one of us at least, what does that mean?Damon: She pretended to be Elena too, when I showed up earlier the night.Elena: I told Jeremy, I can't lie to him anymore.Stefan: You all right?Elena: No I'm not all right. I thought with all the tomb vampires gone things would get better.Stefan: I know. We all didElena: Katherine was in this house. That means she's been invited in. What are we gonna do?Damon: Move.Elena: Very helpful. Thank you.Damon: Katherine wants you dead, there’s zero you can do about it. You will be dead but your not, so clearly she has other plans.Stefan: Right and we need to find out what those other plans are, and not provoke her in the process. What happened tonight when you thought she was Elena?Damon: To risk another frown line encroaching on a very crowded forehead. We kissed.Elena: And you thought it was me?Stefan: What do mean you kissed?Damon: Well you know when two lips pucker and they go (makes kissing noise, Stefan goes for Damon, Damon moves)Damon: Don't be obvious StefanElena: Stefan, wait, he... he kissed Katherine not me, I wouldn't do that. We don't have time for this guys.Stefan: LaterDamon: (Nods)Elena: Hey, how you doing?Damon: Great Elena. Walking on sunshine. Thanks for asking.Elena: Damon.Damon: Elena.Elena: We should be able to talk about this. Damon we're close enough now. I really want to know how you’re doing.Damon: I kissed you. I thought you kissed me back. Doppelganger hijnix, ensued. How do you think I’m doing?Elena: I think that you’re hurt.Damon: Mmmm. No I don’t get hurt, Elena.Elena: No. You don't admit that you get hurt. You get angry and cover it up, and then you do something stupid.Damon: You’re scared. You think Katherine's going to send me off the deep end. Don't you. I don't need her for that. You know what. Why is such a surprise that I would kiss you?Elena: That’s not a surprise. I'm surprised that you thought I’d kiss you back.Damon: Now I’m hurt.Damon: Why? I'd fight meDamon: Very brave of you to come here.Katherine: I wanted to say goodbye.Damon: Leaving so soon?Katherine: I know where I’m not wanted.Damon: Don't pout. It’s not attractive in a woman your age.Katherine: Ouch (Damon walks away. Katherine,appears in front of him) what, no goodbye kiss?Damon: Why don't I kill you instead? What are you doing here?Katherine: Nostalgia, Curiosity, etc.Damon: I'm better at the anumatic one-liners, Katherine. Whatta up to?Katherine: Trust me Damon, When I'm up to something. You'll know it, come on. KISS me or KILL me. Which will it be Damon. We both know you're only capable of one. (Damon Kisses her)Damon: Okay. Wait. Brief pause. I have a question. Answer it and it's back to fireworks and rockets red glare. Answer it right, I'll forget the last 145 years I’ve been missing you, I'll forget how much I loved you, I'll forget everything and we can start over, this can be our defining moment, we have the time, that’s the beauty of eternity, I just need the truth, just once.Katherine: Stop. I already know your question, and it's answer. The truth is, I've never loved you. It was always Stefan. (Leaves)Damon: You're surprised that I thought you'd kiss me back, you can't imagine that I’d believe you'd want to.Elena: DamonDamon: That what we've been doing here, means something. You’re the liar Elena. There is something going on between the two of us and you know it. And you’re lying to me. And you’re lying to Stefan. And most of all your lying to yourself. I can prove it.Elena: NoDamon: (kisses her)Elena: Damon don't. What’s wrong with you?Damon: Lie about this (tries to kiss her again)Elena: Stop it. You're better than this. Come on.Damon: That’s were you're wrong.Elena: No, no, no. Damon I care about you. Listen to me. I care about you. I do, but I love Stefan. Its always gonna be Stefan.Caroline: Elena? What are you doing here?Katherine: My name is Katherine. I was hoping you could give the Salvatore brothers a message for me.Caroline: What are you talking about? What message?Katherine: Game on.[edit]Brave New World [2.02]Damon: Jeremy, so good to see you alive.Jeremy: Aren't you a lil old for a high school carnival?Damon: 150 years too old.Jeremy: Your pretty funny cracking jokes when I could, I dunno, blow the whole lid off this thing by telling someone what you really are.Damon: So please tell me that, that is not a threatJeremy: Maybe it is. (looks at his ring)Damon: Oh. (Grabs Jeremy) This is what we're not going to do. We’re not going to walk around like we're invincible. When it is this easy for me to end you. If you wanna tell people what I really am, go ahead and try. I will shove this ring so far up your ass you'll really have something to choke on. (Throws ring at Jeremy)Damon: Is he...?Stefan: No. It wasn't that kind of strength. It was more than human if it makes any sense.Damon: What is up with that family? They're not vampires, what the hell are they?Stefan: Ooo! Uh, maybe they're ninja turtles?Damon: You're not funny.Stefan: Or no, zombies. Werewolves.Damon: No comedic timing at all.Stefan: What? What are you up to?Damon: Since this is reality, and there's no such thing as werewolves or combat turtles.Stefan: No, it's ninja turtle.Elena: Hi. What time is it?Stefan: It's almost dawn. Come with me.Elena: Stefan, What are we doing here, we're going to get caught.Stefan: Well I compelled the guard to go on a break so I can kiss my girlfriend on top of the Ferris wheel.Elena: Stefan.Stefan: We have to take these moments Elena. Alright, what Katherine did to Caroline could just be the beginning and then there’s things about Tyler’s family that we don't even understand yet and there’s always the D-word, but I came back to this town to start a life with you. We can’t forget to live it.[edit]Bad Moon Rising [2.03]Damon: Thanks for coming Ric. Can I get you anything to drink? Coffee? Bourbon? Bourbon in your coffee?Damon: If this wolf man thing is true, I’ve seen enough movies to know its not good. It means Mason Lockwood is a real life Lon Chaney and that little Tyler punk very well may be a Lon Chaney Junior; which means Bela Lugosi, meaning me, is totally screwed.Damon: Sorry, you can't come too. Stef.Stefan: Call me if you need anything, okay?Damon: Oh I’ll take really good care of her.Damon: How you doing back there? You know this whole pretending to hate me thing is getting a little silly.Alaric: I don't think she’s pretending. You did kill her brother.Damon: There is a huge astrix next to that statement. He came back to life.Elena: Yeah. Thanks to a ring you didn't know he was wearing.Damon: Why are you so sure I didn't know?Elena: Did you?Damon: Yes!Elena: You’re lying.Damon: Elena! I saw the ring. It’s a big tacky thing. It’s hard to miss.Damon: I can't reach it Elena. Just pull the damn thing out. It hurts. Aaah. That bitch is dead.Elena: Ah. You’re not going to kill her.Damon: Watch me.Elena: You touch her and I swear I will never speak to you again.Damon: What makes you think that has any power over me? Cause I took an arrow in the back for you. You are severely over estimating yourself.Elena: Right I forgot that I was speaking to a psychotic mind who snaps and kills people impulsively. Fine. Go head. Do what ever you want.Damon: You’re trying to manipulate meElena: If by manipulate you mean tell the truth. Okay, GuiltyCaroline: So, you're saying that now, I'm basically an insecure, neurotic control freak on crack.Stefan: Well, I wasn't going to say it like that. But...Elena: Here take this.Vanessa: Does Vervain really work?Damon: Nope. Not at all.Vanessa: Can he hear us?Damon: (Whispers) Nooo. That would be creepy.Vanessa: Can he read minds too?Damon: Ya know if you wanna see me naked all you have to do is ask.Elena: NO! That he can't do. But he is very capable of being a first rate jackass.Caroline: Why are you looking at him with your serious vampire look?Stefan: My wha-, my serious vampire look?Caroline: Mhmm. I mean it's different from your worried vampire look, neither of which stray too far from your "Hey it's Tuesday" look.Stefan: Oh, I get it. Okay. You think I'm, ah, you think I'm too serious. That it?Caroline: I mean, I wasn't gonna say it like that, but.Elena: I need to know the truth. When you broke Jeremy’s neck, did you that he was wearing the ring?Damon: No. No, I didn’t. Katherine really pissed me off and I snapped and… I got lucky with the ring. I don’t know what I would done of he wasn’t wearing it. Elena, I’m sorryElena: Thank you for being honest with me and the answer to your question, about our friendship is yes. You have lost me forever.Damon: You knew that already, didn’t you? You used me todayElena: You had information about Katherine that I needed to know.Damon: I thought friends don’t manipulate friends. You and Katherine have a lot more in common than just your looks[edit]Memory Lane [2.04]Katherine: Don't fight it, Stefan. You loved me once. You can love me again. I love you, Stefan.Katherine: Are we really going to do this again? We both know I could rip you to shreds and do my nails at the same time.Stefan: What do you want?Katherine: I wanted to see you. I've missed you, Stefan. Indulge me for a little while, please?Stefan: Why are you back in town?Katherine: 3 reasons. You, you and... you.Stefan: See, I can't quite get that down. It just kind of...gets stuck in my throat.Katherine: You know, it's the truth. Deep down inside that gorgeous body of yours is the Stefan that fell in love with me, tooElena: What do you want?Damon: So this is where you spend your time when you're not stabbing people in the back.Elena: I tricked you into telling me the truth. That's not stabbing you in the back. That's using your own tactics against you.Damon: Where are you going?Elena: I made myself clear, Damon. I want nothing to do with you.Stefan: What do you know about werewolves?Katherine: I know not to pet one.Katherine: Why did you keep this picture? Why not burn it? Tear it up? You wanna know why I came back? Well, I have a better question. Why did you? Elena? No. You came back here to fall in love with me all over again, didn't you Stefan?Jenna: I've no secrets. Only dirty shame.Mason: We haven't met. Mason Lockwood.Damon: Oh, sure. Hey. Damon Salvatore.Mason: I know. I've heard great things about you.Damon: Really? That's weird. 'Cause I'm a dick.(in 1864)Stefan: I know we've only known each other for a short while. And I know I'm in competition for your affections. But... I've never met a woman quite like you. I look at you and I see an angel. I touch your skin... and my entire body ignites. I kiss you and I know that I'm falling in love. (kisses her)I am in love with you.Katherine: There's just so much you don't know about me, Stefan.Stefan: More to learn and love.Katherine: I must say goodnight.(in present)Katherine: Go ahead, Stefan. Torture me, keep me captive, drain me of blood until my body turns to dust. It'll never change the truth.I never compelled your love. It was real. And so was mine.Stefan: It wasn't real. I remember you compelling me.Katherine: Only after I showed you who I really was. You were so scared of me. I had to take away your fear.Stefan: Well, whatever feelings I had back then... they've all turned to hate.Katherine: Love, hate. Such a fine line. I can wait.(playing Pictionary, Damon is drawing)Jenna: Dress. Ballerina.Caroline: Puppy. Puppy. Puppy with a tutu?Damon: No.Jenna: Dog. Hound. Hound dog. You ain't nothing but a hound dog.Mason: Dances with Wolves.Damon: Mason wins again.Jenna: How is that a wolf?Stefan: You knew that they were going to burn the vampires in the church?Katherine: I practically lit the match back there.Stefan: They were your friends. They were your family. You just sold them out?Katherine: Without blinking.Stefan: So you sent 26 of your friends to their death just to fake your own? No. You were running from something. What was it?Katherine: Everyone has a past, Stefan. Mine needed to stay far, far away. But thanks to you, my plan nearly failed before it even began.Once George told me that the roundup was imminent, I made sure I could see you one last time. But your father used your love for me against you. He poisoned your blood. We don't have long. Then Damon, being Damon, nearly ruined everything.Stefan: We came for you. We tried to save you.Katherine: I didn't want to be saved.Stefan: Then Damon and I died for nothing. For nothing!Katherine: No, Stefan. You died for love!Mason: Alaric, catch that game next week?Alaric: Yeah. Looking forward to it.Damon: Hey, you know, I should probably head out, too. (to Jenna) Jenna... you are a wonderful hostess.Jenna: And you are a terrible artist.Damon: Is that the only thing that makes me terrible?Jenna: Still deciding.Damon: Good enough for me. (to Alaric) Alaric... let's not catch that game next week.Mason(to Damon, after he stabbed him): Now you made an enemy.Stefan: So you going to tell me why you came back here? Or we're you just playing another game?Katherine: Have you not heard a word that I've said? I've answered that question 5 times over now.Stefan: All right. Good. Make it six.Katherine: I want what I want, Stefan. And I don't care what I have to do to get it. My list of victims is a long one. And :I have no problem adding one more name to that list.Stefan: Come on, Katherine. If you wanted Elena dead, you would have done it by now.Katherine: I still can. If I have to, I will snap her neck like a twig. And you know it.(...)Katherine: I don't want you seeing Elena anymore. If you don't remove her from your life, I will kill everyone that she loves in her life while she watches,and then I will kill her while you watch.(...)Katherine: I've missed you, Stefan. I just wanted to spend some quality time with you.Tyler: Tell me how the curse is triggered.Mason: If I tell you, you won't be able to think about anything else. I don't want that for you.Tyler: I think I can handle knowing.Mason: Yeah. You think you can handle it, tough guy? You have no idea!Tyler: Do you want your stupid rock or not?!Mason: Tell me where it is.Tyler: Tell me what triggers the curse!Mason: You have to kill somebody! Human blood! You take a person's life away from them, then the curse is yours forever. Can you handle that?Elena: You're not actually saying that we should do what she says.Stefan: Listen, she's sadistic. She threatened you. She threatened everyone.Elena: Yeah. No. I get it, ok. She's dangerous. But every day that we're together it's dangerous. Why are you giving her so much power over our relationship?Stefan: This the reality of our situation.Elena: Reality sucks. This is what she wants, Stefan. She wants us to fight. She wants get between us.Stefan: She already has, Elena.Katherine: Bad day?Damon: Bad century. I heard you were on the loose.Katherine: What's the matter? Jealous cause I spent the day with Stefan?Damon: I don't do jealous. Not with you. Not anymore.(...)Katherine: Don't try to be the hero, Damon. You'll end up dead.Damon: Been there, done that. At least this time it will have been worth it.Katherine: I love you Stefan we will be together again I promise.[edit]Kill or Be Killed [2.05]Elena: I hate fighting with you, even when it's fake.Caroline: You're gonna pretend to be a mother?Mrs. Forbes: I'll bring my gun if it gets rough.Damon: Man1 i don't want peace.Stefan: Consider it opposite day.Jeremy: [to Tyler]I know what you're doing.Tyler: Answer me! Why ... why wolf-pictures?Jeremy: Because... because I know.Tyler: You know what? You know what Jeremy?!Jeremy: I know what you are.Caroline: I can take you.Mason: Wanna bet?Caroline: Yeah. I do.Mrs. Forbes: This is how it’s going to work. Answer me and you don't get shot. Understand. How many of you are there.Damon: Liz please.Mrs. Forbes: How did you fool us? How do you walk in the sun? (Shoots Stefan who is still not awake) I will drag this out painfully.Damon: But you’re my friend.Mrs. Forbes: Our friendship was a lie.Caroline: (after killing two police offficers) Hi mom.Jeremy: Why didn't you give it to him?Tyler: Because he wants it. I'm a dick that way.Liz: My daughter is gone.Damon: You have no idea how wrong you are about that.Elena: What are you doing?Stefan: Katherine took a little vervain everyday and built up a tolerance to it, I could do the same with blood. I could learn to control myself on it.Elena: But you can't. Stefan you don't have to.Stefan: I almost died last night Elena, because I was too weak.Elena: But the last time you drank human blood...Stefan: I told you I’d find away to stop Katherine didn't I? Well this is it. This is the only way because she’s stronger than me and unless that changes. I can't protect you.Elena: Can we talk about this later? (‘’Points at ears, to say Damon can hear’’)Stefan: He can hear us wherever we are because he drinks this! This is the only thing that can help me.Elena: Are you serious or you pretending to fight, because I can't tell if…Stefan: No this is real, no more pretend.(Elena leaves.)Elena: Caroline’s sleeping on the couch.Damon: I heard. And you?Elena: I'm going home. (Stops at the door.) What you did for Caroline’s mom, that’s the Damon who was my friend. (leaving out the door.)Damon: Hey. Stefan didn't drink the people blood. If you were curious. But he needs too. And deep down you know that.Stefan: You can come in.Elena: Do you really think you can control it?Stefan: I dunno. But if I don't try…Elena: So a little bit everyday?Stefan: Yeah. Just a few drops of blood in my system, I think it’s worth trying.Elena: So do I. But I just don't want you to do it alone. (Cuts herself on the finger.)Stefan: What are you doing?Elena: It's you and me Stefan. Always.[edit]Plan B [2.06]Stefan: You're staring.(eyes closed)Elena: I'm gazing.Stefan: It's creepy.(opens his eyes and looks at Elena)Elena: It's romantic.Jeremy: I need to talk to you.Damon: And why do I need to talk to you? (tries to shut the door)Jeremy: (trying to convince Damon) Tyler has to kill someone to activate his curse. He's not a werewolf yet.Damon: Wow, fascinating. Not enough. (tries to shut the door again)Damon: Wow. Your search for life’s purpose is as obvious as it is tragic.Damon: If we start believing in supernatural witchy-woo from picture book, we’re idiots. Where is the stone now?Jeremy: Tyler.Damon: Can you get itJeremy: Yeah.Damon: See, now your life has purpose.Jeremy: So you do believe it?Damon: This is the same book that says that a werewolf bite kills a vampire. Ignoring it would make me an even bigger idiot.Damon: Katherine’s with Mason Lockwood?Stefan: We missed it. He got into town right after she did. It makes perfect sense.Damon: I know, but Mason Lockwood?! Werewolf thing aside, the guy’s a surfer. She’s gotta be using him. She has to be.Stefan: Using him for what?Damon: Mason Lockwood’s looking for a moon stone that allegedly can break the full moon werewolf curse. Maybe Katherine wants it as well.Stefan: Why?Damon: Well ... No idea. It’s the beauty of Katherine. She’s always up to something.Matt: She’s this amazing girl one minute and then this raging jealous freak the next.Tyler: Look, you know what I think of Caroline Forbes. She’s an insecure ,neurotic, bitchy little twit.Matt: Hey!Tyler: But the girl’s got heart. She means well. Just gotta take the good with the bad sometimes.Bonnie: What do you want?Damon: A favor.Bonnie: Like that’s going to happen.Damon: So predictable. That’s why I brought him.Stefan: I know how you feel about helping us out, but since you’re the one that linked Mason with Katherine, we finally have an opportunity to get an upper hand on both of them, so just hear us out.Damon: Pretty please.Bonnie: I’m listening.Stefan:(looks at his phone) I have to fill Elena in on what’s going on. (To Damon) Can you play nice, please?Damon: I guess.Damon: Let’s talk about that little witchy ju-ju thing you do with me. You know, the fun one where my brain bursts into flames? What is that?Bonnie: That’s me giving you an aneurysm. Your blood vessels go pop. But you heal quickly, so I do it over and over again.Damon: Is it vampire-specific?Bonnie: It’d work on anyone with a supernatural healing ability.Damon: Good. Good, good.Bonnie: Damon. I’m not going to help you hurt him.Damon: Mason Lockwood’s a werewolf. Katherine’s evil. They’re the bad guys. Really? You’re going to play morality police with me right now? Let me put it to you in another way ... They’re a threat to Elena. So you, witch, are going to get over yourself and help us.Stefan: Yeah, he meant that as a question with a “please” on the end.Damon: Absolutely.Damon: Here, grab that corner.Bonnie: Why? What are we doing?Damon: I don't wanna stain the carpet.Bonnie: I knew you were going to say something like that.Damon: You're judging again.Damon: (hurts Mason with a hotted iron) You can hurt. Good to know. I was afraid you were gonna be some beast master with no affinity for pain. (seeing Mason's wound healing) Oh, but you heal quickly. Not good. Guess I’ll just have to keep applying pain.Damon: So where did you two meet? She seduced you, told you she loved you? You're supernatural so she can't compel you. I'm sure she used her other charms. Katherine's good that way.Damon: What do you want with the moonstone?Mason: Screw you.Damon: Awwwrrr, Wrong Answer!Mason: I'm getting it for Katherine.Damon: Why?Mason: She's going to use it to lift the curse.Damon: Of the moon? Now, why would a vampire help a werewolf break a curse that keeps them from turning whenever they want?Mason: So I wouldn't have to turn anymore.Damon: Why?Mason: Because she loves me.Damon: Awww *laughs* Now I get it. You're just stupid. Katherine doesn't love you, she's using you, you moron.Mason: I'm done talking.Damon: Yes you are.Jeremy: Damon...Damon: You wanted to be a part of this? Well, here it is. Kill or be killed. The guy’s a werewolf. He’d kill me the first chance he got! So you suck it up, or leave. He wants me to kill him, anyway. Don’t you, Mason? It really is a curse, isn’t it? You know, I look at you and I see myself. A less dashing, less intelligent version.Mason: I love her.Damon: Oh, I know! I’ve been where you are. But Katherine will only rip your heart out. Let me do it for her.Damon: All this for that?Stefan: Yup. I see you've exercised your usual restraint.Damon: Had to be done.Stefan: Let's get rid of the body.Damon: Uuu, last number dialed. I wonder who that could possibly be.Stefan: No, no, no. Don't provoke her.Katherine: Mason. You should have been here an hour ago.Damon: Wrong boy toy.Katherine: Damon. For once you’ve surprised me. I assume Mason’s with you.Damon: He’s right beside me. Although his heart’s across the room.Katherine: You shouldn’t have.Damon: I’ve had a very busy day today. Killed a werewolf, found a moonstone. Hey, did you know that he hid the moonstone in a bottom of a well full of Vervain? Guess he didn’t trust you very much. He did love you. Poor guy. Hey, where are you, ’cause, you know, I could bring him over. Last good-byes and all that.Katherine: You've no idea what you’ve just done.Damon: Aww, did I put a kink in your master plan? I’m so sorry.Katherine: Do you honestly believe that I don’t have a plan B? And if that fails, a plan C, Then a plan D, and…you know how the alphabet works, don’t you? Send my love to Stefan.Stefan: I'm so sorry.Elena: We were so stupid. Sneaking around, thinking that we weren't going to get caught.Stefan: I know.Elena: We did this... Jenna's in the hospital, and Jeremy could be next. All because we didn't listen to her. Because we we're together. Stefan...Stefan: I know what you’re going to say.Elena: Then let me say it. I’ve been so selfish because I love you so much. And I know how much you love me. But it’s over. Stefan, it has to be.Stefan: Elena, I don’t…Elena: No, Stefan. It has to be.Damon: Elena… I riled Katherine up. I… I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t think.Elena: It doesn’t matter, Damon. She won. Katherine won.[edit]Masquerade [2.07]Katherine: I need you to deliver a message. Tell Damon and Stefan that I want the moonstone or I will rip this town apart until it rains blood. Tonight. At the masquerade ball.Stefan: We can't underestimate her. We have to play this smarter than her.Caroline: Can't we just give her the moonstone so she'll leave?Damon: No. Katherine's not getting dick. I've had it. I'm going to go to the masquerade ball and I'm going to kill her tonight.Stefan: You're not gonna kill her.Damon: Don't give me that goody-goody crap.Stefan: You're not going to kill her.Damon: Oh, really?Stefan: Because I am.Lucy: What's with the hair?Katherine: I'm impersonating my dull as dishwater doppelganger, Elena. She has the worst taste.Lucy: Except in men.Bonnie: What's going on?Jeremy: We're gonna kill Katherine.Stefan: I can explain.Bonnie: Please.Stefan: We're gonna kill Katherine.Stefan: All right. If anybody wants to back out, I'll understand.Damon: Yeah, cold feet speak now. I don't want this going wrong because someone chickens out. Caroline?Caroline: I won't. She killed me. Fair is fair.Matt: Elena?Katherine: (as Elena) Matt? You look dashing.Matt: I thought you said you aren't coming.Katherine: I couldn't miss it. You really are hot in a suit. I'd love to just...Katherine: God, you're hot. Now go away.Stefan: Are you sure you can do this?Damon: Who are you talking to?Stefan: I had the chance to kill her and I hesitated.Damon: Well, that is the fork in the road between me and you, my friend. I don't hesitate.Katherine: Dance with me.Stefan: No.Katherine: Fine. You tell me who I should kill. Him? She looks delicious.Jeremy: So, can you like do a hocus-pocus to ace a test?Bonnie: I don't know that spell.Jeremy: That'd be like the first one I'd learn.Stefan: Hello, Katherine.Caroline: Goodbye, Katherine.Katherine: You think you two are the only ones with a witch on your side? Wrong. And something tells me that my witch is better than your witch.Katherine: The three of us together, just like old times. The brother that loved me too much and the one that didn't love me enough.Damon: And the evil slut vampire that only loved herself.Katherine: What happened to you, Damon? You used to be so sweet and polite to everyone mostly.Damon: OH! That Damon died long time ago.Katherine: Good, he was a bore.Damon: Sorry about your pet wolf. You should have kept him on a tighter leash.Katherine: I'll have one of those.Damon: (in a mocking tone) Right away Miss Katherine.Katherine: Good for you, Stefan, 2+2..And it would have worked, except that people found out that I wasn't in the tomb. Thanks to you (turning to Damon) By the way, have I mentioned how inconvenient your obsession with me has been?Damon: You and me both, honey.Damon: Hello Katherine.Katherine: Where am I?Damon: Where you should have been all along. I thought you would have learned your lesson by now about messing with a Bennett witch.Katherine: You should have killed me.Damon:: Death would have been too kind.Katherine: No, Damon, don't. Damon, don't. You need me. Elena's in danger.Damon: From who? (pause, no response) You're lying, you're always lying.Katherine: Why do you think I haven't killed her? She's the doppelganger. She needs to be protected.Damon: Then I'll protect her while you rot in hell.(closing door in her face while Katherine tries to say something else.)[edit]Rose [2.08]Damon: If you want to drop the hint to your mom that Aimee's body is at the bottom of a ravine with a cracked spine, might save your mom some time.Stefan: I'm sorry.Damon: About what?Stefan: For being the guy that made you turn 145 years ago.Damon: Enough, Stef. It's late. No need to rehash that.Stefan: Well, you know what, I've never said it out loud. I guess I just need to say it and you need to hear it. I'm sorry. What I did was selfish. I didn't wanna be alone. Guess I just needed my brother.Stefan: [on saving Elena] I can't think of a better reason to die.Damon: Elena know you've been drinking blood?Stefan: I've been drinking hers.Damon: Hmm. How romantic.Jeremy: When I'm worn down, I take a nap. You were unconscious.Damon: The elephant in the room lets out a mighty roar.Stefan: Well, it doesn't have to be an elephant. Let's talk about it.Damon: There's nothing to talk about.Stefan: That's not true. Sure there is. Let's get it out. I mean, are you in this car because you want to help your little brother save the girl that he loves or is it--is it because you love her, too?Damon: Keep it up, Stefan. I can step out of helping as easily as I stepped in.Stefan: Nope. See, that's the beauty of it. You can't.Damon: Can we not do the whole road trip bonding thing? The cliché of it all makes me itch.Stefan: You're coming with me?Damon: It's Elena.Rose: I know who you are. I said be quiet.Elena: What do you want?(so scared)Rose: [slap!] I want you to be quiet Elena.Caroline: That werewolf road leads straight to vampire boulevard! I thought I was thinking fast on my feet.Damon: Oh, teens today and their underage drinking. Tragic.Damon: Since we’re road trip bonding, remember the days when all you lived for was blood? You were the guy who’d rip someone apart for the fun of it.Stefan: You mean when I was more like you?Damon: Yes, Stefan. Exactly! Back when you put blood into me so I could be a big bad vampire. I wonder if Elena would be so quick to open her veins to that guy. By the way, what happened to that guy? He was a hoot.Stefan: This has Katherine written all over it.Damon: Katherine's in the tomb. Trust me. I'm the one that shut her in.Stefan: Did you?Damon: Did I what, Stefan?Stefan: Well I know the hold Katherine has on you.Damon: She's in the tomb. Period. End of story.Stefan: We have to talk to her.Damon: No, no. Let me tell you how that's gonna go. We're gonna go ask for her help, she's gonna negotiate her release, which we're gonna be dumb enough to give her and then she's gonna get out and kill us. That's exactly what she wants.Stefan: I don't really care.Damon: It's a bad idea, Stefan.Stefan: It's Elena.Elijah: Excuse me. To whom it may concern. You're making a big mistake if you think that you can beat me. You can't. You hear that. I repeat. You cannot beat me. So I want the girl, on the count of three. Or heads will roll. Are we clear on this now?Damon: I just have to say somethingElena: Why do you have to say it with my necklace?(backing away slowly)Damon: Because what I’m about to say is probably the most selfish thing I’ve said in my lifeElena: Damon don’t go there.(tries to warn him)Damon: I just have to say it once, you just need to hear it. I love you, Elena, and it’s because I love you that, I can’t be selfish with you, and why you can't know this. I don’t deserve you. But my brother does. (Kisses her head) God, I wish you didn't have to forget this... But you do.[edit]Katerina [2.09]Elena: Okay, so you're saying is the oldest vampire in the history of time is coming after me?Rose: Yes.Stefan: No.Damon: What they are saying is, I mean if what she's saying is true..Rose: Which it is.Damon: And you're not just saying is so we don't kill you...Rose: Which I'm not.Damon: We're looking at a solid... maybe.Damon: She's in denial.Stefan: Shut up, Damon.Rose: Being in love with your brother's girlfriend must be difficult.Damon: I'm not in love with anyone.Rose: Wanna try that again?Caroline: I'm a terrible liar... I'm even worse at duplicity.Elena [to Katherine]: It must be painful to dessicate and mummify. I can't even imagine.Katherine: My family, your true ancestors, they disowned me. My indiscretion were not tolerated at that time. I had a baby out of wedlock. Shame.Damon: If you're setting me up in anyway, I will rip your heart out and shove it own your throat. Something I'm very good at.Katherine: Living out of a suitcase is better than dying so you can have you blood spilled over a silly little rock.Katherine (to Elena): I will always look out for myself. If you're smart, you'll do the same.Katherine: Witches and their spells. So many people to sacrifice.Have you noticed that Elena always kisses you? Lets just say I have been brushing up on my acting skills. (Smirks)Katherine: I'll be the safest psychotic bitch in town.[edit]The Sacrifice [2.10]Damon: Get your ass out the door before I throw you over my shoulder and carry you out myself.Elena: I don't want to be saved. Not if it means Klaus is gonna kill every person I love.Rose (about Alice): You know that she isn't going anywhere near my blood, right?Elena: I know that. She doesn't.Bonnie: I'll be fine.Jeremy: You could get hurt.Bonnie: And Elena could die.Damon: It's a plan. Is it perfect? What plan is?Damon: I'd rather poke my eyes out than that.Katherine: They're such pretty eyes.Alaric: Well, I'm naked. So... I'm just gonna go.Elena: Sound like you guys already have it all planned out.Damon: Yup, we're awesome!Stefan: Promise me, whatever happens, you'll protect her.Damon: Promise.Elena (to Damon): I don't question why everyone tries so hard to save me. You shouldn't question why I try so hard to save everyone else.Damon: If I had a dollar for every time some evil vampire surprised me.Jeremy: I don't need an escort to my room.Bonnie: Between here and upstairs, you may do something stupid.Damon: I killed you. You were dead.Elijah: For centuries now.Caroline (to Tyler): I don't want you to be alone.Caroline: There's a reason it's called a curse, Tyler.[edit]By The Light of The Moon [2.11]Rose: It doesn't mean I can't be a special friend.Damon: I think I like you.Damon: You sure you can do that?Rose: I don't love men that love other women. I think more of myself then that.Rose:So, I'm gonna help you.Damon: Help me do what?Rose: Save Elena. Protect Elena. All things Elena.Elijah: Good evening, Katerina. Thank you for having the good sense to be frightened. (To Stefan) Your release has been requested.Stefan: What? By who.Elijah: The lovely Elena drives a hard bargain, however, we have managed to reach a peaceful agreement, she and I. Please, come.Stefan: I can't.Elijah: Yes, you can. I've had the spell lifted.(Stefan exites the tomb. Katherine tries to escape but Elijah stops her).
Elijah: As for you however, you shall not exit until I say so. When Klaus comes he'll want to know exactly where you are. (To Stefan) You're free to go. Elena will explain the arrangement to you. If she keep her word, I'll keep mine.Katherine: I do love you, Stefan. Even if you don't believe it.Damon (to Alaric, about Jules): I've been marked? What the hell kind of wolf pronoun stuff is that, anyway?Elijah: I'm a man of my word, Elena. When I make a deal, I keep a deal.Stefan (to Katherine): The pleasure I'll get of watching you suffer is greater than any pain I'll ever feel.Damon: A) He can't do anything about it and B) what I just said.Elena: Do you think this is funny?Damon: Yes, Elena, I find hilarity in the lengths I need to go to to save your lifeDamon: I've been dead before. I got over it.Damon: Elena is on a martyr tear that rivals even if your greatest hits.Bonnie: We're not gonna let you get used in some creepy sacrifice ritual.[edit]The Descent [2.12]Caroline (to Tyler, afer he kissed her): Everybody just needs to stop kissing me!Jessica: Are you gonna hurt me?(so scared)Damon: I'm not really sure.Damon: I'm not human. And I miss it. I miss it more than anything in the world. That is my secret.Damon: I'm lost... metaphorically, existentially.Damon: I feel, Elena. And it sucks.Jules: This town is crawling with vampires. But, don't worry, we'll get them.Tyler: Who are you?Jules: I'm your friend. There are others like us, and they're on their way.Rose: I miss being human.Damon: Humanity's not all it's cracked up to be.Damon (to Rose): You went on a murderous rampage. It happens.Matt (to Caroline): What are you keeping from me? If you love me, you'll tell me. What is it?Jules: I'll tell you the only sure that exists. You want a cure. Take a stake and drive it through her heart(while backing out the place).Stefan: There's a lot of people here.Damon: Damn. There goes my plan to rip her spleen through her back.Rose: What do you call this whole deal with Elijah?Elena: I call it my best option.Rose: It's the easiest option.Rose: I'm a vampire. I haven't had a cold in five centuries.Damon (to Elena , about Rose): Death happens. We come. We go. The sooner she dies, the better. It's gloomy as hell in here.Damon: If you're gonna be maudlin, I'm gonna kill you myself. Just to put me out of your misery.Stefan: He's an Original. I don't really know what that means.Elena: Don't ruin the moment. You're about to ruin the moment, aren't you?Stefan: I'm totally ruining the moment.[edit]Daddy Issues [2.13]Jenna: What the hell?John: Good morning to you, Jenna. Alaric.John: Coffee?Elena: We did that last night. No more avoiding.Tyler: I'm sorry.Caroline: No. It's too late because we are not friends anymore and what happened to me tonight? That will never happen again. So you take that back to your little werewolf pack and you get the hell out of my house.Jenna (to Alaric): So Elena is my sister's husband's brother's daughter and her mother is my boyfriend's deceased wife. You can't make that stuff up.Andie: Why do you kill people?Damon: Because I like it. It's in my nature. It's who I am. But then I have to stay to get her, to protect her and she wants me to be a better man, which means I can't be who I am. Do you see the problem I am having, Andie?Andie: Or maybe this is who you are now. Love does that, Damon. It changes us.Andie: What do you want, Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome?Damon: I'm not that tall.Elena {to Caroline): We're gonna slumber it.Tyler: I didn't know what to do.Caroline: You help your friend. That's what you do.Damon (to Jules and Brady): Since Stefan got here earlier, I'll let him try it his way before I try it my way, which is a lot bloodier.Elena (to John): You may be my father, but I am never gonna be your daughter.Caroline: Why are you doing this to me?Brady: You're a vampire. Why not?Damon: He's a werefolf. He needs to die. I'm willing to do it. It's a win-win.Damon (to Elena): I'm steering clear of all women at the moment...Trust me, it's in the best interests of women everywhere.John: You guys are drinking vervain?Damon: It's an acquired taste.Elena (to Damon, about John): We just need answers. Try not to do anything stupid.Damon: Yeah, but stupid's so much more fun.Jules: I want the boy more than I want vengeance.Brady: Let's get both.Damon (to Elena): I'm a good guy now, remember?Jules (to Tyler): We live by a code of loyalty. We take care of each other. It's my duty and honor to help you. Please let me.Damon (to Stefan): Better watch your back. Because I might need to get a hero hairdo of my own and steal your thunder.Damon (about John): We're not that desperate, Stefan. The guy tried to barbecue me!Damon: You need to stop doing that.Elena: Doing what?Damon: Assuming that I'll play the good guy, because it's you who's asking.[edit]Crying Wolf [2.14]Brady [to Tyler]: They're the enemy. And if they break that curse, all of us are as good as dead.Jeremy: What kind of witch roofie was that?Bonnie: A strong one.Alaric [on Andie]: Just don't kill her, please.Damon: If I did, who would report her death?Alaric: That Elijah is one scary dude, but with nice hair.Elijah: I'm an Original. Show a little respect.Alaric [to John]: You're a dick.Stefan: This is a future memory: it's where your boyfriend whispered to you that he loved you.Stefan: I think there are a lot of conversations to be had about our future. About the kind of life we can have together.Elena: Stefan Salvatore, I hereby invite you into this home.Tyler: The Doppleganger?Stevie: Evil twin shadow person.Damon: My new girlfriend. Andie Starr. Action News.Alaric: It's not called Action News.Damon: I know. I like just saying it.Stefan: How was the slumber party?Elena: Fine. Good. Well-needed. When can me and you have one?Tyler: I kinda fell for her. I don't know how anyone wouldn't because she's pretty incredible.Jeremy: So, Luka remember anything?Bonnie: No, he just lost consciousness, that's all.Jeremy: Should we, uh, wait for Caroline?Bonnie: She was just gonna drop Luka off at the Grill, said to lock the door on our way out.Jeremy: Yeah, well I hope she drops him hard.Bonnie: Wait. You're Elena's little brother. I've known you forever. You're that punk kid. And remember your awkward phase, and then your emo phase, your druggie phase. And overnight you've turned into this hot guy who's really sweet and -Jeremy: You think I'm hot?Bonnie: With everything that's going on, you know, curses and sacrifice -Jeremy: Enough already(They kiss)Bonnie: Whoa(They kiss again)Stefan: You wanna let yourself get killed? That's not heroic. That's tragic.Stefan: Try not to get yourself killed.Damon: Yeah. It's been a day for that.Elijah [to Damon]: This is the third time I've saved your life now.Luka: Elena has to die.[edit]Dinner Party [2.15]Damon: I get you out of here and your ass is sipping Klaus-free margaritas in some unknown island somewhere, no way.Jeremy: You did like it, right?Bonnie: Yeah. I liked it.Damon: There's no such thing as a bad idea. Only poorly executed awesome ones.Stefan: Hunt. Pray. Kill. It was all I knew.Elena: He described you as a monster.Stefan: That's what I was.Elijah: I don't really pursue younger women. It's a joke, Ric. Lighten up.Stefan: Are you actually gonna be careful for once?Damon: Yes, I've become you. How tragic for both of us. Gotta run. Have a murder to plan. Busy day.Journal entry: I saw the vampire who killed me. I recognized him. It was Stefan Salvatore.Elijah: If you so as much make a move to cross me, I'll kill you and kill everyone in this house.Stefan: Who wants to die next?Elena: It sounds like you were a monster.Stefan: I was.Damon: You sound about jealous. Does he sound about jealous?Andie: You kind of do.Damon: You get anything out of Elijah?Alaric: No, it was boring. Of course, Jenna thinks he's charming.Andie: Whats that?Damon: Dessert.Alaric: Now get rid of him before Jenna comes back with dessert.Katherine: Hello, Damon. Hey, do you have a robe?Damon: How did you get out of there?Katherine: I knew that if I begged you not to kill Elijah that's excatly what you'd do. Need a little fact? The Originals can compel other vampires, but, as soon as they die, the compulsion wears off...Damon: And you knew thatKatherine: Yes, and I'm still here. I'm gonna help you. So, do you have that robe?[edit]The House Guest [2.16]Elena: What is she doing here?Damon: When we killed Elijah, it broke the compulsion and freed the bitch from the tomb.Damon: It's some kind of CRAZY ASS psychic witch attack!Isobel: Hi, you must be Jenna. I'm Elena's mother.Caroline: I'm a vampire, Matt.Damon: Katherine, there are six other bedrooms in this house. Go find one.Katherine: You hurt me today.Damon: Tit for tat.Alaric [to Jenna]: Just know that I love you. At least I can tell you that much.Jenna: Goodnight, Ric.Alaric: Goodnight.Katherine [to Elena]: Your pretty little outfit is gonna need a good dry clean.Bonnie: You didn't have to kill him.Katherine: Yes we did.Caroline: Just because I talk a lot doesn't mean I always know what I'm talking about.Jenna: Not now, Ric. Tonight, I trade you for Senor Tequila.Elena: How do we tell someone what we know? How does someone hear that?Katherine [to Damon]: I wanted out of the tomb. Doesn't matter the price. Of course I knew you would die.Elena: It's gonna be a girls' night. Maybe Katherine can join us.(BEING SARCASTICALLY)Matt: Since when am I the one who can express himself and you the one at a loss for words?Elena: I don't really need your help and I don't want it.Katherine: That's incredibly stupid of you,Elena. You know that?Damon: Guess who's coming to dinner?Damon: So, let me guess... in addition to the moonstone, the doppelganger, the lion, the witch and the wardrobe you need to find this witch burial ground.[edit]Know Thy Enemy [2.17]Isobel: sorry for being such a disappointment to you Elena.Elena: You screw up everything, John. Everything you touch just falls apart. But you’re the only parent I have left. So maybe I can learn not to hate you.Damon: Great, we’ll have to put that on our list of things to do today. “Harness dead witch power."Damon: Don't mistake the fact that we haven't set you on fire in your sleep for trust.Damon: I'll be super pissed if you lock me out.Stefan:(To Damon) Tell you what,why don't you call Alaric and let him know that his wife just showed up on his girlfriend's doorstep.[edit]The Last Dance [2.18]Damon: You see, that's why I didn't tell you. Cause you would have never been able to do it. Don't get me wrong, Stefan. I don't mind being a bad guy. I'll make all the life and death desicions, while you're busy worrying about collateral damage. I'll even let her hate me for it. But at the end of the day, I'll be the one to keep her alive.Damon:(Dancing with Elena on the dance floor)I have moves you've never seen before,girl.Damon [to Elena]: Let me be clear about something. All right? If it comes down to you and the witch again, I will gladly let Bonnie die. I will always choose you.[edit]Klaus [2.19]Damon: Wow, I'd love to lend you a hand, but, you know, you wouldn't want me doing anything stupid.Stefan: You're seriously gonna be like this?Damon: You and your girlfriend are calling the shots. I'm just... backing off, Stefan.Elena (On Katherine) : You cared about her, didn't you?Elijah: It's a common mistake, I'm told. And it's one I won't make again.Elijah: I need some air. I'm still feeling a tad... dead. Come.Katherine: Where is he going?Alaric/Klaus: To retrieve me. So I can get out of this bad hair-do.Elijah:I think the term you're looking for is: OMG?Elijah:The curse of the sun and the moon is fake.Damon:Thought you might be dead.Katherine: Unfortunately not.Katherine (to Elijah): That is too sad for me to accept, my lord. Life is too cruel... if we cease to believe in love, why would we want to live?Damon: You should be thankful she’s here. She’s keeping me from going for what I really want.Stefan: You’re right. Thank you for being in love with my girlfriend.[edit]The Last Day [2.20]Damon: What if it doesn't work, Elena?Elena: Then I guess I'll just be dead.Stefan: Elena made her decision. She's choosing to trust Elijah. I'm going to put my faith in her.Damon: Why? She's going to end up dead.Stefan: Because she put her faith in me. She chose to trust me in spite of what I am. I'm going to bet on somebody's instincts, it's going to be hers.Damon: Well, then, that makes you the biggest idiot of them all.Stefan: She chose to trust you, too.Damon: Then maybe you shouldn't be so sure about her instincts.Alaric: He wanted me to deliver a message, the sacrifice happens tonight.Stefan: So you don’t remember anything that happened?Alaric: No, it’s like I blacked out and woke up 3 days later.Damon: You're going to die, Elena.Elena: And then I'll come back to life.Damon: That is not a risk I am willing to take.Elena: But I am. It's my life, Damon. My choice.Damon: I can't lose you.Elena: You won't.Elijah: Your problem, Damon...you talk a good game but you don't actually know anything. She'll never forgive you. And never for a vampire...it's a very long time.Elena: We are climbing all the way up to the top?Stefan: Oh yeah.Elena: Well can’t you do one of super power vampire jumpy things.Stefan: No, it’s your last day as a human, why cheat now?Stefan: Look, I know this isn’t the first time you have thought about it, drinking vampire blood to survive and I know I have thought about it a 100 times.Elena: And before all this with Klaus? Do you think about it then?Stefan: Of course I did. Look, if it were my choice I would want to be with you forever.Elena: Why have you never brought it up?Stefan: Because I knew if it was an option you would have. It’s selfish for me to ask you.Elena: Didn’t stop Damon.Stefan: He shouldn’t of done what he did, he did it because he loves you.Elena: But he did this to me, Stefan. Which means he doesn’t really know what love is and to be honest I don’t know if I do. I’m seventeen years old. How do I know any of this yet. I know that I love you Stefan, I know that but my future, our lives together, those were things I was supposed to do as they came along, I was supposed to grow up, decide if I wanna have kids and start a family, grow old and I was supposed to have a lifetime of those choices. Now, that’s all gone.Stefan: It’s ok to say it, please.Elena: I don’t want to be a vampire, Stefan. I never wanted to be one.[edit]The Sun Also Rises [2.21]Damon: Somehow you're the only one that wins. How'd that happen?Katherine: I didn't let love get in the way.Damon: Enjoy an eternity alone, Katherine.Elena: Witches are supposed to maintain the balance of nature. It's your duty to them. To keep this curse sealed.Greta: My duty is to Klaus. A new order.Klaus: Glad to know I still have a dance partner.Damon: Come back as a vampire and I will stake you myself cause I can’t stand the idea of you hating me forever.Tyler: You were right. I shouldn't have come home.Caroline: No, you just...should have never left. And you shouldn't leave again.Tyler: You're kidding, right? This is the second time I've tried to kill you.Caroline: Well, no friendship is perfect.John: (voiceover, in his letter to Elena) Elena, it's no easy task being an ordinary parent to an extraordinary child. I failed in that task. And because of my prejudices, I failed you. I'm haunted by how things might have played out differently if I'd been more willing to hear your side of things. For me, it's the end. For you, a chance to grow old and someday do better with your own child than I did with mine. It's for that child that I give you my ring. I don't ask for your forgiveness or for you to forget. I ask only that you believe this. Whether you are now reading this as a human or as a vampire, I love you all the same. As I've always loved you, and always will. John.[edit]As I Lay Dying [2.22]Klaus: I heard about this one vampire, crazy bloke, always on-and-off the wagon for decades. When he was off, he was magnificent. 1917 he went into Monterrey and wiped out an entire migrant village. True Ripper. Sound familiar?Stefan: I haven’t been that way in a very long time.Klaus: Well, that’s the vampire I can make a deal with. That is the kind of talent that I can use when I leave this town.Alaric: (About Damon's werewolf bite) Well, that looks bad.Damon: It feels worse.Katherine: (To Elena) It's OK to love them both. I did.Bonnie: (About saving Jeremy) Emily, I know you’re there! Please help me… I love him.Damon: You should have met me in 1864. You'd have liked me.Elena: I like you now. Just the way you are.Stefan: Your blood is the cure.Klaus: Gotta love Mother Nature.Damon: Elena, feeding you my blood, I was wrong.Elena: Yes, you were.Damon: And I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness but... I need it.Stefan: You’re not dying today.Damon: What’s the plan, Superman?Elijah: You gave me your word, Niklaus.Klaus: (To Stefan) You can either remain here living your life in Mystic Falls or you can embrace what you truly are - leave town with me and save your brother’s life.Katherine: (To Elena, about Stefan) He just sacrificed everything to save his brother, including you. Its’ a good thing you have Damon to keep you company. Goodbye, Elena.Alaric: (Drunk, to Stefan) I’m sorry; you’ve reached somebody who’s currently not operating.Elena:(To Stefan about ‘Gone With The Wind’) Look who couldn’t resist an epic romance.Damon: You should want me dead. I’m the reason Jenna got killed.Alaric: I don’t blame you for Jenna.Damon: Oh sure you do. Let’s not forget I turned your wife into a vampire. You must really hate me for that one.Alaric: OK, give me your glass. Neither one of us is drunk enough for this conversation.Damon: Kill me, please.Alaric: Screw you.Bonnie: (To Jeremy) You were dead. It would be weird if you felt normal.Damon:(To Elena about Katherine) All those years I blamed Stefan. But no one forced me to love her. It was my own choice. I made the wrong choice. Tell Stefan I’m sorry.Damon:(To Elena) I’ve made a lot of choices that have gotten me here. I deserve this. I deserve to die. It’s OK, because if I’d have chosen differently, I wouldn’t have met you. I’m so sorry. I’ve done so many things to hurt you.Elena: It's OK. I forgive you.Damon: I know you love Stefan. I know it’ll always be Stefan. But I love you. You should know that.Elena: I do.Caroline: That was Bonnie. Jeremy's alive.Sheriff Forbes: (relieved and crying) I thought I'd killed him.Caroline: You did.Sheriff Forbes: I don't understand.Caroline: I explained it to you once but I had to make you forget because I was so scared about what you might do. But now, I don't want to lie. I'm not going to be afraid of you anymore.(Taking her mother's hand) And I don't want you to be afraid of me anymore. (Crying she takes her mother in her arms) I'm still your little girl. It's me. It's me.(Crying, Sheriff Forbes returns her embrace)
[edit]Season 3[edit]The Birthday [3.01]Damon: Morning.Elena: Hey, I was gonna---(sees Damon naked and she turns around) OH! You heard me. You totally heard me.Damon: Hey, you should learn to knock, what if I was... indecent.Stefan: My brother still on our trail?Klaus: He's getting closer, I'm gonna have to deal with that.Stefan: No, no no. Let me handle that.Klaus: Why should I let you leave?Stefan: Cause you know I'll come back.Klaus: Do I?Stefan: You saved my brother's life, I'm at you're service.Klaus: Aah, you all sound so tedious, aren't you even having the least bit of fun?Stefan: I'll make sure that my brother doesn't bother us any more.Damon: Stefan.Stefan: Hello Brother.Damon: You don't write, you don't call.Stefan: I need you to stop following me, causing some problems.Damon: With who? Klaus? I'm supposed to care what he thinks?Stefan: What you're supposed to do is let me go.Damon: I saw your artwork in Tennessee. You're walking a fine line there my friend. Keep that up and there will be no saving you.[edit]The Hybrid [3.02]Klaus: Please, forgive the inclusion. My name is Klaus.Werewolf: You're the hybrid.Klaus: You've heard of me. Fantastic.Damon: How are you doing?Elena: Fine.Damon: You know I could help you.Elena: No thanks.Damon: One real...shoo (indicates jump)Elena: Yeah, with my luck, you'd drop me.Alaric: What are you guys, twelve?Elena: (douses rope with vervain) Here Ric, take these. (Damon goes to grab them, gets burned by the vervain'"OH OWWW!!!"') I said Ric.Elena: You're not a lost cause, Ric. You're just...lost. But so is Jeremy. And so am I. Our family is gone. We don't have anybody. I'm sorry, but you don't have anybody either, so...we're kind of it for each other.Anna: (as a ghost) Jeremy. Don't trust Vicki.Bill: Hello Caroline.Caroline: Daddy?[edit]The End Of The Affair [3.03]Damon: Rise and shine sleepy head.Elena: What are you doing? Get out!Damon: You know you were dreaming about me, explains the drool.Elena: Oh my god, 6 AM seriously?Damon: (reading Stefan's diary) "March 12th, 1922. I've blacked out days. I wake up in stranger's blood in places I don't recognize with women I don't remember." (gasps) I'm shocked. Stefan's not a virgin.Elena: Eyes on the road, grandma.Rebekah:(Flashback of Stefan and Rebekah first meeting in Chicago during 1900) Sorry to crash the fun boys but some of us actually came here to hear the music, not you.Stefan: I’m so sorry sweetheart, are we offending you?Rebekah: It takes a lot more than a baby face like this to offend me.Stefan: Hey, are you even gonna tell me your name?Rebekah: Sure, when you earn it.Elena: Stefan could have lived anywhere in Chicago and he chose this?Damon: There used to be an all-girls high school around the corner but it shut down for attendance issues. Weird.Klaus: I see they've opened the doors to the riffraff now.Damon: Oh, honey, I've been called worse.[edit]Disturbing Behavior [3.04]Elena: Where's Damon?Caroline: Probably off somewhere doing bad things to good people. What? Consider me the honesty policeAlaric: You killed me!Damon: Ric, no hard feelings, alright? I was on a bit of a tear, and everyone was trying to tell me how to behave.Alaric: Maybe they finally realized you’re a dick.Rebekah: There has to be more to this dress.Stefan: There’s not.Rebekah: So women in the 21st century dress like prostitutes, then? I got dirty looks for wearing trousers.Klaus: You wore trousers so women today could wear nothing.(Klaus making a brief point about her trousers)Rebekah: I am not a brat!Klaus: A thousand years of life experience says otherwise.[edit]The Reckoning [3.05]Stefan: I have done everything Klaus asked me to.Rebekah: No, you just failed to mention that the doppelganger is still alive.Stefan: Where is Klaus now?Rebekah: With any luck, ripping that cow's head off.Stefan: Where is she?Rebekah: You really love her don't you? Consider me jealous.Katherine: What if I told you there is a way to kill Klaus? And not dagger dead. Dead dead.Damon: I'd say you're either desperate and lying. Or drunk. Or desperate, lying, drunk.Katherine: You're going to get yourself killed. The Damon I remember wouldn't have been that stupid.Damon: I wouldn't have done it for you.Bonnie: Listen to me, I know you wanna help and I know you miss your sister but what you did was reckless and stupid.Matt: I know, Bonnie. I know. But it worked. It was worth it.Bonnie: You don’t want to be part of all this, Matt. You’re the only one of us who actually gets to live their life like a normal person, no matter how lost you feel. Don’t forget that.Elena: Stefan, you can control this. When that buzzer goes off, just...just drink from me!Stefan: You don't get it; I can't stop Elena. I'm a ripper! A ripper doesn't stop! I listen to the words that come out of your mouth and all I hear is the sound of your heart pumping blood through your body. And when that clock ticks down, I'm going to have to feed on you. You want to know what's worse? I'm not going to be able to stop.[edit]Smells Like Teen Spirt [3.06]Alaric: I think you found a way to get out of bed this morning and that makes you the strongest person I know.Caroline: Why should I let the fact that my boyfriend was turned into a hybrid put a damper on my day?Elena: New year. New life.Stefan: Oh, I'm sorry. Your tone implies that I'm actually supposed to care.Matt: You can't just keep appearing like this. It freaks me out.Vicki: I'm a ghost. It's all I got.Damon: What? What do you mean "what"? I've been calling you for two days.Katherine: Odd. That's exactly how long I've been ignoring you.Damon: You know Stefan. Journaling. Reading. Shaping his hair.Tyler: I'm his first successful hybrid, Caroline. Don't you think that's the tiniest thing awesome?Elena: I don't know what he is, but he's definitely not Stefan.Stefan: I'm the guy who's been assigned to protect the human blood bag. I mean, no offense.Damon: No one's gonna hurt you. Especially not my brother.Elena: I lure Stefan away from the bonfire. Then when he's distracted--Alaric: I'll shoot him.Damon: Can't Bonnie just juju him, or something?Caroline: How do I fix him?Damon: Get a new boyfriend.Bonnie: Matt's trying to resurrect his dead sister! I think I'll go deal with that instead.Tyler: How did I get home?Caroline: I brought you here. You were being a major d-bag.Tyler [to Caroline]: Everything I like about me, is you.Elena: Uh-oh! It’s the fun police. I thought that Ripper Stefan was supposed to be the life of the party.Alaric: You look, ah, not sober.Caroline: You have to earn the over-nighter.Tyler: I consider that a challenge.Elena: I know who you really are, better than anyone, Stefan. I am not giving up.Stefan: Elena, do you have any idea how pathetic that makes you?Elena: No, Stefan. It makes me strong.[edit]Ghost World [3.07]Damon: Well I don't have time for vengeful Lockwood. When I kill someone, they're supposed to stay dead.Elena: That's what it’s call?Jeremy: That's what Anna calls it. There's not an official brochure or anything.Stefan: All these words. Forgot how much I used to care.Elena: I didn't.Jeremy: I don't know why this is happening, or when it's gonna stop. But before it's done, I have to do this. [Kisses Anna]Damon: But remember back when you liked me, and we conspired to kill uncle werewolf Mason Lockwood?Alaric: Yeah. And?Damon: I think he’s still a little pissed.Stefan: You're...Lexi: ... dead? Technically, so are you.Elena: You need to disappear. Or evaporate. Or do whatever it is that ghosts do.Damon: Tyler can't be helped, at least now while Klaus is alive. Which is, like, always.Damon: You’re right. I didn’t have to kill you. I do a lot of things I don’t have to do.Stefan: I will rip you apart, Lexi.Lexi: You can't. I'm already dead.Mason: I don't need revenge, Damon. I need redemption.Damon: Which way?Mason: I don’t know. Flip a coin.Damon: Aren't you supposed to be all-knowing?Mason: I'm a ghost. Not God.Alaric: You’re going to recycle that same crap-ass apology you gave to Mason Lockwood?Damon: Yeah, well. I didn’t mean it with him.Elena [to Stefan]: I won't love a ghost for the rest of my life.Bonnie: I've got a ghost problem to deal with, Caroline. Save the Jeremy problem for later.[edit]Ordinary People [3.08]Alaric: Careful where you shine that thing. Bats hate the light.Elena: Wait... what?Alaric:As far as I could tell, it’s a story. In simple, archaeological terms, it’s a really, really old story.Mikael: [to Klaus]: Some days, it's a miracle you're still alive. Boy.Elena: How does he look?Damon: Pasty and pouty.Elena: He'll have to get over it.Elena: She’s a thousand-year-old vampire who’s joined the cheerleading squad. There’s a whole different set of rules in play here, Ric. I've got this.Alaric: Jeremy is an idiot. And I know this with certainty because I was once a Jeremy. Trust me, we learn. Eventually.Stefan: It’s precision born out of tragic boredom.Damon: All that effort wasted trying to tell you how boring you were and you finally agree with me?Rebekah: He’s a vampire. We’re a predatory species. We don’t have time to care about humans and their silly, little lives.Stefan: What's the point of the jailbreak?Damon: I thought you needed a hug, StefanRebekah: He's my brother. And I'm immortal. Shall I spend an eternity alone instead?Rebekah: If you come after my brother, I will rip you apart. And I get my temper from my father.Damon: Careful, Stefan, your humanity is showing.Damon: I went behind your back. I freed Stefan. And you know what? It backfired. He’s an even bigger dick than ever. It’s just, now, he’s a dick that’s on our side.[edit]Homecoming [3.09]Damon: I am forming a secret contingency plan.Elena: Really? What is it?Damon: Well, if I told you, it wouldn't a secret.Stefan: I’m one hundred and sixty two years old and I’m going to a homecoming dance. I need better ties.Damon: Elena. This thing blows up in our face, just remember only of us heals quickly.Caroline: I finally almost got your mom to stop hating me, so I probably shouldn't get caught in some kind of vampire threesome with her son.Caroline: Matt is an innocent, good person who should not be going to dances with evil blood sluts.Caroline: This is a sire thing, isn't it? Please tell me this is some weird family extension of your sire bond with Klaus.Tyler: I'm here hanging streamers and have glitter all over my hands. If I'm sired to anybody, it's you.Damon: It's very Katherine of you.Elena: Not the way to make me feel better about myself.Damon: It was a compliment. Sort of.Damon: Do you trust me?Elena: Yes.Damon: Then you have nothing to worry about.Damon: I'd offer you a drink, but Katherine tells me you're more of a vampire-on-the-rocks kind of guy.Klaus: Your mom is not a problem. I compelled her to go to the church and pray for your friends.Hybrid: Invite only, vampire.Damon: Here's my RSVP. (pulls out his heart) Hybrid.Damon: What the hell’s wrong with you? You’re not supposed to witchy migraine me.Bonnie: You’re not supposed to kill Tyler.Mikael: (Katherine stands back up, after Mikael stabs her thinking she is Elena) Katherine.Katherine: Kaboom.Damon: We're never getting Stefan back, you know that, don't you?Elena: Then we'll have to let him go.Katherine: Humanity is a vampire’s greatest weakness. No matter how easy it is to turn it off, It keeps trying to fight its way back in. Sometimes I let it.[edit]The New Deal [3.10]Elena: The Stefan that we know is gone.Bonnie: How is Damon handling that?Elena: Damon is... Damon.Damon: I can't drink all this by myself. I mean, I can. But then someone is getting naked.Jeremy: Hey, so what's the point of this again?Tyler: The point is I'm pissed at Caroline and Bonnie dumped your ass. The point is to get drunk and shoot stuff.Elena: Well, you're day drunk. It's not exactly your most attractive look.Damon: What is my most attractive look?Elena: I'm not saying that you have any attractive look. I'm just saying this is my least favorite one.Klaus: My sister has gone missing.Damon: Cute. Blonde bombshell. Psycho. Shouldn't be too hard to find.Elena: Vampires, hybrids and originals? No problem. My rebellious brother? I'm worried.Alaric: What if he asked you to... jump off a bridge?Tyler: He wouldn't. And even if he did, I'd be fine. I'm a hybrid.Elena: Ok, so what if he asked you to rip your own heart out?Tyler: Again, he wouldn't.Elena: What if he did?Tyler: I don't know. Then I'd rip out my heart.Klaus: Human life is just a means to an end. Our means, to our end.Jeremy: None of us are gonna make it out of this town alive.Damon: And they use their ju-ju to screw with my daylight ring.Elena: He's gonna kill Jeremy.Stefan: Not really my problem.(Elena slaps Stefan)Elena: Then you can go to hell.Damon: When are you going to get it? Stop. Saving. Me.Elena: Ric, hey. When did you return to the living?Damon: You go after Klaus, you're gonna have to be cut throat and devious. And I'm so much better at that than you.Damon: My brother is sort of running his own show right now.Elena: My brother just chopped of someone's head.Damon: Take it from me: Strange is bad, dead is worse.Elena: Thank you.Damon: No problem.Elena: Not just for this, Damon. For everything. I don't know what I would do if you weren't here.Damon: You should know this, Elena. Stefan didn't screw us over. He screwed us over, but he had a good reason.Elena: What?Damon: He saved Klaus to save me. Then he stole the coffins to get even.Elena: Damon, if he did it to protect you, then why would he even do that? What does that even mean?Damon: What does it mean? It means I'm an idiot. Cause I thought that for one second, that I wouldn't have to feel guilty anymore.Elena: Wait, what are you talking about? Guilty for what?Damon: For wanting what I want.Elena: Damon-Damon: No, I know. Believe me I get it. Brother's girl and all. (starts to walk away) No. You know what. If I'm gonna feel guilty about something, I'm gonna feel guilty about this. (kisses Elena)[edit]Our Town [3.11]Matt: You know, you guys are ruining a perfectly good funeral.Damon: Stefan just grabbed Elena.Klaus: Well, he's getting desperate.Damon: He's going to try to use her against you. Do what he says. Get rid of your hybrids.Klaus: Or what? Stefan would never dream of killing her.Damon: Are you sure about that? He just tried to behead someone in the middle of a council party. He's operating on crazy right now.Klaus: Well crazy or not, that kind of love never dies. He's bluffing.Damon: Maybe he is, maybe he isn't. But if you don't wanna believe him, believe me. I know my brother better than anyone and right now I don't have a clue how far he's willing to take this. So if he says blink, I suggest you blink.Caroline: Are you going to kill me?Klaus: On your birthday? You really think that low of me?Caroline: Yes.Klaus: That looks bad. My apologies you were just collateral damage, it's nothing personal. I love birthdays.Caroline:Yeah, aren't you like a billion or something?Klaus: You'll have to adjust your perception of time when you become a vampire Caroline, celebrate the fact that you are no longer bound by trivial human conventions. You're free.Caroline: No I'm dying.Klaus: And I could let you, die, if that's what you want. If you really believe your existence has no meaning. I thought about it myself once or twice over the centuries, truth be told. But I'll let you in on a little secret, there's a whole world out there waiting for you, great cities and art and music, genuine beauty, and you can have all of it, you can have a thousand more birthdays -all you have to do is ask.Caroline: I dont wanna die.Klaus: There you go sweetheart, have at it, happy birthday Caroline.Elena: You can't kiss me again.Damon: I know.Elena: You can't. It's not right.Damon: It's right. Just not right now.[edit]The Ties That Bind [3.12]Elena: Bonnie hasn't seen her mom in over 15 years. We don't need your snarky commentary narrating the experience.Bonnie: What's going on with you two?Damon: We kissed, now it's weird. Have a great trip.Elena: There's something I have to tell you. And it's not because I feel guilty that it happened. It's because I feel guilty that you don't know. I kissed Damon.Meredith: Vampire hunter who can't be killed by vampires. Convenient.[edit]Bringing Out the Dead [3.13]Elena: It's not Meredith. Okay? I refuse to believe that your luck with women is that tragic.Stefan: What are you doing here?Elena: Bonnie told me that you guys would be here. I need to talk to you.Stefan: Well, there's nothing to talk about. I'm just focused on getting this coffin opened.Elena: Did you kill the medical examiner?Stefan: Why would you think I did that?Elena: Maybe because I don't know what you are capable of anymore.Stefan: Believe what you want Elena.Elena: I don't want to believe any of it Stefan.Stefan: But you had to ask me anyway.Elena: Stefan-Stefan: Did you ask Damon? If he killed anyone lately?Damon: Oh, yes. This is about me kissing Elena. Just remember if it wasn't for Klaus you wouldn't have become such a dick and that kiss would have never happened. So get ready, and get happy. We're going to negotiate a fake truce and I don't want your attitude screwing up.Stefan: Where's Rebekah? Last I checked she was still daggered because you couldn't face her.Klaus: If you're referring to the fact that I killed our mother, I've already come clean to Elijah.Damon: Hey Stef. Remember when you killed dad? You might want to hold off on the judgement until dessert.Stefan: We're here to make a deal Damon. Doesn't mean we need to kiss his ass for seven courses.Klaus: Gentlemen. The worse thing for Elena Gilbert, is the two of you.Stefan: I love her Damon.Damon: So do I.Klaus: Elijah. Why haven't you left?Elijah: Where are your manners, brother? We forgot desert. (Removes a cloth from the trey, revealing two silver daggers)Klaus: What have you done?Elijah: What have you done? You see I've learnt not to trust your vulgar promises, Klaus. We're doing this on my terms now. (Elijah and Klaus's brother Kol comes into the room)Klaus: Kol!Kol: Long time, brother.Klaus: (Runs to the tray to retrieve a dagger but the dagger is seized by his brother Finn) Finn, don't (Finn stabs Klaus in the hand with the dagger. Klaus turns to run away and stops dead in his tracks)! Rebekah! (Rebekah comes into the room and stabs Klaus in the heart with the dagger)Rebekah: This is for our mother. (Klaus stumbles back to be seized by the arms by Kol. Finn and Rebekah surround him with angry looks on their faces)Elijah: (To Stefan and Damon) You're free to go. This is family business.[edit]Dangerous Liaisons [3.14]Elena: It's all so weird. The Originals are throwing a ball. Like, an actual ball.Caroline: It's some twisted Cinderella fetish, is what it is. And why does the evil witch want an audience with you?Elena: I have no idea. But there is one way to find out.Klaus: I'm glad you came.Caroline: Well it was either caviar or sympathy casseroles.Klaus: I heard about your father.Caroline: Don't. Seriously.Elena: (to Stefan) Mmm, he dances. I didn't even have to beg.Damon: Stop staring, it's creepy.Rebekah: Of course she looks beautiful. Nik gave her everything she's wearing.Damon: Elena. Did you get what you want?Elena: Actually, yes.Damon: Good. Tell me on the ride home. We're leaving.Elena: No, Damon. Let go of me. Look, I'm sorry that I had to cut you out of the plan.Damon: There shouldn't have been a plan. You shouldn't be here.Elena: You think I like going behind your back? I don't. But if I hadn't asked Stefan to help, you would have tried to be the hero and you would have ruined everything.Damon: Sorry for trying to keep you alive. Clearly Stefan doesn't give a crap anymore.Elena: Now you're mad at me for including Stefan?Damon: No. I'm mad at you because I love you.Elena: Well, maybe that's the problem. [pause] No, that's not what-Damon: No, I got it Elena. I care too much. I'm a liability. How ironic is that?Elena: Stefan. Did you really not feel anything?Stefan: When?Elena: How do you do that? Act like you don't care? Like you don't feel anything? Because I can't do that. I feel, I feel everything, and...Stefan: Elena stop.Elena: I'm not going to stop Stefan. Because I don't believe that you feel nothing.Stefan: You think I want to be this person? I hurt you, Elena, I bit you. I hate myself for what I did to you.Elena: Then show it. Do something Stefan, anything is better than trying to convince me that you don't care.Stefan: I can't.Elena: Stefan.Stefan: If I let myself care, all I feel is pain.[edit]All My Children [3.15]Damon: Why do you look like someone shot a panda bear?Kol: Out all night. What a scandal. I trust you did better than that commoner. Matt? Was it?Rebekah: You don't shut your mouth, the next thing to come out of it is your teeth.Elena: He was gloating, like actual gloat. Like he was proud of himself for sleeping with her. (to Caroline) Is it working?Caroline: It's not working. I can hear every word you're saying about Damon the vampire gigolo.Damon: Well you don't have to judge her. Just tie her up. Lock her in her room till this is over.Alaric: Well, I wouldn't if I could, and I can't because I'm busy.Damon: Busy doing what?Alaric: Don't worry about it.Damon: Are you with the sexy psycho doctor?Alaric: Good bye Damon.Elijah: In any case, you have until six minutes after nine to find them.Damon: Oh, how super specific of you.Rebekah: Do you think I want to spend what could be the last few hours of my life having idle chitchat with a girl who literally stabbed me in the back?Damon: A) What if she's with Esther? B) What if she can't cut her off? C) I don't know how any of this stuff works. And D) Neither do you.Rebekah: What is this?Elena: Sorry. No vampires allowed.Damon: So how do we know that they are going to be at the old witch house?Stefan: We don't. But if they're not, we have about 10 minutes till Rebekah tears Elena apart.Damon: You know, if we sit this out, Esther completes her spell, Klaus dies, you get your revenge, it's what you wanted the whole time. The only collateral damage is-Stefan: Elena.Damon: You know she'd choose?Stefan: She'd let herself be killed to save her friend.Damon: Yep.Stefan: You know, if we do this it will wreck her.Damon: Oh, she'll hate us. Thing is, she only has to hate one of us. Only one of us has to do the actual deed.Stefan: So, who's it going to be, brother?Damon: Well, heads I do it; tails you do it.Stefan: Awful lot of effort for someone who pretends not to care about her anymore.Elena: Are you insane?Rebekah: I prefer spontaneous.Damon: How long has it been since you've had a drop of human blood?Stefan: How'd you know?Damon: You spend 146 years with someone, you kind of start to pick up on their tells. Answer the question. How long has it been since your last drink?Stefan: Since the night I threatened to drive Elena off the Wickery Bridge.Damon: See. You have enough to feel guilty about. Why add to the list? By the way, you're welcome.Stefan: You know you're not fooling anyone either. You still love her Damon.Damon: I do. I thought I could win her from you fair and square. She didn't want me. It's for the best. I'm better at being the bad guy anyway.[edit]1912 [3.16]Damon: Dear Diary, a chipmunk asked me my name today. I told him it was Joe. That lie will haunt me forever.Stefan: What do you want?Damon: I was hoping we could hang. You know, a little brother bonding. I know we don't actually "hang out", we team up. We join forces, activate our wonder twin powers.Stefan: What are you doing?Damon: Digging up clues. Most of the Originals are gone, but now we have a Whodunit in town. Hey, do you remember when we came back for Zachariah's funeral?Stefan: Vaguely, why?Damon: Cause memory serves, he wasn't the first founders council member killed that year. Or even that month.Stefan: Your point being?Damon: I'm trying to remember what year it was.Stefan: 1912.Damon: So much for vaguely. 1912. Or as I like to call it, last time Mystic Falls had a serial killer on its hands.(1912 flashback)Damon: Have you been eating the relatives again?Elena: Just say it.Matt: I just don't get it. Your thing with them.Elena: I know it doesn't make sense. But at the beginning, after my parents died, there was something about being with Stefan that just, felt safe.Matt: Safe? Elena, he's a vampire.Elena: I know. Believe me, just saying it out loud, sounds crazy. But- It's like I knew that he would never, stop loving me. Like he would never-Matt: What?Elena: Die. Like he would never die.Matt: Like your parents did. And Damon?Elena: Damon just, sort of snuck up on me. He got under my skin and no matter what I do, I just, I can't shake him.Matt: Once you fall in love with someone, I don't know, I don't know if you can ever shake them.[edit]Break On Through [3.17]Damon: I didn't let him do anything. If you want to get nit-picky about it, I made him.Elena: Why would you do that?Damon: Because we're vampires, Elena. We need human blood to survive. We're predators, not puppies.Elena: Well, Stefan found a way around it before.Damon: Stefan has built himself a delusional wagon which he's repeatedly fallen off of.Alaric: Tell me again, why are we here?Damon: Ric, the world can't stop turning just because you're an accidental psycho killer.Meredith: Do you have any tact? Whatsoever?Sage: Please don't tell me you and Rebekah are friends.Damon: Not unless you count hate sex.Meredith: I really don't think you should be looking through that stuff.Alaric: Well, it's the truth. Restraining orders and all. My life is a series of police reports.Meredith: You don't strike me as an angry guy, which sounds weird given everything, but- you don't.Alaric: Yeah, well I was stupid when I was younger. It's not like these guys didn't have it coming. I mean, this guy here, broke a beer bottle over a bartender's head. This guy, hit his girlfriend. And this guy, okay, this guy was just a douche. Everyone needs to find a way to deal with their dark side. Some people meditate, I became a vampire hunter.Meredith: Semi-retired.Damon: Now unless you are interested in a Sage/Rebekah sex sandwich, I suggest you make yourself scarce.Bonnie: Who are you again?Jamie: The guy who lives out back, you know. The one you're not related to.Bonnie: Right.Jamie: Caroline and I had a little talk.Bonnie: Sounds like code for Caroline lectured you.Jamie: Maybe, but I needed it.Rebekah: I stole it from Nik, who stole it from a queen. Not sure which one.Alaric: What the hell are you doing here?Damon: Just making sure the witch didn't turn you into a toad, or a block of salt.Caroline: Well, when Bonnie gets back, she can snap her fingers or wave her hands or whatever, and make the herbs bloom.[edit]The Murder of One [3.18]Damon: Morning, sunshine.Elena: Hey. How's Alaric?Damon: Indecent, but fine.Elena: Does that mean there were no issues last night?Damon: Nope, slept like a baby, woke up Alaric, no headlines about dead council members.Elena: Then why do I feel like you're hiding something from me?Damon: Well, maybe because you're being paranoid and control freaky. What'd you bring me? Ooh, chocolate muffins. You know what they say, the way to a psycho killer's heart is through his stomach.Elena: They're not for you.Damon: Fine. Keep convincing yourself that you're still mad at me. But sadly, Ric is gonna have to miss Elena time today. You know, lockdown and all.Elena: Just, take it to him and tell him I miss him, okay?Damon: We use the quarterback to distract her. Just keep her talking.Matt: How?Damon: Act interested. She's lonely, desperate.Caroline: Clearly, she slept with you.Damon: No last minute attacks of pity for any of them.Elenea: Don't worry about me. Not after what happened to Bonnie's mom.Damon: Barbie?Caroline: Oh, Im ready. Anything that will free Tyler of his sire bond to Klaus.Damon: Lost boy?Matt: Do I have a choice?Damon: Good point.Alaric: I mean did you learn nothing from the moonstone in the soap dish?Klaus: I wouldn't let it bother you, love.Bonnie: Well, it does bother me. You bother me.Caroline: I miss well-adjusted Stefan.Rebekah: Nik, he's my play thing, not yours.Rebeka: The Salvatore's may fight like dogs but in the end, they would die for each other. At least they know what family means.you destroyed ours.
Klaus: I wanted a family. They just didn't want me. And now, we're unlked. We're no longer responsible for each other.Elena: You haven't said much since you got home.Stefan: Ill be a ball of sunshine once Damon get Alarik's stake back. Promise.
Damon: Are you telling me that your vampire hating alter-ego has a stake that can kill an entire line of vampires, possibly mine?[edit]Heart of Darkness [3.19]Elena: Well, you still need the basics. Toothbrush. Clothes. Some boring books to help you sleep.Alaric: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde?Alaric: What's Klaus gonna do if he can't find it?Elena: It's the only thing that can kill him, so...wage war, murder people...you know, Klaus stuff.Damon: I like that confidence, Stefan. I don't share it, but I like it.Stefan: You know they're going to do what it takes?Damon: Well, your good Stefan again; your under control. Sorry, you might get the girl, but you lose the edge. Speaking of...Stefan: Look, Elena needed to go on that road trip with Damon. No matter what I go through to get her back: fighting my blood-lust, trying to gain control of my life again; none of that matters if she has feelings for someone else.Damon: Next time we compel him, remind me to make him better at baseball.Jeremy: Fine. Can we talk about this later? My friend just got here, and yes Damon, I actually have some.Jeremy: So where are we?Damon: The corner of somewhere and nowhere where Kol can't find us.Tyler: You have no idea how much I've missed youAlaric: Who knows. Maybe his alter ego is some pot-smoking, hippie pacifist.Caroline: Right now, Damon is desperate to figure out which Original created our vampire blood-line. And if he finds out it wasn't Klaus, they're all going to kill him.Tyler: But Klaus turned me. So if he dies, I die.Caroline: I know that, they know that. The difference is, Damon doesn't care.Elena: Who is this Mary person?Damon: Scary Mary. Really old. Super creepy.Elena: And how do you know her?Damon: You know.Elena: Of course.Damon: What? I said creepy. Not ugly.Alaric: (Alaric's alter ego) Look at you. One of nature's most hideous creatures, and you can't even get that right.Stefan: I've been fighting that part of myself. Thinking that if I repress it, it would go away, but it won't. But now that I've excepted it, it can't control me. And neither can you. So unless your going to stake me, why don't you get the hell out of my house.Rose: They had a fight. I know you want to stop it. Protect her from it. But you're young, you don't see what I see. It's not just that she makes him a better person. And she does. He changes her too. Damon challenges her. Surprises her. He makes her question her life. Beliefs. Stefan is different. His love is pure. He'll always be good for her. Damon is either the best thing for her, or the worst.[edit]Do Not Go Gentle [3.20]Elena: I didn't tell you that so you could torture me with it.Caroline: What are friends for?Elena: Getting out of bed is dangerous these days. But we have to live our lives.Stefan: Hmm, who gave you that horrible advice?Elena: Some guy I use to date said it once or twiceTyler: What's he gonna do? Draw you another picture?Jeremy: Yeah, I know all about Alaric. When my sister stops hanging around vampires, I'll take it off.Jamie: Your friends seem pretty cool.Bonnie: They're the most important thing in the world to me.Jamie: Though, you got to admit. The whole circle of people, it's kind of crazy. I mean, there is vampire, werewolves...ex-boyfriends with magic rings?Damon: Sorry to spoil your seven minutes in Heaven.Ester: Vampires took everything from him. Now, he's getting his vengeance.Klaus: Where have you been, mate?Tyler: I just got back in town.Klaus: That's funny. I don't recall giving you permission to leave in the first place.Caroline: Why do you always have to prove you're the alpha male?Klaus: I don't have to prove anything, love. I am the alpha male.Klaus: You would have loved the 1920's, Caroline. Girls were reckless,sexy, fun. And literally use to dance until they dropped.Stefan: I don't suppose that ever happened to their dance partners.Klaus: What is this?Stefan: Your mother's back.Stefan: Aw, don't be stupid Klaus. Bonnie doesn't give a damn about us. The only reason she's helping is to save Caroline and Tyler. You start killing the people she cares about, she'll tell us all to go to hell.Damon: Your still mad at me for what happened to Abby. Let me apologize. I'm sorry Elijah forced us to turn you mother into a vampire to save Elana's life. Didn't exactly have a choice.Bonnie: There's always a choice. When ever you make one, some one else suffers.Klaus: Let's cut the dramatics and begin, shall we?Tyler: Klaus could get killed. And I die along with him.Stefan: No one's gonna die, ok?Caroline: Tyler, it doesn't matter how many times I dance with him. I love you.Klaus: Well, there were moments, real friendship. Brotherhood.Damon: Oh, he already has a brother. Not to be, you know, territorial or anything.Klaus: Oh, no, of course. The Salvatore brothers and their unshakable bond. I wonder what will happpen when Elena finally makes her choice. Will we see you shake, just a little bit?Stefan: We can handle this later, you know.Elena: No, I rather it over with now before some janitor comes to clean out Alaric's stuff and realizes the history teacher was a vampire slayer.Stefan: After I bit you I never wanted to feel anything again. But someone kept telling me that it was okay to feel. No matter how much it hurt. That our emotions are what make us human, good or bad. To never lose hopeElena: Who gave you that horrible advice?Stefan: Some girl I use to date.Elena: I dont have anyone anymoreStefan: You have me.Damon: Apparently my choices have been a bit controversial lately.Alaric: Is this the part where you give me a dream? Rainbows and rolling green hills?Damon: I was drunk when I told you that.Damon: Sorry I killed you. Twice.Alaric: So I have to actually die to get a real apology out of you.[edit]Before Sunset [3.21]Rebekah: You're supposed to be dead!Alaric: I am.Stefan: What do you mean he turned? I thought you were standing guard.Damon: Don't blame me! Blame Bonnie the blood bank.Klaus: That's why I'm here. I'm leaving town. Just need to pick up a few road trip necessities. Spare tire, flashlight... doppelganger.Klaus: Think you're probably going to want to let me in.Damon: [to Bonnie and Jeremy after Klaus throws a piece of a wooden fence] Get down! [to Klaus] Missed me! [after Klaus throws another piece] Missed me again!Klaus: You know, if this does go off and we drop the history teacher in the Atlantic,I'm still leaving with Elena.Stefan: I'll go with you.Klaus: Really. What's the catch?Stefan: There's no catch. I turn my back on everything here to make sure Elena's safe.Klaus: That is what makes you her better option.Damon: [about Abby]I'm sorry. I forgot about her stellar record in the dependability department.Abby: Why didn't I have to be invited in?Bonnie: Only vampires live here.Damon: We'd signed over the deed to Elena, but she died and the seal broke. And... it's a very long story. Blood?Abby: It's too dangerous. Your magic comes from the earth. It's pure. This spell asks you to tap into dark places. Places of temptation. Places you can't handle.Bonnie: You turned your back on me for 16 years. You have no idea what I can handle.Damon: Got to say I'm team Bonnie on this one. How hard can it be to parch a vampire?Abby: To stop a vampire's heart, you need to find a balance among the living. Can you handle that?Damon: What? What does that mean? Bonnie, I don't speak witch.Bonnie: I have to stop a human heart.Klaus: Before we all walk through these doors lets get on the same page, shall we? I created your vampire bloodline, therefor I am responsible for your lives. And Tyler"s life, Caroline's life. And of course, Abby's life. Should anything go wrong.Damon: Or your just lying t o save your ass.Klaus: I'm not lying. But go ahead, call my bluff--let the teacher kill me, You'll all be dead soon thereafter.Alaric: [About Caroline] She's a murderer. She told me she killed someone and liked it.Elena: [holding a knife to her throat] Stop! Let him go or I'll kill myself.Alaric: Put it down.Elena: Why? Because you still need me alive? There's a reason why Esther used me to make you, isn't there? She didn't want you to be immortal. So she tied your life to a human one--mine. That way, you only have one lifespan to kill all vampires, and then you'll be gone. So when I die, you die, too. That's it! It has to be.Alaric: You're wrong.Elena: Am I?Alaric: Klaus is going to kill Elena.Damon: What?Stefan: What are you talking about? Klaus needs Elena's blood to make hybrids. She's the last person that he'd kill.Alaric: The witch bound my life to Elena's. If she dies, I die. Klaus figured that out, and now he's taken her. Now I'm trapped here until the sun goes down, so you two better get to what you do best-- saving Elena's life.Elena: What about your hybrids? You'll need more than this to create your army?Klaus: These last few liters will have to suffice. You see... by attempting to kill us, my mother strengthened the bond between my siblings and I. I don't need hybrids. I have my family.Elena: If you believe that, why take my blood at all? [pause] You want a back-up family. You know that your siblings will never trust you again.Klaus: You know Stefan blames me for trying to tear him from his brother? But I think we both know who really came between them. You. That's why you won't choose. You know once you pick a Salvatore, you'll destroy their bond. Consider this me doing you a favor. Once you're dead, you won't have to choose. No broken hearts. Their family stays intact. But just between us girls, who would you have picked?Elena: Rot in hell.Klaus: Hm. You're welcome.Klaus: So much for that sire bond.Tyler: I'm not you're little bitch anymore.Stefan: What?Damon: How many desiccated hybrids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?Stefan: You're in a good mood.Damon: Yeah, I'm in a good mood. Klaus is dead, my brother is halfway to sane--again. Give or take an immortal hunter that wants to kill us. We won, Stefan. Come on, say it. Say it! We won.Stefan: [dryly] We won.Damon: Once more, with feeling!Stefan: [more forcefully] We won.Elena: Mom and Dad were right. Alaric should just kill all the vampires and put an end to all of this. But then that means that Caroline dies. And Bonnie loses her mom. The Mayor loses her son. And I lose Stefan and Damon. So if it makes me the bad guy for wanting to keep those people alive, then fine. I'll be the bad guy.Jeremy: You're forgetting that Alaric never wanted any of this. Once he carries out his plan, what if he doesn't want to live anymore? And he kills his human connection to end his life. That would mean I would lose you. I'm not going to let that happen.[edit]The Departed [3.22]Damon: You did what?Jeremy: I took her to the hospital. When you find your sister unconscious, you call 9-1-1.Damon: Not when you have a parade of vampires at your disposal.Damon: Have I told you lately how much I appreciate you not being the dumbest brother on Earth?Damon: Our life is one big proverbial coin toss.Caroline: Now what can I get you? Do you want some tea? Maybe some vodka? Both will help you sleep. [Elena sighs] I know. I'm being smothering. It's what I do.Elena: [chuckles] No. It's..it's nice.Caroline: [chuckles] I'm thinking... maybe tea with vodka[flashback]Bonnie: You didn't say it back.Elena: What?Bonnie: You know what. You can't string him along, Elena. If you're not into it anymore, just...tell him.Elena: I'm sorry that I strung you along. I should have figured out what I wanted, and just been honest about it. And now I'm making the same mistakes with Stefan and Damon. It's not right, what I'm doing to them, either. I--I have to let one of them go.Matt: Which one?Matt: Why should she help you? All you've done is screw her over.Elijah: And for that I am deeply ashamed. But know this--she could have been the instant I walked through that door tonight. So, Elena, I leave it to you to decide whether to trust me or not.Damon: [over the phone,yelling] Not! Hello! Did that concussion give you brain damage?Damon: I'm not halfway out of Virginia and Elena sells our souls to the Originals?Bonnie: It's her call.Damon: You know what else is her call? Everything bad ever.Bonnie: Where's the body? As long as it's unspoiled, Alaric is one witch away from finding him.Damon: Hidden. I was going to use Unit 666, but I figured that would be a little obvious. So... 1020. Mini fridge, a couple of bird cages, box full of Playboys. One beef jerkified Original.Damon: Bonnie just left. Rebekah should be here soon to pick up the body.Stefan: I got Caroline and Elijah in place. Jeremy's gonna lead Alaric to us.Damon: You just had to let her make the choice, didn't you?Stefan: What would you have done, Damon?Damon: Grabbed her, gagged her, threw her in a well. I don't know, anything other than let her trust Elijah!Stefan: [chuckles] You know she'd just hate you for it, right?Damon: Yet she'd be alive and she'd hate me. Thus the eternal difference between you and me. BrotherDamon: [to who he thinks is Rebekah] It's about time, sexy bex.Damon: Call me if you cough up a lung.Elena: We have to go back. Listen to me, Matt. If Klaus is the one that turned their bloodline, then they're all gonna die. [shouting] We have to go back, Matt!Matt: Elena...Elena: What?Matt: Damon's not with them.Elena: What?Matt: He's a hundred miles out of town. I can keep driving to him, or I can turn around and go back to Stefan. It's your choice.Damon: Since I'm possibly a dead man, can I ask you a question?Elena: Yeah, of course.Damon: If it was just down to him and me, and you had to make a choice who got the good-bye... who would it be?Elena: I love him, Damon. He came into my life at a time when I needed someone, and I fell for him instantly. And no matter what I feel for you, I... I never un-fell for him.Damon: Hey, I get it. It's Stefan. It's always going to be Stefan.Elena: I can't think about '"always". All I can think about is right now. And I care about you, Damon. Which is why I have to let you go. I mean, maybe if you and I had met first...Damon: Maybe.[flashback]Elena: [on the phone] I know Bonnie, you're right. You and my mom both are. I just can't bring myself to tell him. At least not tonight. I'll call you later.Damon: (under the impression Elena is Katherine) Katherine.Elena: Um...no. I-- I'm Elena.Damon: Oh. You-- you just look... I'm sorry. You just really remind me of someone. I'm Damon.Elena: Not to be rude or anything, Damon, but it's kind of creepy that you're out here in the middle of nowhere.Damon: You're one to talk. You're out here all by yourself.Elena: It's Mystic Falls. Nothing bad ever happens here. (gestures to her phone) I got into a fight with my boyfriend.Damon: 'Bout what? May I ask.Elena: Life, the future. He's got it all mapped out.Damon: And you don't want it?Elena: I don't know what I want.Damon: Well, that's not true. You want what everybody wants.Elena: What? A Mysterious stranger who has all the answers?Damon: Hmm. Well, let's just say I've been around a long time. I've learned a few things.Elena: So, Damon... tell me. What is it that I want?Damon: (telling Elena what kind of guy she reaal yneeds in her life)You want a love that consumes you. You want passion and adventure, and even little danger.Elena: So what do you want?Damon: Ah... [horn honks]Elena: That's my parents.Damon: I want you to get everything you're looking for. But right now I want you to forget that this happened. I can't have people knowing I'm in town yet. Good night, Elena.Damon: Where is she?Meredith: Damon…Damon: Where is she?Meredith: Wait! You need to know, when Jeremy brought Elena in here earlier tonight, her injuries were worse than I let on. It wasn’t a concussion. It was a cerebral hemorrhage. Bleeding on the brain.Damon: What are you saying?Meredith: He was so worried, I didn’t want to tell him. But, I helped her. She needed my help.Damon: You what?